Image Source: YouTube user Marc de Graauw [1]
Although it no doubt tears you up to see your precious child sniffling and coughing their way through their Winter cold, any sane mom knows that you can't get through a flu season without a sarcastic thought or two regarding your child's inability to sneeze into a tissue. All mothers love their children, yes, but all mothers also have trouble keeping themselves from losing it when their kid wipes a line of snot across everything he touches throughout the duration of his stay in Flu-ville.
Read through for 66 real thoughts every mother undoubetdly has when their kiddo is sick [2].
Image Source: YouTube user America's Funniest Home Videos [3]
- Geez, kid, you're burning up!
- Let me take your temperature to see what we're dealing with here.
- Just let me put it in your ear, it only takes a second.
- Please sit still, I'll let you watch Caillou.
- Just kidding, no I won't.
- That number would have probably been more accurate if you sat still, but you definitely have a fever.
- Well, this day is going to go differently than I thought.
- Please don't get your brother sick.
- Or your father.
- Shoot, or ME [4].
- This is going to be a long day.
- Or three.
- I do think her sneeze is adorable though.
Image Source: YouTube user Kyoot Kids [5]
- Oh, you sneezed on my neck.
- Not surprisingly, that was anything but adorable.
- How long is it going to take to teach a 2-year-old to sneeze into the crook of her arm?
- I guess you're not going to nursery school today.
- I guess I'm not going to work today.
- Let's relax and rest up since you're not feeling well.
- What do you mean you want to play with Play-Doh?
- I can't disinfect Play-Doh when you're done with it, so no.
- Wait, I hate the Play-Doh, and now it will be ruined!
- Alright, Play-Doh it is.
- Oh come on, kid, sneeze into your arm!
Image Source: NBC [6]
- That goes for coughing too!
- There aren't enough Clorox wipes in the world for this day.
- Wait, did I ever call the school?
- Here's a tissue, wipe that —
- NO. My sleeve is NOT a tissue!
- Looks like I'll be doing several loads of laundry today.
- Look! There's Paw Patrol on the DVR, let's watch some of that.
- (And nap?)
- Please let her nap. Pleasepleaseplease.
- She must be the only child who can be wide awake while this sick.
- The remote is not a tissue either!
Image Source: NBC [7]
- Let's have some lunch.
- You're not hungry at all?
- Alright, well, maybe just a string cheese before you take medicine?
- No, ice cream is not the same as string cheese.
- Ew, this medicine smells disgusting.
- Don't let her see you gag.
- OK, let's take a sip of this delicious "cherry" cough medicine!
- Please swallow that.
- No, don't spit it out!
- Please —
Image Source: Warner Bros. [8]
- It's alright, I was thinking of Jackson Pollock-ing our stark white kitchen floor anyway.
- Why did we put a white floor in here?
- Ah right, we didn't have kids back then.
- Yes, that is a mess, thank you for letting me know you made it.
- Let me just clean this up really quick.
- You don't look so great, kid.
- Well, that went from zero to 60 in about three seconds.
- Let me mop up this puke while you sit on the couch.
- OK, the kitchen is finally clean. Ish.
- You finally look sleepy, let's snuggle for a little bit.
- I'm feeling pretty exhausted myself.
- Wow, that was a big sneeze.
- I didn't sneeze into the crook of my arm — must make a note to self to set a better example.
- Oh gosh, I just sneezed.
- And I feel a little nauseated, come to think of it.
- And I'm hearing things . . . wait, that's my phone!
- Ugh, the ringing is going to wake her up!
- My other kid just threw up in school, great.
- It's happening.
- It's the family flu-pocalypse.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures [9]
- See you on the other side, world.