I've been unemployed for a couple months and am trying to stay positive, but I find it difficult when my best friend constantly talks about how busy she is at work. It's the first thing out of her mouth every time we talk, and it seems like her job is all she wants to talk about. I'm typically very supportive of her career, but she's bringing up her job more than ever at a time when I'm working my butt off trying to find a job that will pay the bills. Any advice for how I can give her the hint to pipe it down, without offending her?
Savvy says: There are so many people without jobs right now that I doubt you're alone in this situation. It can be hard enough to turn down invitations when your employed friends want to go out and you can't spend the money, and you don't want to be reminded of your misfortune whenever you want to chat with your best friend. See my advice when you
Firstly, step back and ask yourself if your friend is really talking about her job more than usual, or if you're just noticing it more because it hits a sore spot. It's important for your friendship to acknowledge if she's really just being her same old self, because that should help reduce your bitterness toward what seems like a relentless reminder of your unemployment.
Regardless of whether she's focusing more on work conversations than usual, the fact remains that you're unhappy when the two of you talk. It sounds like she's better at talking than listening, so take a note from your friend and volunteer some details about the way your job search is going and how hard you're working trying to find a job. Your honesty should remind her to be a little more sensitive toward you.
Bottom line, this girl is your best friend and you should be able to speak up if you feel like she could be more sensitive about your situation. Tell her you still want to be the first person she calls when something good (or frustrating) happens at the office, but for now it would help your state of mind if she didn't go through a play-by-play of what happened at the office.