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Treatment of Unplanned Pregnancies

Study Says Surprise Pregnancy Children Are Treated Different

Mothers can study birth control options, monitor their cycles and try to carefully map out family expansion, but surprise pregnancies still happen.

Though most parents joke about it later, a new study in the journal of Child Development reveals that unexpected babies – both those that weren't planned at all and those that did not occur when their parents expected them – receive "fewer resources than intended siblings," including parental support and learning materials like books and puzzles.  The study goes on to say that "Parents’ stress and lack of patience may be directed explicitly toward an unwanted child."

Would an unplanned pregnancy alter your treatment of that offspring?

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emcamm emcamm 5 years
I actually think that I spend more quality time with my "surprize" baby than I did with my first who was planned. Mostly in part because there is a 7 year difference and I've grown a lot as a person/Mother.
dani17731 dani17731 6 years
I think there are a lot of factors that contribute to whether or not the child is treated differently, most important being money and the state of the parents relationship. If a family is struggling financially or the parents are not really together/in the process of breaking up, I would bet the child would be treated differently, because I've seen it many times.
dani17731 dani17731 6 years
I think there are a lot of factors that contribute to whether or not the child is treated differently, most important being money and the state of the parents relationship. If a family is struggling financially or the parents are not really together/in the process of breaking up, I would bet the child would be treated differently, because I've seen it many times.
careyjr3 careyjr3 7 years
That's the stupidest crap I've ever heard. These people should be researching more important things in life, like AIDS, and Cancer.
kty kty 7 years
this study shock me....my son was unplanned but his dad and i took it in stride and love him dearly,he doesn't lack for anything,we buy him whatever.
Happsmjc Happsmjc 7 years
OMG danni99, good luck with the rest of your pregnancy...i can't imagine not only being pregnant but being due during the bar exam! GOOD LUCK!! i hope everything works out!
cherrygirl143 cherrygirl143 7 years
Heck no! My last one, our forth, was not planned at all! I was shocked and even cried about it at first but he has been a complete joy and gets whatever he wants cuz he is the baby! He was just the addition our family needed!
luckyme luckyme 7 years
Hmmm...I think "surprise baby" and "unwanted child" carry different meanings yet are used interchangeably above... Anyway, both of our pregnancies have been surprises. The first being a HUGE surprise and the second happening just a few months before we intended. I can't really say if I treat the second one any differently than the first yet because she's dragging her feet on getting here, but I can tell you that we DO NOT slight our first daughter in the least. And frankly, I find it appalling that anyone would do this. How is it the child's fault that you bring them into this world? This is one of those things that I just can't wrap my head around.
luckyme luckyme 7 years
Hmmm...I think "surprise baby" and "unwanted child" carry different meanings yet are used interchangeably above...Anyway, both of our pregnancies have been surprises. The first being a HUGE surprise and the second happening just a few months before we intended. I can't really say if I treat the second one any differently than the first yet because she's dragging her feet on getting here, but I can tell you that we DO NOT slight our first daughter in the least. And frankly, I find it appalling that anyone would do this. How is it the child's fault that you bring them into this world? This is one of those things that I just can't wrap my head around.
queenegg queenegg 7 years
Granted I'm just starting in our planned surprise pregnancy ("we pulled the goalie," as he likes to say) I can't imagine not loving this baby and doing everything for him/her. bluepuppy, I understand the depression though. I'm so sick I just wonder if I can really do this. Good luck. I'm sure that it'll change, but if it doesn't, talk to your doctor. I think I'm going to mention it at my next one.
queenegg queenegg 7 years
Granted I'm just starting in our planned surprise pregnancy ("we pulled the goalie," as he likes to say) I can't imagine not loving this baby and doing everything for him/her.bluepuppy, I understand the depression though. I'm so sick I just wonder if I can really do this. Good luck. I'm sure that it'll change, but if it doesn't, talk to your doctor. I think I'm going to mention it at my next one.
Danni99 Danni99 7 years
I am a number of weeks away from delivering my "unplanned pregnancy." I thought I was done having kids, I got pregnant during my last year of law school despite diligently using birth control, and I am due the very week of the bar exam. It has been a high risk and complicated pregnancy. Under all of these circumstances, one could easily buy into that study's results. That being said, this baby has become the joy of our family. A gift to my husband and I that we had no idea we would be getting. A cherished toy for my older kids who had been told for years there would be no more siblings. We are, and will continue to be, light years more solvent financially and timewise than we were when our older kids were young. I'd wager an estimation that this child will have all that our older kids have had, and more. My husband was also a surprise 11 years after his mother thought she was done, and he was the pride and joy of their entire family.
Danni99 Danni99 7 years
I am a number of weeks away from delivering my "unplanned pregnancy." I thought I was done having kids, I got pregnant during my last year of law school despite diligently using birth control, and I am due the very week of the bar exam. It has been a high risk and complicated pregnancy. Under all of these circumstances, one could easily buy into that study's results. That being said, this baby has become the joy of our family. A gift to my husband and I that we had no idea we would be getting. A cherished toy for my older kids who had been told for years there would be no more siblings. We are, and will continue to be, light years more solvent financially and timewise than we were when our older kids were young. I'd wager an estimation that this child will have all that our older kids have had, and more. My husband was also a surprise 11 years after his mother thought she was done, and he was the pride and joy of their entire family.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 7 years
This is funny to me because our first was a complete surprise, and even though we were totally not ready to be parents and go down that road, we embraced it. I was so excited and love my little girl. With baby #2 we planned, though because (I hope anyways) I am having depression with this pregnancy, I really have no attachment. I keep hoping my maternal instincts will kick in and I will embrace this child the same way.
Lyngay Lyngay 7 years
Wow, I suppose that can happen in some families, but that hasn't been my experience! 2 out of 3 of my mom's children (me and my sister) were unplanned and I never noticed any difference in how we were treated. Hell, if anything, I think my mom babied us more. Maybe to "prove" that we weren't unwanted? Silly because I never felt unwanted for a minute. My daughter was a huge surprise and it certainly hasn't always been easy, but I can't imagine loving a planned baby any more. I love that kid like no other, I loved her since the moment I had my first u/s at 6 weeks (to confirm, omgwtf, am I really pg???!)That makes me sad, that anyone could treat their child differently just because s/he wasn't planned.
Lyngay Lyngay 7 years
Wow, I suppose that can happen in some families, but that hasn't been my experience! 2 out of 3 of my mom's children (me and my sister) were unplanned and I never noticed any difference in how we were treated. Hell, if anything, I think my mom babied us more. Maybe to "prove" that we weren't unwanted? Silly because I never felt unwanted for a minute. My daughter was a huge surprise and it certainly hasn't always been easy, but I can't imagine loving a planned baby any more. I love that kid like no other, I loved her since the moment I had my first u/s at 6 weeks (to confirm, omgwtf, am I really pg???!) That makes me sad, that anyone could treat their child differently just because s/he wasn't planned.
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