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Women With Pregnancy Remorse

Mom-to-Be Panic: Did You Experience Pregnancy Remorse?

There are "aha!" moments and there are "What did I just do?" ones. Parenthood is full of both. The prospect of becoming a mother can make a lady anxious. In response to a recent post about women who have IVF and then abort, an anonymous commenter said:

I was really excited to get pregnant and then when I realized I was, I was suddenly like, "Oh no, what did I just do!? My life is over now!" but that's actually a fairly normal reaction I found out, and once the news had time to set it I started getting excited again. I wonder if some of these women just panicked? But I also agree with above posters that I doubt this is a very statistically significant number of women to begin with.

The remorseful moment can be fleeting and the mom-to-be may embrace her new role. Did you experience any of these feelings while with child?

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FrankiLee FrankiLee 5 years
My daughter wasn't planned either, and so I definitely felt remorse. It would fluctuate -- I was happy, then couldn't believe I was actually going through with it, then I would be excited, etc. When my daughter was born it was such a mix of happiness and oh my gosh, how am I going to DO THIS? I glided through the newborn/infant stage pretty well, and now that the toddler stage has set in, I feel remorse every once in a while, lol. I can never imagine life without my little girl now, but there are some moments when I, like others on here, feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising a human being to be productive and happy in this world.
MissSushi MissSushi 5 years
I didn't with the first at all. I kind of glided through like nothing was differnet. My husband on the other hand lol... he was totally unprepared mentally. With my second, in the last few months when I could hardly breathe, sneezing and coughing was constant (and hazardous) and my 2 year old was running absolutely rampant causing my baby preperations to be stalled and take forever, thats when panic set in. I wondered why on EARTH i wanted two kids and how i was ever going to manage it. I think its easy to get really overwhelmed in the last few months because of the impending responsibility mingled with your insane discomfort. You just can't hardly manage anything, little tasks like picking up a room or running errends and getting in and out of your car over and over take so much effort, you're always sore, you're sleeping like crap, and you have so much to think about. After I had the baby, i felt SO insanely good. Like i was a new person, like i'd been pregnant for 50 years and lost hundreds of pounds. It was fantastic, lol.
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years
My pregnancy was a surprise, so obviously I felt remorse at times. I think it's normal for the panic mode to kick in when you're facing this big change in your life. Now it's more like what Girl Jen described. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility to prepare her for this world. It's so tough out there. I see a lot in today's youth that I don't want for her and that I want to shield her from. And then I realize I can't! I objected her to all of this! Why did I bring a child into this world? And then she smiles and I know it's going to be okay!
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
Congrats to both of you! My daughter is three years old. I had quite a few moments of panic and remorse, even though she was planned, and even though I had a stable home and plenty of money at the time. They were just like runningesq described! I still have moments--like this morning when I saw the two 13-year-old girls with day-glo makeup and thongs peeking out of their jeans--when I wonder, "What have I done?! Who decided that I'm qualified enough to raise the next generation of woman? HELP!"
runningesq runningesq 5 years
I don't think panic or remorse is the right word, but I'm 23 weeks and sometimes I think "oh my god, in October - THIS OCTOBER - there is going to be a baby in our house. A baby we are totally and completely responsible for." It's a little overwhelming at times! Anon, congrats !
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