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Should I Attend a Destination Wedding Alone or Skip It?

Ask a Savvy Bride: Should I Attend Wedding Alone or Skip?

DigitalChick shared a wedding dilemma in our Ask Savvy group. Since I know she's not the only person who's questioned whether or not attending a destination is worth it, I thought I'd share her question and my answer with all of you.

Savvy,

My friend invited us to her wedding in Vegas in the Summer. My husband said he'd prefer to stay at home with our baby son. It will truly be a hassle to bring the baby to Las Vegas, with the weather and five hour flight one way. We have been to Las Vegas before. So, either I go or none of us will attend her wedding. It will be a small ceremony. I know none of the guests or the groom. This trip will cost $1,000 including the flight, hotel, and a new dress. The 10 hours spent on the plane is no piece of cake as well. Both my and my husband's work is very demanding. I hate to lose several days of spending time with him and my baby. On the other hand, my friend came to my wedding and visited me when my son was born. Of course she lives only an hour from our house. And she invited me to this small ceremony. So what do you say? Should I spend 10 hours on the plane and $1,000 dollars on her wedding? Or send her a big gift and stay at home?

DigitalChick

To see what a savvy bride has to say about this, keep reading after the jump.

Savvy says:

It sounds to me, DigitalChick, that you have your mind made up! While it was a nice gesture that your friend came to see you and your newborn, I wouldn't look at this as a something for something situation. To take down the cost so you could go, I'd suggest you room with someone else and skip the new dress, but since you don't know anyone else invited, that clearly isn't an option.

If you're going to resent the fact that you spent $1,000 and sat on an airplane for 10 hours when you'd rather be home with your husband and baby, I say, without a second thought, don't go. You and your husband can still show your support from afar by sending the couple a nice, affordable gift. Be sure to tell her over the phone that you won't be able to make it but you wish you could be there and hope she has an amazing day. I'm sure she'll understand given the circumstances — I know I would.

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out. If you are planning a wedding, already happily wed, or still looking for Mr. Right, start sharing your big day with our community. Don’t forget to check the wedding content box on your post.

Image Source: Getty
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lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
I understand what the $1,000 covers, but I don't understand why it needs be that much. Assuming the wedding is on a Saturday, she could fly in on Saturday morning, get lunch somewhere cheap, have dinner at the reception Saturday night, get a cheap breakfast on Sunday, and fly back Sunday morning/early afternoon. I don't see why it would cost so much for a roundtrip flight, one night at a hotel, and two inexpensive meals. I guess it's possible that there are no flights at convenient times on Saturday and she has to fly in Friday, which I suppose would add another night, but wouldn't add that much while she's there. Vegas can be expensive, but it can also be extremely inexpensive if you want it to be. Like I said, it's up to the OP to decide whether or not she wants to go. Maybe even $500 would be too much for her, and that's fine. I just think she could probably do the trip for less if she really wanted to go.
Yesi-Jukebox Yesi-Jukebox 5 years
And for those who don't understand.. the trip costs $1,000 for a roundtrip flight, hotel, and a dress plus whatever costs she will incure when she's there. And the 10 hours is also a roundtrip number.
Yesi-Jukebox Yesi-Jukebox 5 years
I think that if she is a close friend she will understand why it is difficult for you to make it to her wedding. Maybe you can offer to take her out for a little celebration when she gets back from her honeymoon.
Spectra Spectra 5 years
I would probably just send a gift and not attend. Weddings aren't really all that great if you are there alone, anyway. I would skip the stress of flying there and all that mess.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years
I'm with insanitypepper. Although, like Savvy, I think there are ways you could reduce the cost if you really want to go. You could stay at a less expensive hotel or really shop around for a cheaper flight. I'm going to Vegas for 4 days in July and my whole trip, including flight and hotel, is only going to be $500. It seems to me like you just don't want to go, which is fine. But, if you really want to go, there are ways you can do it for less money.
runningesq runningesq 5 years
Maybe go to visit your friend AFTER her wedding and honeymoon? That way you can spend some quality time with her (and meet/ get to know her husband).
skigurl skigurl 5 years
use the baby excuse say it's impossible to get a babysitter, you can't take time off work, you can't bring the baby with you etc. (i mean don't gush over this stuff but just say it when you politely decline) and send her a nice gift and either invite her and her new husband for a nice celebratory dinner at your house or go to their town and take them out sometime after the wedding don't feel too bad about it - when you book a wedding that far out of town, you have to understand when people say no
a1stbornunicorn a1stbornunicorn 5 years
How on earth is the flight 10 hours? That must be with significant layover time. If she only lives an hour away and you are set on not going, it would be nice if you could deliver the wedding gift in person beforehand. It would give you a chance to politely tell her the reason why you aren't able to go.
insanitypepper insanitypepper 5 years
Which will you regret more: spending a ridiculous amount of money to go across the country to the wedding of someone who only lives an hour away or missing a good friend's wedding? It's not an easy choice, but you need to make it one you can live with.
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