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Should You Invite Your Boss and Co-Workers to Your Wedding?

Should Your Guest List Include Your Boss and Co-Workers?

Ah, the guest list — something that should be so simple in theory that can often turn into a nightmare of political distress, and is the cause of so many lamenting brides-to-be wishing they could just elope. While the average guest list has 153 names on it, that number doesn't seem so forgiving when you take in to account all of the family and friends whom without your event would feel incomplete. The question of inviting your boss and your co-workers is one that can be tougher to solve than the kid question because of the possible repercussions, and the last thing you want to face when you get back from your honeymoon is to be met with awkwardness at work. To see my take on whether or not office folks should receive a coveted place on your guest list, just

.

It's obvious that you'll invite the friends you've made at work who also serve as friends outside of the office. They know your fiancé's last name, and not just from asking what your new last name will be and if you're going to take it. But just as you have friendly acquaintances that fall into a gray zone in your personal life, there are usually co-workers who also fit this bill of uncertainty. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but your wedding is expensive and the guest list isn't superelastic.

Some jobs are much more political in nature than others, and the higher up you get on the office food chain the more sensitive you'd be to inviting your colleagues. Unless you have these obvious obligations to inviting certain people out of respect for their position and yours, it's OK to only invite those co-workers who you call your friends. This can be trickier if you work in a very small office, but aside from making the effort not to single anyone out as the only person not invited, the general rule still applies. Be aware of those around you once your invitations have been sealed and delivered — you may even want to ask the few invited to keep their invitee status to themselves at work and hold the wedding chatter to a minimum.

Just because someone tells you they're happy for you, it doesn't mean they expect a wedding invitation. It's your (expensive) wedding, and it's a personal affair — remember that while being sensitive to others is a great quality, it doesn't mean you should feel pressured to expand your intimate wedding of close friends and family.

To see all of our wedding season coverage, check out IDoSugar.

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gossipqueen gossipqueen 8 years
I have 5 coworkers...they're all in! ;)
demure20 demure20 8 years
We haven't set any date yet, but by fiancé works for a small family (siblings) based company of around 35 people. He wants to invite a bunch of his coworkers including their wives, gfs and his boss, all of who I have met during holiday work parties. I said it would be a bit rude not to invite his boss’ siblings since my fiancé does have to report to them too…and gets paid by them. So right there are 8 people including their significant others. What was I thinking! Though he had no comment! As for the rest of them, I rather it be just them w/o their partner. It would save us so much money. Plus the thing which upsets me is we weren’t invited to their weddings. Forget about me, but what about extending an invite out to my fiancé only. Then there are those who have house parties with other couples and do not extend invitations out me only to my fiance. Plus my fiancé would tell some coworkers and their wives that they’ll be invited to our wedding when we weren’t even engaged yet! There’s one more coworker whose gf works their too, who we’d happily invite. But of course those who will be invited will not see her as a coworker but rather a gf. Maybe I’m being over controlling and selfish but he gets upset when I calmly say no to the situation.
LilyBiscuit7 LilyBiscuit7 8 years
I worked with a small group of people at the time, so I invited them.
ALSW ALSW 8 years
I invited my boss and several of my coworkers, only the ones that were in MY office though.
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
julieulie, I can't wait till you get married. I hope you post pics.
julieulie julieulie 8 years
I invited all my co-workers, but we are all really close. I work in a lab and we all work long, hard hours -- I see these people double or triple the amount of time I see my fiance. Most of them can't come to the wedding since we're not getting married here, but I at least wanted to offer the opportunity to everyone should they be able to come -- and I am thrilled that a few of them will be there! My coworkers are really my second family, but if I wasn't close with them, I see now reason why anyone should feel obligated to invite someone just because they have a nearby cubicle.
SkinnyMarie SkinnyMarie 8 years
invited my boss because thats al who I have in my office.
estahrox estahrox 8 years
lawchick- you bring up an important point: if someone treats you like crap or backstabs you, why would you want them at your wedding? you definitely made the right decision.This is a great article and very helpful for the bride-to-bes. Determining who to invite from work is a difficult decision to make. You might have various reasons for inviting certain people, but ultimately it is up to you and if anyone gives you slack for it, that's their bad.
estahrox estahrox 8 years
lawchick- you bring up an important point: if someone treats you like crap or backstabs you, why would you want them at your wedding? you definitely made the right decision. This is a great article and very helpful for the bride-to-bes. Determining who to invite from work is a difficult decision to make. You might have various reasons for inviting certain people, but ultimately it is up to you and if anyone gives you slack for it, that's their bad.
tiffanyfuchsia tiffanyfuchsia 8 years
Fortunately, there are only 4 people in my office (including me) so it will be pretty easy to just invite everyone.
sfbutterfly24 sfbutterfly24 8 years
At my office we like to tease our boss with the fact that he would have to get another department to cover for us if one us got married because we would ALL be going to the wedding boss included!!!
lawchick lawchick 8 years
I invited my boss and about 1/4 of my co-workers. I asked them all to be discreet and not discuss it in the office. One person got mad that she wasn't invited, but she was an awful, mean person who said terrible things about me behind my back, so I didn't care if she got her feelings hurt. Everyone else seemed to understand that weddings are expensive and personal. The only person I invited to our wedding who I didn't want to was my boss. I didn't think I could get away with that. He and his wife came and it was fine. (No present, though! Stingy!)
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