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Tori Spelling Blog on Kids Sleeping With Parents

Tori Spelling Asks: Do Kids Belong in Mama's Bed?

We're happy to share a new post from ediTORIal by Tori Spelling, Tori's daily blog about everything from food and fashion to parenting and relationships. This week, Tori asks for advice on children in the master bedroom.

When it comes to the bedroom, I say the more the merrier . . . No, this is not taking a turn for the obscene; I'm talking piling the whole family — chickens included — into the bed.

I've already shared my love of TV time in the bedroom, but now Dean and I are onto another debate: whether or not kids and furry family members in the bed create a boundary between us.

Related: When to Discuss Religion With Kids

Not surprisingly, I love having the kids in our bed to cuddle, and I think the bigger the bed, the better! Dean, on the other hand, wants to up the romance and downsize us to a queen bed! He even put down blue tape on our current bed to show me the size of a queen vs. king. In his defense, we actually did have a queen bed in the beginning, honeymoon phase of our relationship, so I can see why he'd associate that with romance. But now that we have three kids jumping in and out of our sheets that would never work!

Right now, our usual routine is to let the kids fall asleep in our bed, and then move them to their own rooms. So here's my question for you: do you ever let your kids sleep in your bed? What are your bedroom boundaries? And, does a smaller bed equal more hanky panky?

Weigh in on this topic in the comments below!

More great articles from Tori Spelling:
Foodista: Pudding Parade
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Love Ever After
Baby Makes 6!
To Juice or Not to Juice

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robinepowell robinepowell 4 years
When it comes to bedtime, kids should sleep in their own bed.  It's another thing if they wake up in the middle of the night with a bad dream and climb into bed.  Have TV time on the couch, before bedtime, then put the kids in their own bed.  Otherwise they'll never learn to sleep in their own bed until they're about ten years old.   There are other times of the day (after homework) when you guys can watch TV or cuddle with the kids.
lickety-split lickety-split 4 years
i'm NOT a fan of the family bed.   our kids have double beds, so if they need me in there (sick) i can slep with them. when they were little there were lots of times when one of the kids would be in bed because of a bad dream, and then another one would come in, and then another.... it was a real romance killer, but it was convenient. they are sort of "active" sleepers though, so really, no one was vey rested.  when the youngest started kindergarten, we made a big push to get everyone back to sleeping in their own rooms, in their own beds.  but our kids are close together (3 in 3 years), so i'm not sure you could really do that.  if its an issue for your husband, its an issue for you.  maybe certain nights are grownup ONLY nights(??)
Kellylu Kellylu 4 years
I think that allowing children to share the bed makes them feel secure, cozy, and helps foster physical and emotional development. Studies actuall show that children who co-sleep suffer less phobias and we are one of the few cultures that do not routinely co-sleep with our children. Our daughter is 5 and has slept with us since she was big enought to safely do so (around 6 months old). Prior to that she slept at the bedside in a cosleepter. Our son is 8 months and now sleeps with us too. We wouldn't have it any other way. Our daughter has her own room and bed and every so often chooses to sleep in there so she has options. As far as killing the romance, there's ways to get creative with other times, places, etc other than just in the bed at night ;) At the end of the day, as with many parenting choices, you have to just do what feels right to you.
CindyBrady CindyBrady 4 years
We share our bed with our 3yr old, it works out great.  We only have the one bed, so if she's asleep in it, we have the couch, the floors, the wall, etc. However, sometimes she'll nap on the couch and we get the bed! (Reminds us that the bed is awesome to have at least sometimes!) We don't have a TV or computer in our bedroom, so if we want some visual stim, we aren't going to find in there anyway. I've actually started to think that in a way, we've liberated the house for 'romance' while she's asleep, tucked nicely away in our bedroom!   I think that the family intimacy is so dynamic and enhanced by sharing a family bed that rethinking couple-intimacy and how/when you find it is beneficial to the family as a whole unit.  Adults can take the responsibility of finding ways to meet their needs without compromising the needs of the family or it's individual's.
CindyBrady CindyBrady 4 years
We share our bed with our 3yr old, it works out great.  We only have the one bed, so if she's asleep in it, we have the couch, the floors, the wall, etc. However, sometimes she'll nap on the couch and we get the bed! (Reminds us that the bed is awesome to have at least sometimes!) We don't have a TV or computer in our bedroom, so if we want some visual stim, we aren't going to find in there anyway.   I've actually started to think that in a way, we've liberated the house for 'romance' while she's asleep, tucked nicely away in our bedroom!I think that the family intimacy is so dynamic and enhanced by sharing a family bed that rethinking couple-intimacy and how/when you find it is beneficial to the family as a whole unit.  Adults can take the responsibility of finding ways to meet their needs without compromising the needs of the family or it's individual's.
CindyBrady CindyBrady 4 years
We share our bed with our 3yr old, it works out great.  We only have the one bed, so if she's asleep in it, we have the couch, the floors, the wall, etc. However, sometimes she'll nap on the couch and we get the bed! (Reminds us that the bed is awesome to have at least sometimes!) We don't have a TV or computer in our bedroom, so if we want some visual stim, we aren't going to find in there anyway. I've actually started to think that in a way, we've liberated the house for 'romance' while she's asleep, tucked nicely away in our bedroom!I think that the family intimacy is so dynamic and enhanced by sharing a family bed that rethinking couple-intimacy and how/when you find it is beneficial to the family as a whole unit.  Adults can take the responsibility of finding ways to meet their needs without compromising the needs of the family or it's individual's.
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