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Should Women Have Babies When They Can't Afford Them?

Should Women Have Babies When They Can't Afford Them?

New mama of octuplets, Nadya Suleman, gave birth to her multiples last week bringing the total number in her brood to 14. The 33-year-old already had six children aged 2 to 7, prior to this pregnancy and hit hard financial times last year. All of the children are said to be a result of IVF from donor sperm. This story has sparked a lot of controversy, but what's your opinion?

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BellaJohnson BellaJohnson 6 years
My boyfriend had an ex , she had no job, she had no ambition, she just sat at home with her 3 kids. Now, while he figured he was helping, he soon realized he was only adding to her stupid existence. A woman who cannot care for her children and does not show love and caring, should not have kids, and it's a wonder to me how they even get them in the first place! This woman my boyfriend used to be with was a complete slum, who let her baby girls rot in dipers and she locked them in their rooms all day. They were 1,3, and 7 (which she refused to walk half a block up the street to enroll her baby in kindergarten), I think any woman would walk their babies as far as they had to so they could get an education, and trust me, this school was less than a 3 minute walk. My boyfriend quickly broke up with her, though she did not make it easy. Apparently she was totally nice, then showed her true colors once they move in. To be completely honest, I have no idea what my boyfriend was thinking, he's such a great guy that sometimes I just don't get it. He's smart and funny, he's got a great job (i'm sure that's why she liked him to and made the break up hell), he's got a nice truck and alot going for him. But at least he finally got it, and realized he couldn't save her kids from her, without dragging his whole life down at the same time. Also, another point, women I believe should not raise their babies without a Dad. Babies need both mom and dad to become a full-functioning human being. I want to be a mom, and my boyfriend wants to be a dad. And we will make great parents when the time is right. But I will not deprive my children by not being able to care for them properly. My children will have a home, a mother and father that live together and support them, and a loving, caring atmosphere. There's alot of issues with this woman (Nayda Sulemon), I think a big one was to make the news and gather money that way. I think inside she knows she's fucked up, weather or not she wants to admit it. It's sad. She's sad. I feel bad for these children that won't grow up well rounded and have all oportunities at them, even if she's paid out for her 8-kid stunt, She'll probably go get more expensive nails put on her fingers than go and buy her babies food and house. So, no, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE BABIES IF THEY CAN'T GIVE THEM A GOOD STABLE LIFE AND A HEALTHY HOME.
TnTn TnTn 7 years
I can't imagine how a woman could keep having babies if she can not finacially take care of the kids she all ready has. It seems really selfish to me. It is like she did it for the attention, and the plan seems to have worked. She is all in the media. I feel so sorry for her children.
pour-qua pour-qua 7 years
MaggieLei, Yes, the embryos were implanted. The mother said she did not want to leave fertilized eggs (read: babies) frozen. So she had all of them implanted. That was a moral decision she made based on her belief that life starts at conception. There is nothing wrong with a doctor serving his patient. What is truly scary, is a doctor who believes he'll make a patient's moral decisions for them. The unfortunate truth is the technology of IVF opens up a huge gray area about how we define life, choices, and options. As it's been said before, our humanity has yet to catch up to our technology. However, as long as the technology is legal, you cannot choose who gets access to it without becoming a totalitarian.
pour-qua pour-qua 7 years
My personal opinion is that having any medical fertility assistance at all when there are so many beautiful children that need adoption is self-serving, regardless of the income level of the family. My personal opinion is that children do better when raised by two married parents who are entirely committed to each other and the children. However, I will defend to my dying day the absolute right of anyone to have as many children as they want, take advantage of any state programs they qualify for, and be as untraditional as they want to be. It doesn't have to be my choice or even OK with me for it to be someone else's right!
MaggieLei MaggieLei 7 years
How about both. I don't think anyone should be told how many kids they should have. However, I think she is crazy. If they kids are from IVF, I think the doctor should be investigated. Implanting 8 embryos seems excessive.
princessAlexi princessAlexi 7 years
I could be wrong but isn't IVF quite expensive? How can you justify paying for that if you can't even cover the needs of your current children. It makes no sense to me, I would even say it's comparable to the banks who are crying for bail-out $$ while they are throwing lavish fetes and taking extravagant vacations.
RenSis RenSis 7 years
I'm not against any family being large as long as all needs of the children are met BY THE PARENTS!!! But when a family has to pull from family members, the government, TV publicity, etc. because of the number of children they have that is rediculous! What I think is sad about this woman using IVF and doner sperm to have 14 children is that there are so many children that need to be adopted into good homes! If she really wanted that many children, she could have had a few of her own then adopted some. I'm sure if this woman could find the means to do rounds of IVF she could afford to adopt a few children!
litbear221 litbear221 7 years
I think this is an incredibly insane situation, one article I read said that she has been obsessed, literally obsessed with children. I don't believe that children always need a father, but it's not fair to bring 8 more children into the world through a sperm donor when you obviously can't afford the six you already have. I feel terrible for this woman's parents, her poor dad had to go back to Iraq or whatever to work again, that is insane. I am curious about how she got a degree in Child Development, because that was my minor in college and I guess I had a totally different education than she did (hahaha). I don't think anyone in their right mind would get 8 embryos put in them if they already live in a two bedroom, and her parents had to sell their old house... insane... I don't want my tax dollars paying for irresponsible people, especially ones with 14 kids. But everyone also has to be aware that shows like J+K+8 and the Duggars are making it look like it's easy to have so many kids. Places like planned parenthood exist for a reason, because they give out free birth control, as well as family planning services...
graylen graylen 7 years
Even her own mother said she was unhealthily obsessed with having children. She's not married and heavily leaning on her mother for help. There is just no way that two people could take care of 8 newborns, much less 14 children under the age of 8. I personally feel that child services should step in. As far as paying for the IVF, I'd heard on the news that she had been working at a fertility clinic. Since the doctor was willing to put in 8 embryos for someone who had no trouble getting pregnant, it doesn't seem like it's the most legit fertility clinic around. I have to say that I agree with macgirl though. If you are on public assistance, you shouldn't be bringing more children into this world. They can get free contraceptives at many places. It's irresponsible and unfair to everyone who is paying for them.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 7 years
That Suleman lady is completely irresponsible in my opinion. You don't need to be a millionaire to have children but I don't think it's right to do implant 8 embryos when you have 6 kids and filed for bankruptcy last year. She's obviously looking for money and fame at the expense of her parents, children, and taxpayers.
MartiniLush MartiniLush 7 years
I am really sad to say this, but the fact that she has a publicist and is seeking a $2 million deal pretty much says to me the reason she had these children. :-( I wonder if the doctor who implanted all those embryos in her faces any medical disciplinary action?
macgirl macgirl 7 years
I understand that there are all these slippery slopes and such, but you shouldn't be allowed to have babies if you are on public assistance. Your right to continue to breed shouldn't be on my dime. I think the doctor who implanted 8 embryos into a woman with 6 kids should pay for them, not me.
iieee_grrl iieee_grrl 7 years
When you have 6 children already on welfare, it is irresponsible and should be criminal to have 8 more. To me, that's insurance fraud. Welfare doesn't usually pay for fertility treatments, so she obviously has financial means to pay for them and shouldn't be allowed to continue on welfare. She's a single mom, lives with her mother and now has 14 children in what the news says is a 1,400 square foot house. By DHS laws in our state she would be breaking the law if that were a daycare.
mushaboom mushaboom 7 years
In this case, absolutely not. No reputable clinic would have treated her, much less gone for IVF. It's so unsettling: bankrupt, single, living with her mother in a small house, already with 6 small children? It's as if absolutely no screening/patient evaluation were done. And then to implant 8 embryos, when IVF should not even be happening, and to implant that many in a woman whose fertility is likely just fine... it's just incredibly unethical medicine. Cases like this are the reason there should be a law setting a limit for the # of embryos transferred in one session. And patient screening!! Seriously, what happened here?
hanako66 hanako66 7 years
I am 28 and have been married for over 5 years. My husband and I have been waiting to have children until we are in a good financial situation. Just in the past 2 years have I even considered having a baby. If it happens now, we are fine, but I still consider our situation to be less than ideal (I work and so does hub). This situation that this woman has here is completely insane...she has to have serious mental issues??!
kittyhill kittyhill 7 years
If the couple feels it's the right time & are willing to make the necessary sacrifices, yes. But paying for IVF when she already has 6 kids & has bankrupted her parents is just selfish & irresponsible.
SweetnLow SweetnLow 7 years
Something about this situation just does not add up beyond whether or not she could afford them. Why would any reputable clinic implant more than 4 embys into a woman who is obviously fertile- especially with a history of twins and six other children- one of whom has special needs? I've been wondering if this was done intentionally for a payout. J&K+8 are (with conservative projections) set to make $8,000,000 this year- I know that type of money would sound great to me if I were a single mother who had been out of work for 4 years. Not to mention she already has a publicist and is seeking $2m for an appearance?
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 7 years
I do believe in her case no, how did they afford IFV when they are already having financial problems? I can understand an accident (what else are you going to do when you have no money?) but to go out and make babies and not be able to afford them, to me that's somewhat selfish, she should have put this on hold until her affairs are in order.
theprettypixie theprettypixie 7 years
I agree with lizrocks -- this seems reckless. The family has six beautiful children, when many mothers/fathers with the means to support a child can't get pregnant with their first. I don't understand how the parents could in good faith decide to expand their family (and increase their financial pressures) when bankruptcy was already in the cards.
lizrocks lizrocks 7 years
I think having a child (no matter if it's no. 1 or no. 12) that puts you on welfare or dependent on others for support is too many and is just plain ignorant and reckless.
tngirly tngirly 7 years
this is a sluippery slope argument though. how many is too many? how tough of a financial time to too tough? Who makes that decision? If you follow this argument to its logical conclusion, we end up like China with a 1 child law.
Gabriela14815884 Gabriela14815884 7 years
I think it really depends on the situation, in this extreme case then no she shouldn't have had more babies especially since the other children she has are still so young. I think however in other cases where there may be financial stress and the woman gets pregnant and wants the child then it should be her choice because while babies do cost lots of money there is always a way to provide for them (not necessarily through public assistance) however there is a point where enough should be enough IMO.
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