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Joined 6 years ago
skinnyforme

My name is Stephanie, but everyone calls me by my nickname, Kittie. I'm an American born Chinese, I'm about 5"2', I have brown eyes, I'm a natural brunette and I absolutely adore CATS! [hence the nickname] Ever since I was little, I've always had issues with my body image. I went through puberty at the age of 8½/9 years old and it was pretty rough on me. The way I look now is basically how I looked in 5th grade. I always felt out of place, people would make fun of me because I was bigger, taller, had boobs, ass.. etc.. I distinctly remember a girl saying this, "I weigh about 85lbs, how much do you weigh?" I replied, "I weigh 110lbs." She says, "Whoa, you're fat." This is in the 5th grade. I'm 9 years old. That stuck with me till this day. Middle school was hell, because I was still the fat girl and that was the time I reached my highest weight of 140lbs. YES, 140lbs in the 7th grade. I don't remember how I felt but all I know is that I was always unhappy. A few years later, high school rolls around and I'm in a relationship with this guy for 1½ years. One day he blurted, "You've been gaining weight, Can you please lose some weight because I'm not as sexually attracted to you as I was when I first met you." I was mortified. I dumped him. This is where my eating disorder finally came out. In high school I lost friends, went through terrible relationships, my eating disorder and cutting habits ran my life. I was hospitalized 4 times in high school, one for cutting and the other three for anorexia & bulimia. My life has been hell for years. It's not soo much about life anymore but more of a survival against my eating disorder. It's been over 6 years of recovery and I wish I could just get better NOW. ♥kittie

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