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What to Tell Who Ask If You're a Mother

How Can I Fend Off People Who Ask If I'm a Mom?

This post was submitted by an anonymous member in our A Place to Vent group.

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. It's been a beautiful, hopeful, but upsetting process. Our hopes are set so high, but it just hasn't worked out yet. I had a miscarriage right before the holidays so we've decided to take a few months off while we both heal and prepare to try again. My doctor is completely optimistic, as are hubby and I, that it will eventually happen because all our test results look good. All in all, I'm really proud of myself and how positive I've stayed throughout this journey and know that a baby — whether a biological child or adopted — awaits us. Our close friends and family all know most of the details and have remained supportive and upbeat. I couldn't ask for a better support system. Here's where it gets complicated: For whatever reason strangers have started asking me if I'm a mom, which has caused me to burst into tears twice in the past few weeks.

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Not the answer they expected when they asked the question, I am sure. I am also sure most people understand how loaded that question can be for women trying to get pregnant, but what's the appropriate response if I start balling when asked? Last time I said "not yet" and was asked follow up questions, which I am just not ready to answer. I know I have every right to just walk away, but I don't want to be a mess about it.

Overwhelmed by a pregnancy or parenting dilemma, fussy eater, crying baby, fighting tots, overbearing in-laws and competitive parents? Start venting in our anonymous group, A Place to Vent and share your stress with fellow moms who understand your plight.

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