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Can't Afford to Attend the Bachelorette Party

Ask a Savvy Bride: I Can't Afford the Bachelorette Party

Have you ever been asked to attend a bachelorette party that is out of your price range? If so, offer up your advice to soonerviola who's stuck in the same predicament. And if you have any questions of your own, ask them in the Ask Savvy group!

I am being asked to participate in my sister-in-law-to-be's bachelorette party. Her maid of honor has planned the entire night which has a price tag at this point of over $200 for the night plus paying for the bride. I was not invited to participate in the wedding at all so I am a guest at my only sibling's wedding. Is there a way that I can just say no? I don't want to participate and I do not have the funds to pay over $200 in one night. What is a legitimate, polite way to say that I won't be coming?

To see what a savvy bride has to say about this, keep reading after the jump.

Savvy bride says:

Yes,  a very polite "no" would be completely acceptable. Be sure to express a ton of gratitude about how they thought of you and how excited you are for the wedding itself. Tell them that although you'd love to be there, spending that much money just isn't in your cards right now. If you are skipping the party altogether, perhaps find out where they will be staying or which restaurant they are going to and see if you can leave a gift basket or send a bottle of wine.

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

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lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
I agree; you can absolutely say no. If you really want to participate since she is your future family, you could try to find a way to participate in one portion. (Of course, this isn't possible if the party is being held far away, etc., but if, say, they are doing dinner, a show, drinks, etc., etc., you could just go to dinner.)
Deidre Deidre 5 years
You can absolutely say no. Completely agree with Debbie, just be polite and vague (no one's going to press you for specific reasons!). If you want to show a little goodwill (she is your future family, after all), you can always send her a little gift. A cute nightie or 4 pack of mini-cans of Sofia sparkling wine are a lot less expensive, but still very apropos for the occasion.
Debbie5113 Debbie5113 5 years
You are not obligated to participate in anything you don't want to. You can just express your polite regrets that unfortunately you will not be able to attend without offering a specific reason. Or you can say be a bit more vague and say that sadly you won't be available to attend. Or you can be more straightforward and tell them that you can't attend because you just can't afford it right now. Politely saying no is just fine regardless of how many details you prefer to provide.
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