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Telling People You Gave Birth Drug-Free

Is It Bragging to Say You Gave Birth Without Drugs?

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about saying your baby was born drug-free.

All babies, however they came into this world, are beautiful. I don't understand the need for all the drama involved in judging other women for how and where they chose to deliver. A 40-year-old mother who recently gave birth to a darling little girl has really been making waves on a Facebook page called Bondi Babies.

Kirra Givanni posted on the page looking to bond with other moms who had experienced an all-natural, unmedicated child birth. Instead of finding camaraderie, she was bombarded with hateful comments. The mediator of the group eventually had to delete her post due to the hostility it was receiving.

Related: Was this mom almost arrested for her child's tantrum?

Many of the moms who commented on Kirra's post stated she was "bragging" and trying to "shame" other moms who had received medical assistance. I cannot say if I would have been offended by her post because it has been permanently deleted, but she gave Daily Mail a rundown of what she said.

"Basically I wrote — women have been having babies for a long time naturally without drugs, and at my age doctors told me that I couldn't do it, that it would almost be impossible. I loved giving birth [unmedicated]. Has anyone else experienced this?"

If this is what she actually wrote, I think it is crazy that women would be criticizing her. After having my first baby via c-section, I was on the "I'm going to VBAC with no drugs" train by my second pregnancy. I had The Business of Being Born on rerun and the perfect birth plan mapped out. However, after rolling into the hospital seven hours after my labor started, I was a dead ringer for Amy Poehler in Baby Mama. I was begging for drugs the minute I got admitted.

I eventually ended up having another c-section and have still not had my dream birthing experience. That being said, I have never looked at a woman talking about her natural childbirth as boasting. In fact, I think women who have been empowered enough to do this should brag. These women are rock stars.

Our own Melissa Willets comments on her drug-free delivery:

"As for me, I wouldn't go so far as to say I 'enjoyed' a drug-free birth, but I was determined to have one. I don't regret my choice, and YES, I felt VERY pressured to get that epidural. But it was my third birth, and I knew what I was getting into. I'd do it again the same way if I could. I believe in feeling the entire experience, pain and all. But each woman should do what she wants for her birth (in so much as she can control certain factors), as I did for mine."

Moms also have their claws out when it comes to the issue of breastfeeding. I have nursed all three of my children. My house has never seen a can of formula (not bragging, just saying). After doing this for three consecutive years, I can understand women who choose to do formula — for any reason. Breastfeeding is not always fun, in fact, sometimes it really sucks (pun intended). So if I want to pat myself on the back or relate to other moms who breastfeed, pipe down if you haven't got anything nice to say.

We moms need to encourage one another even if we don't always agree. Motherhood is hard no matter who you are. Enough with these mommy wars!

At what point do you consider a woman bragging when she talks about her natural birth? And is it okay to brag about having a drug-free birth?

More great reads from BabyCenter:

Where Do You Put Your Kids When You Return a Shopping Cart?
Why Clothes Shopping With Your Tween Is Terrifying
Are We Too Hard on Ourselves as Moms?
Is There a Wrong Way to Feel After Taking a Pregnancy Test?

Photo by Shaunae Teske

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Jenna1409718620 Jenna1409718620 1 year

I do think it's bragging. It's one thing to tell your birth story and that you used no drugs. It's another to pat yourself on the back and tell everyone how proud of yourself you are. Apparently these people need affirmation of their great accomplishment from everyone else. My sister in law is very into home birth and is vocal about, even told me I endangered my kids by having epidurals and them in the hospital. I believe she endangered my nieces and nephews by having them at home, but I don't tell her that. Everyone can make up their own mind on how to birth their babies. I potty trained my daughter by 15mos, and her daughter (born the same month as mine) was almost four when she was finally potty trained. So should I go around proclaiming to everyone my baby was already potty trained and how proud of myself I am? No I don't. So maybe she had a natural birth, but I'm not a lazy mom like she is, never disciplining my kids and being asked out of play groups due to my kids bad behavior like her. My point is, everyone has something that they CAN brag about or try to elicit praises for, but should they? Be the best mom you can be, and if you know you are doing your best, why do you need to elicit affirmation from other people? You already know you're good. I'm now pregnant with my 4th baby , and may or may not have drugs, who knows? But I'm not going to go drug free to prove I can for the praise of other people, I'll do what I feel my body can handle.

Tiffany-Wolff Tiffany-Wolff 2 years

I do think it's bragging.
You did it without drugs. (unmedicated, don't say natural) Good for you. You can be proud, and if someone asks you, feel free to pour your heart out sharing your experience. I'm not being sarcastic when I say that I sincerely applaud you.

But...
I've just got to wonder, if no one asks, why feel the need to talk about it? It's kind of a personal thing, right? So if you're just talking about it just because you're proud and because you feel like it, that's pretty much bragging, yes?

I had an emergency C to a preemie who couldn't breastfeed, and even though he's now 9 months old and healthy, it still hurts A LOT to hear moms bragging about their unmedicated birth stories and breastfeeding accomplishments. Good for you, but I didn't ask and don't want it rubbed in my face. (In this instance, I'm not sure I'd call it "rubbed in my face" but it's out there enough to feel unavoidable)

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