I love and adore my mother and she is my greatest ally as a mom, but whenever I share my experiences about parenting she over personalizes and identifies with them. She is a fantastic mother and a serious contender for the world's greatest grandma award, but she can't listen to my conundrums without reminding me (in exhausting and antiquated detail) what it was like when she was a mother to two little children. I'll call her scared about my son's fever and she'll go on about the time my brother had pneumonia and was hospitalized, or I'll tell her how I feel when my husband crosses my rules with the kids and she'll launch into stories about my dad. There's no doubt I require and appreciate her stories, knowledge and support, but I've told her numerous times I need her advice in the moment for my current situation. I need guidance for my life and yes, I want to learn from her experience, but I can't help but get frustrated when she over-identifies with my concerns instead of helping me with the problem at hand. How do I help her take off the mommy cap and put on the grandma cap where she can live in the moment with me and my family (and not seem completely insensitive)?
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