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Is It OK to Bring a New Date to a Destination Wedding?

Ask a Savvy Bride: Can I Ask to Bring a New Date to Wedding?

Wedding etiquette can be tricky. If you have a dilemma like the one below, be sure to ask our Savvy Bride for help in the Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy Bride,

My long-term boyfriend and I just broke up, and to save you the back story, I've found myself in a weird predicament. We have plans to attend one of my girlfriend's wedding in Mexico in less than a month. Obviously, he will no longer be accompanying me, but I don't want to go alone. Since the wedding is just days away, I'm sure his attendance has already been accounted for so do you think it would be OK for me to ask the bride if I can bring another date? I've already paid for a king room and an extra plane ticket and I really don't want all that to go to waste. I'd hate to put her in an awkward position, but it's a destination wedding to a romantic vacation spot and having to go alone is already giving me anxiety. Help!

Suddenly Solo Sadie

To see the Savvy Bride's advice, read more.

Savvy Bride says:

I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup! I can only imagine how stressful this upcoming trip must be for you. While you're no doubt going through a hard time right now, I'm sure your friend is underwater herself finalizing the details of her wedding. I'm not sure about the size of her wedding, her plus-one policy, or the relationship you have, but I would advise you to speak up now before the close countdown to the big day begins.

Since your breakup was with a long-term boyfriend, I'm sure she'll be sensitive about your feelings, so if I were to be a gambling woman I'd bet she'll let you bring a guest. But if she's unwilling to make exceptions, be prepared to go alone. While you might think your ex has already been paid for, some hotels/destination venues present the hostess with a bill at the end of the night in lieu of prepaying.

I hope it all works out in your favor, but if it doesn't, it might be good for you to get away and clear your head, not to mention that weddings are great places to meet new people! Good luck!

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

Photo by Gillett Photography via Style Me Pretty

Image Source: Thinkstock
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lickety-split lickety-split 3 years
seriously?  um yeah, the bride will mind you bringing a total stranger, who means nothing to even you-much less the bride, to one of the most intimate moments of her life.  this isn't a keg party, and money isn't the big issue here.  tacky.  go alone like a big girl. the day isn't about your feelings, its about the bride & groom starting their day with the people THEY love.  if you can't remember that, reconsider going.
beram1220 beram1220 5 years
I can't imagine she would expect you to travel to a destination wedding all alone so I say go for it and ask and hopefully it won't be a problem. If it is a problem for him to join you at the wedding, perhaps he can go with you anyway and just do something fun on his own during the time of the wedding. Then you guys can hang out the rest of the time together.
chloe-bella chloe-bella 5 years
If she already invited you plus a guest (in the form of your ex-bf), it would be rude of her to now revoke her invitation. Plus if she's your friend at all (which hopefully she is), I doubt she would be so insensitive as to say that she wanted your Ex to attend, but not your new bf. If, however, you were never invited with a guest, and the original invite was addressed solely to you, then you probably can't bring anyone.
skigurl skigurl 5 years
I agree with the others...I'd say ask her and be polite and possibly prepared for a no, but I'm sure she'll be happy you're still coming and excited about your new man/date.
danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
I agree with n00dle and running. This is a unique circumstance and bringing a new date would most likely be acceptable, especially since you already paid for the extra plane ticket and the person is accounted for.
runningesq runningesq 5 years
He's already been accounted and paid for -- I don't see the problem with "replacing him"
itsallabouttheg itsallabouttheg 5 years
i don't see why this would be a problem since you're already down for a +1. the most the bride will need to do is change the name on a place card at dinner.
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