- Sleep in as late as possible. This really baffles owners at first but then puts them in a sense of amazement and happiness. You can really catch them off guard then.
- When you finally do awake, startle our slaves person however you think will do the trick (barking, pouncing, snorkeling under the covers with your cold wet nose, chewbacca and sing long songs). However, my personal favorite is getting as close to the face as possible and staring the person down until they feel this horrible sensation that someone is watching them and suddenly jolt up paranoid. Any one of those (though effective) is a terrible way to wake up but the last tops the cake and is the most fun.
- Pretend to look at something out the window as if it made a horrible noise and woke everyone up. Look surprised and innocent that they are awake and joyfully prance down the stairs cause you got our way see your person is awake and proceed to pick up the leash and carry it to said person indicating "take me to the bathroom now." No sense of urgency is needed here as the people of the house know full well that I could just go but I'm nice and I ask permission first. At least in this I hold the power.
- Take the person of the house outside where it's freezing. Now this is my favorite part, smell every single flower or leaf you can find. I actually really do love this about mornings but seeing your person prance about shivering saying things that don't sound like they are nice words is much more rewarding. Relieve yourself but only a tiny bit so that owner thinks you have done your business as they say blah blah blah good girl blah blah and drag you back in the house.
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