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What Nobody Told Me About the Terrible Twos

What Nobody Told Me About the Terrible Twos

The terrible twos have struck in my household, and they have struck hard. As a mom of two, one would think that I would already have experience in this department but, believe it or not, it has taken me completely by surprise. My eldest has high-functioning autism and, while she had her own type of "fits" fairly often, we were busy with occupational and speech therapy throughout the terrible twos and somehow managed to dodge them completely. My son, though...my son might be the death of me. 

See, all the stories I've ever heard about the terrible twos were of fits of rage, tantrums, and ungodly screaming. We have a bit of that, here and there, but what no one bothered to warn me of is the manipulation. No one thought to tell me, "Oh, by the way, age two is when the sass and smirk appear!" But, they do. And, they work. Even more importantly, my son knows they works. 

When he gets into trouble for coloring on his face with a mysteriously reappearing marker for the thirtieth time in a day, he doesn't throw himself on the floor wailing. Either he, Mother Nature, or some other heavenly being has decided I'm much too prepared for fits. Instead, I get onto him, and he lowers his little face, looks up at me out of the top of his eyes...and just stares at me with this irresistable smirk

When I tell him that it's bedtime, he doesn't kick and scream as I carry him across the house. He simply collapses face first on the floor, with a grin, and refuses to budge. I have to carry him and his completely limp dead weight all the way to the bedroom, while he looks at me with those smiling eyes. 

Earlier today, I said, "I love you son, but you're driving me crazy!" He simply giggled and said, "Otay." He's climbing furniture, getting into drawers, coloring on walls, and tearing every single wipe out of the container just to watch them float to the ground. 

 

While I know none of it is malicious, and I should probably be thankful, I'm still having a hard time admitting that I am being defeated by a two-year-old — a happy jokester of a two-year-old who knows his charm and good looks will get him out of anything and uses it to the best of his ability.  I can just hear his little wheels turning when he gets into trouble, thinking, "Just make Mommy crack a smile, then she's done for." How do you discipline a child when you can't even keep a straight face? 

I will not let this toddler defeat me. He doesn't actually turn two until March, so I have plenty of time to figure this out...right?  For now, I will lock myself in the bathroom and meditate while taking a long, hot bath. Without bubbles, of course...he used those to "wash" the floor. 

Image Source: Photo by Shai Smith

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

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JenniferCampbell22240 JenniferCampbell22240 3 years
Thank you so much for posting this article! I have been wondering if I was the only one going through this! My son has mastered the "smirk" as well. He also knows how to charm his way out of anything. And you are right, it is really hard to discipline him while I can't stop laughing at him! I know that I need to get ahold of myself and stick to the punishments because I don't want him to treat others like he does me, but it is so hard! I remember before I had children of my own, making those ignorant comments myself about how mothers need to control their children and not allow them to act certain ways. Thinking back on that makes me feel like an idiot! You really just have NO IDEA until you have dealt with a toddler of your own! My son acts out so much that I feel like if I punished him for every little thing, I would spend our entire day punishing! I know that this is only a phase, so rather then punishing him all day, I choose my battles, and just try to love the mean-ness out of him!
EmeraldBrewer EmeraldBrewer 3 years
Watch the Super Nanny, shes quite helpful! & remember, to be a successful parent, one has to have a heap of patience & a sense of humour :)
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