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Should I Look For a Job Closer to My Boyfriend?

Ask Savvy: Should I Look For a Job Closer to My Boyfriend?

Dear Savvy,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years, and we both just graduated from college and entered the real world. I took a job in Washington State while he's training with the Navy in Florida. I'm not sure that I'm entirely happy with my job, but I'm not sure how much of it is due to the fact that I never get to see my boyfriend. How long I should stick it out before looking for another job closer to my boyfriend?

Savvy says: Long-distance relationships can be really challenging, consuming even, but your blossoming career is a priority, too. Your boyfriend is entering a career path that involves a lot of travel, so even if you move to Florida during his training, you could end up spending long periods of time without him after the training is finished. See my advice when you

.

Talk to your boyfriend about your thoughts of moving closer to him and discuss the pros and cons together. Visit him and get to know the area so you can gauge for yourself whether or not you'd be happy living there — you can't depend on your boyfriend for all of your happiness, especially when his schedule could have him regularly traveling out of the country. Also, you might want to consider waiting to make your decision until he finds out where he's going to be stationed so you're not constantly looking for a new job.

From a career standpoint, it's ideal if you stay in your current job for at least a year. Six months at a job will give you a general sense of whether or not you can see yourself there long-term, but making it to the year mark is important for building your resume. Don't move until you've found a new job — it's a tough market right now and you don't want to add unemployment to the stresses of moving and adopting a new life. Try and stay present in your current job; you may find that you're happier when you're not resenting it for keeping you away from your boyfriend.

Have any of you been in similar situations? What advice would you give?

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Join The Conversation
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
i have too many girlfriends who moved for a man and were broken up with. figure out your relationship before you make any decisions.
pearsbeary pearsbeary 6 years
i agree w/ hatertot...now is a good time to figure out who you are and what you like...especially with a job you can develop hobbies or find new interests that help define who you are apart from the relationship
HaterTot HaterTot 6 years
You both just graduated from college, and you were together that whole time - so since you were what, 18? And now you can't handle being away from him? Since you managed to postpone the whole figuring out who you are on your own thing until after college (most people at least start to figure that out IN college), now seems like the right time to give that whole thing a go. (Along with the whole growing up thing that we adults have embraced allowing us to be at jobs for more than 2 or 3 mos. before whining on the internet that we miss our boyfriends.) Use this time to make a life for YOURSELF and figure out who YOU are. Otherwise, you're going to continue down the codependent path you seem to already be on. If you were older and more world-wise the advice would be different. But you've never been on your own, and you're only 22. You have a lot of growing up (and toughening up) to do. Savvy's advice is good, but I think it's giving you a bit too much credit.
tarabara1229 tarabara1229 6 years
Yep, totally agree with Savvy.
Erika-Giselle Erika-Giselle 6 years
i agree 1000%
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