Circle of Moms member Sara D.'s husband doesn't like the fact that she wears lounge clothes all day. The stay-at home mom says he'd prefer her to be in "a cute dress with my hair all done" when he arrives home. But Sara's reluctant: "I just don't see the point in getting dressed up to stay at home. I have a 7-month-old, and every day I clean and/or do laundry, dishes, cooking, baking, workouts, etc. Am I the only one who doesn't feel the need to look like a beauty queen every day?"
Dressing for the Mom Job
She is so far from alone that some of the Circle of Mom members who responded to her question say they have sweats in every color. They explain that their job is to be mom, not a fashionista, and that their clothes need to be soft, comfy, and low maintenance. "I am a stay-at-home mom and all I wear are comfy PJs and T-shirts...The only time I ever get dressed up is when I am going somewhere," says Casey K. Nikki A. also insists on sweat suits. "You dress for the job and our jobs are dirty, sticky, busy jobs. You wouldn't catch garbage men wearing 3-piece suits so why should we look like we stepped out of a magazine? I wear sweats and T-shirts. Some days we have PJ day just for fun."
Still, while yoga pants or sweats and t-shirts are a popular uniform for many stay-at-home moms, ever practical for mopping up throw-up, changing diapers, and chasing kids around a playground, some Circle of Moms members suggest that it pays to be a quick change artist before their hubbies walk in the door.
Should You Dress Up for Your Spouse?
Others Circle of Moms members say that sweats are frumpy style "misses" that can kill all the romance in a marriage. "Sweats are not sexy at all," says Lyndsay M. "My hubby still makes the attempt to tell me I'm sexy when I'm wearing them, and I'm like hahaha yeahh right!"
Ditch the sweats, save the marriage is the mantra of stay-at-home mom of three Caitlin G.: "I usually stay in comfy clothes pretty much all day, but the last hour before my husband comes home from work I pick up the house so it looks presentable, sit the kids down for a snack so I can put on at the least clean clothes (with no spit up on them), and maybe dab on some mascara if I can get it all in."
As if in anticipation of criticism, she explains that "Marriage is all about compromises and making your partner happy. If he would be thrilled if you wore some cute jeans and a nice T-shirt, that's not a lot of effort to put into making him happy. Now, I'm not perfect, when I'm tired or having a crappy day I stay in my pajamas all day, but if I'm feeling up to it I always try to look like I put in a little effort when my husband comes home from working all day."
Amber N. and many others like to strike a compromise: "Sweat pants have their time and place, but in a relationship you should try to look sexy for your spouse. Does that mean everyday you need to get dressed up? No, but I do think you should try to wow them sometimes. Let them know that you appreciate them and they are worth your effort. It's more about giving them a little eye candy than never wearing sweats though." And many other Circle of Moms members say even though their typical weekday uniform is a zipped hoodie and fleece pants, they occasionally go for a killer look before their husbands walk through the door. "There are a lot of days that I don't get dressed, but on the other hand I try to make a point to get dressed nice for my husband every once in awhile," says Veronica H.
Still others say though that the idea of swapping the sweats is a throwback to a June Cleaver, 1950's mentality. "My husband understands and loves me and tells me how beautiful I am no matter how I am dressed," says Casey K. And Darla R. asks, "Does your hubby come home and change in to something comfortable? "Why would he expect you to dress up five minutes before he gets home only to change back in to your comfies after your baby goes down? If only he could walk a day in your shoes, he should totally understand why you aren't going to wear your nice clothes when you are cleaning, changing diapers, picking up stuff all day long. It's just an ignorant request for a husband to expect that if you ask me."
Dressing Up...For Yourself
But some Circle of Moms members say that there's a much better reason for ditching the casual attire: to boost their own moods. As Martha S. explains, "I have found that if I get dressed and look presentable I feel better. I am more motivated to do stuff and don't feel quite so home-bound. I have been struggling with feeling locked in at my house. It seems like I do the same stuff everyday - dishes, laundry, cleaning and baby stuff. This way I feel part of life, rather than a home body. I don't dress up or anything like that, but I do put jeans on and feel presentable."
And Renae K. says, "I have recently tried to find a new ‘look' for myself, somewhere between a dressed and lounge clothes - a happy medium, kind of smart casual. "It's so I don't always look like I just rolled out of bed. And I have recently decided to do a little makeup - just a quick fix up - even if I am staying home. It does make you feel better."
Even Caitlin G., who advocates dressing up for her husband's return at the end of the day, says that she too feels better "when I look cute instead of sloppy."
Do you change and put on makeup at the end of a day?
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.