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How to Talk About Unemployment With Friends

Savvy Confessions: Friends Aren't Understanding About My Unemployment

This reader posted in our anonymous Savvy Confessions group, venting about how her friends aren't being sensitive about her unemployment situation. Do you have any advice for her?

Most of my friends are employed and well, I'm not. It's taking a bit of a toll on me when I have to listen to them complain about something minor about their jobs. As of right now, I'd do anything to have a job. I don't know if I'm being a debbie downer, but their complaints kind of eat away at me and I try to be supportive to them, but it's getting to the point where I'm sick of hearing them. Am I overreacting or should they be more sensitive and not moan about their jobs?

Pose your own anonymous questions or off-load your work confessions by posting in the Savvy Confessions group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

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dashsuede dashsuede 4 years
Just say you don't want to talk about work because it's depressing because you don't have a job. If they're your friend they will understand, and I'm sure they can find someone else to vent to.
jenjen82 jenjen82 4 years
I know where your coming from! 3 years of unemployment or underemployment took its toll in me big time! I just recently got a job that pays $9.00 an hour when my old career was $30 an hour and guess what, I'm so happy just to have anything! You could say something like "Hey at least you have a job." when they complain. Give them a little perspective. Keep your chin up, and good luck on your job search!!
agasp agasp 4 years
I was in a similar situation I had a work colleague that I developed a close relationship with since we started at the same company together and left our previous employer together. Long story short, she had complained to me about receiving a comparatively low pay raise about a month after I was fired from the firm. This was a text message convo, not an in-person chat. To say the least I felt she was being insensitive -- she was. I never really heard from her during my unemployment. While I don't consider her a "friend" like you might consider your friends, I definitely learned to draw a line between work relationships and personal relationships. I think in your case, you have to realize your friends have problems of their own, and as long as they are willing to support you during your hard times, you should be willing to do the same. They may not understand your situation entirely, but they can provide an audience for you to vent to.
testadura67 testadura67 4 years
Everybody has stressers in their lives. People who aren't parents will have to listen to their friends who have kids complain about the stresses of parenthood. People who are unemployed will have to hear their friends vent about stresses at the workplace. Just like they probably listen to you vent about the stresses of unemployment when I'm sure they'd do anything for a day off. Friends shouldn't have to censor themselves around each other. I think you are probably being a bit oversensitive. But if it's really getting to you, mention it to them. If they're good friends, they'll understand. Just don't expect them to stop talking about work entirely out of deference to your situation.
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