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7 Things That Don't Fly in This Mom's House

Aug 19 2014 - 1:07pm

Every mom has her list of the things that she simply won't tolerate from her kids, whether they're irritating behaviors, questionable toys, or off-limits words. I may have only been in the moms club for two years, but I already feel like every trip to the toy store, playdate with a new friend, or afternoon at the playground has me adding to my mental "not in this house!" list. Here, seven things that I'm simply not going to allow to go down under my roof (and I'll go ahead and set a calendar reminder to see how I'm doing in another two years, because let's face it, sometimes even the best intentions don't work out as planned).

What's on your list?

Source: Flickr user David Salafia [1]

Barney, Kindly Exit Stage Left

I can tolerate children's programming to an extent, but the one character that truly makes me cringe is Barney. I have memories of babysitting for kids who adored the show some 15 years ago, and that purple dinosaur's voice is just like nails on a chalkboard to me (sorry, PBS!).

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 8 — My son's already 2. Barney's kind of fallen out of fashion. Unless a preschool pal introduces him, we should be safe.

Source: Flickr user Karen Mae Farro [2]

Toy Guns

Back when I was a kid, the sight of toy guns never fazed me, and it was easy to disassociate child's play with the scary realities of war and violence. Nowadays, school shootings [3] are an all-too-common and horrifying experience, and I'm quite certain that I'll never be comfortable with toy guns in the house.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 7 — While I'm pretty adamant about holding my ground about this (seriously, perhaps more so than anything else on this list), my husband has fond memories of playing with G.I. Joe as a kid. Our next-door neighbors (and my little boy's idols) are big on the plastic artillery, too. I'm going to try to stand strong on this, but I'm aware of the reality of outside influences.

Source: Flickr user Lonnie Duncan III [4]

Bouncy Houses

I know, this one may sound crazy. But when my brother was a little kid, he got bounced on and had his nose broken in a bouncy house at a carnival. Then this year, there were not one but two instances of kids getting carried away in them [5]. That's enough to freak out this mom.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 2 — While I can probably avoid having one of these in my own backyard, it's only a matter of time before we encounter a bouncy house at a carnival, block party, or birthday party. And if I know myself, I know that I'll give in.

Source: Flickr user gregw [6]

Unwarranted Screaming

We all know at least one kid who does this. The screeching, the screaming at deafening tones for no apparent reason.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 5 (purely because I don't want to jinx myself).

Source: Flickr user David Salafia [7]

Monster High (or Other "Risque" Dolls)

I can handle the idea of talking to kids about Barbie's unrealistic proportions — I was a big fan as a child and never felt myself feeling insecure around a doll. But from Bratz to Monster High to what My Little Pony has become, I see no reason for kids to be parading around scantily clad teens or ponies or whatever. No siree.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 7 — Right now we only have a little boy. A truck-, plane-, and train-loving boy. But who knows what the future holds. If we ever have a little girl, I'm well aware that I can't control her birthday gifts or what she's exposed to at friends' houses.

Source: Flickr user George [8]

Light-Up Sneakers

I'm the last one to say that all shoes have to be utilitarian — impractical shoes are one of my favorite guilty pleasures. But I draw the line with these kinds of bells and whistles. Light-up sneakers aren't just annoying to parents (and clunky on kids), they're somewhat irritating to anyone who crosses their path.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 7 — I'd give it an 8 or 9, but I did fork over my credit card for firefighter rainboots last week because they made him so happy.

Source: Kids Woot! [9]

A TV in the Bedroom

The TV is probably on a bit more than it should be in our house. And if it allows us to enjoy a meal out or have some quiet time on a long car ride, I'll fork over the iPhone. But I draw my line at the idea of my son ever having a television set in his bedroom. Completely and totally unnecessary.

Likelihood That It'll Last (on a Scale of 1-10): 9 — I can't see why this would ever have to happen. I'm standing by this one. There are plenty of other portable screens out there . . . enough is enough!

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