Inappropriate humor has taken over my household. I used to think that having a boy and two girls would negate such talk, since my son wouldn’t have anyone to really bond with over the potty talk little boys find so amusing. But it’s actually my middle daughter, Emmie, who is leading the charge on this lately.
At 3.5 years old, she’s all about making her older brother laugh. And at 5.5 years old, Jack thinks there’s nothing funnier than to burp out loud or talk about poop. Usually at the dinner table.
So I have one kid belching like a frat boy, and another who makes what she thinks sounds like burping noises but really just involve her making a growling noise in her throat. And God forbid the 20-month-old, Maeve, is being ignored for a second. Once the other two get going, she starts spitting in her high chair, which makes both of her siblings laugh like hyenas.
Emily Post would be horrified at the dinner table antics in my home.
They also love to call each other names now and just last week, when she was mad about being given a timeout, Emmie yelled at me, “You’re a poopy vagina butt!” Well then. I guess that’s about the ultimate 3-year-old put-down. One that earned her an extra-special timeout extension.
We’ve also entered the stage where Jack thinks it’s funny to egg his sister on to do something he clearly knows is wrong, just to watch her get in trouble. Which is how it came to be that my 3-year-old mooned us all over a lovely meal of chicken tacos last week.
I was in the kitchen getting milk for the kids, when I heard him whispering and giggling. Next thing I knew, she stood up in her chair, pulled down her shorts and Cinderella underwear and laughed hysterically.
“Look at my butt, Mommy!” she yelled.
Jack literally fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard. But really, his butt leaves his seat so often during mealtime that it wasn't really a surprise to see him lying on the floor. I can tell you our reward chart now has a spot with the title “No showing your butt to other people.” Even sadder is that fact she got only one sticker in that spot over the last seven days.
Currently trying to make it through summer vacation without losing any of her three children or her mind, Snarky Mommy has only been half-successful. You guess which half. You can follow her parenting adventures on her blog, SnarkyMommy.com, Twitter and Facebook.
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