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Who Should Pay For Bridesmaids' Expenses?

I'm Asking: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaids' Expenses?

The money I've spent as a bridesmaid is some of the most guiltless spending I've done. It was all for my closest friends or family and supporting them on their wedding days. These efforts came back full circle when they stood by me on my wedding day, and there weren't any money issues standing between us behind the scenes.

For every wedding where I was a bridesmaid, we all paid for our own clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, and travel expenses, but I've heard of other groups of friends that have done things differently. Do you think the bride should be responsible for her bridesmaids' wedding-related expenses, or should the bridesmaids pay their own way?

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Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 6 years
I think that if you are a very demanding bride without respect for another financial situation then yes you should pay! If they must wear the exact same shoes that cost $100 and are something they could never wear with another outfit again, I think it is a bit unfair. Well, let me rephrase that it depends on how much notice they have as well! If they know for a year that they are going to need to fork out serious cash for their outfits that is different than getting engaged and married within 6 months! I think that as long as understanding is included the bridesmaids would always gladly play, but if you have an income unlike your bridesmaids it is unfair to expect them to be able to afford your taste. You can get the same styles for less, and sometimes that is needed for your bridesmaids. My ideal situation would be to be able to pay for my bridesmaids dresses at the very least, and then they can buy the accessories. I would also allow them to buy whatever they chose within reason, so that they can continue to use their purchase after my special day.
Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 6 years
I think that if you are a very demanding bride without respect for another financial situation then yes you should pay! If they must wear the exact same shoes that cost $100 and are something they could never wear with another outfit again, I think it is a bit unfair. Well, let me rephrase that it depends on how much notice they have as well! If they know for a year that they are going to need to fork out serious cash for their outfits that is different than getting engaged and married within 6 months! I think that as long as understanding is included the bridesmaids would always gladly play, but if you have an income unlike your bridesmaids it is unfair to expect them to be able to afford your taste. You can get the same styles for less, and sometimes that is needed for your bridesmaids. My ideal situation would be to be able to pay for my bridesmaids dresses at the very least, and then they can buy the accessories. I would also allow them to buy whatever they chose within reason, so that they can continue to use their purchase after my special day.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
I wish to ask anonymous, what are your intentions of your posts? I know what you enjoy to do in private but what are you attempting to achieve by posting those two posts here? Has it always been the case that you are very critical of yourself? Has another ever go out of their way as a bridesmaid to offer you their perspective of being a bridesmaid? Has any human you encountered in your everyday life find absolutely bliss and happiness from your statements in the above, word by word? Would the respective elder of your family share the same perspective of bridesmaid as you indicated in the above? Do you like taking up the offer of reading word by word of what you posted here to them? What would be their opinions of your posts? How about reading it to your niece or your young daughter, word by word? I am open to hear her reaction to your posts? If you post them here, I assume that you would be also be very comfortable to speak in the same style and similar verbiage with your family members. If you would not, then why would they be posted here in the forum to begin with? If you would read them to your significant family members, I would love to hear what they have to say in response. Of course, you could invent what they have to say, but what is value of your word or your worth if they are not spoken in true honesty? :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
I wish to know your intentions? What are you trying to accomplish as a bridesmaid? What are your goals? What would be the greatest accomplishment of a bridesmaid? What conducts, behaviors and spending level is consistent with the most diligent of a bridesmaid? If you evaluate from the perspective of a bride, what would make the most awesome bridesmaid to you? What are the goals of a wedding and the purpose of a bride in relations to the functions of a bridesmaid? What are the expectation of a bridesmaid from perspectives of the groom and his family? What is the final fulfillment given both of the scenario: 1) the bride pays and 2) the bridesmaid pays? If happiness of both parties is the ultimate goal, do you think it can be accomplished by demanding payments from either party?
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
Do you feel that it's an honor to be someone's bridesmaid? Do you feel that honor can be bought with money or paid for with money? Do you feel that honor could go hand in hand with mandating payments be given or that expense be reimbursed? If you feel honor=money, then what is the meaning of an honor to you?
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
If you've spent money on a dog, do you feel that it's unfair or that you are entitled to your grievance just because you've spent the money? Don't you feel blissful because you are given an opportunity to bless another by offering a part of you that is valuable to another human being. IF you feel at ease or indifferent to helping a dog, why do you feel so emotional charge when it comes to giving to another at that person's wedding? Is that because a dog does not have the ability to make money as a person does? If that is the case, do you believe that there could be psychological complexes associated with giving to another human being. Does life seem fair to you? If it does, then why does it seem fair when it comes to you serving and spending at another's wedding? If money is so important to you, do you believe that the only way that you could feel good as a bridesmaid is when you are paid in full for your services? If you are paid in full, do you feel that you are being bought to perform as supposed to offering yourself in honor of another individual who you care about.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
I am open to hear extreme happy and ecstatic bridesmaid stories about how one just has the most wonderful and life changing experience at another's wedding that they would do it again even if it means they have to pay more than their fair share. Is money really that crucial to one's creation of ultimate bliss based on another individual's unforgettable day?
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
The invention of a civil union at the city hall appears to be the simplest and cleanest way of handling a marriage matrimony between two parties. As it is clearly reflected by this thread and this discussion in particular that some bridesmaids are just not in most celebratory, love-seeking and positive mode when it comes to another individual's big day. Please prove this wrong so that faith can be restored that bridesmaids are still the most priced assets of a wedding ceremony and without them, completeness cannot be yielded.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
to the anonymous above, I wish you to know that you are so precious. If the anonymous in this thread are more than one person, you know who this is for. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
to the anonymous above, "That sure is a lot of craziness to put your court thru for a day that isnt their own" Would you like or declare that you have the open mind to listen to what I really wish to do to my court? There are activities that I truly wish to have them gone through. Would you like to know the details? If you consider what I said earlier to be out of your standard of normality, could you please tell me what is the normality to you? Is your normality the same as everyone else? Are you the dictator that only if others do as you said would they be consider normal? Otherwise, the activities, the suggestions are anything but normal? What do you consider to be a day of your own? If the day is not your own then you care about it much less than you would you own day? Do you believe you are behaving in a self-emphasized way. If the day is your own, you would care about it above the other days. If the day isn't your own, you care about it beneath yours? How do you like it when someone else acts out your philosophy onto you? Everyday is a day to someone.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
to the anonymous individual above, "in SOMEONES desparate attempt to sound intelligent and royal," Do you discriminate individuals who are intelligent and royal? Are you against individuals from attempting to become their best in intelligence and royalty? Do you only respect individuals who sound less intelligent and less royal than you? If that is the case, do you encourage a under developed society? Do you only feel comfortable around people who are less intelligent and less royal than you? Do you have an issue with people who sound better than you? Do you feel that when someone sound a certain way, they are acting desperate to you? Are you more desperate when you insist that others be less intelligent and royal than you? Have you taken your daily medicines? Would you like me to remind you in the next hour? I could call your physician for you so you could feel you are the more intelligent and royal kind. I am sure your physician would go out his/her way to ensure you feel that you are the most intelligent and royal person in the world. I love how you are the most intelligent and royal person in the world. What a great trait to have. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
To the anonymous above, "Good luck finding people to go along with it." Good luck would not be necessary in the search, it would only be necessary when anonymous individuals lurks around in the shadow, acting and possessing quality of a terrorist group member.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
To the anonymous above, "I think SOMEONE needs to put away the THESARUS " In my opinion, the reason Microsoft has the thesaurus built into their template is such that they be utilized frequently. It's an convenience as supposed to an annoyance. Please develop the understanding to differentiate the two. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
to the anonymous above, "(SOMEONE sounds like a bride scorned by her court....or maybe her daddy....whatever)" I am thrill to hear the particular details of how you are gloriously attended to by your daddy every minute of the way till the event is over. I am confident that your daddy has a major kick out of attending you. He's still re-remembering now and I will humbly request that he attends to you again and again. I would love to hear his side of the story because you have such a wonderful habit of including him in your conversation when you speak about other subjects. It is a safe assumption that you cannot forsake those moments! They must be so wonderful for you to last beyond this life time. Thank you so much for recommending this to other bridesmaids.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
To the anonymous above, "GET OVER THYSELF" mechanically speaking, it's critical that I do this to you first. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
To the anonymous above, "Thats worse that trying to buy a house, or fly a plane." Nothing is worse than you disrespecting yourself through writing in caps, speaking in absolutes and using personal attack in an attempt to make a point.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
According to the anonymous above, "sounding moreover SEMANTICAL and RIDICULOUS" You want to hear about why sounding as described is absolutely necessary? Because you deserves this sounding and this is the only way that you will comprehend the massage. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
to the anonymous above, "PSSSST-dont talk to anyone else like that okay?" I am talking to you right now just the way you like and deserve it. :)
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
To the anonymous above, "You sound like the con you are.....whatever)", thanks for admitting and identifying yourself as the con. It takes one who is so experience in the field to even begin to speak of it.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
referring to an anonymous individual again, "Wow. That sure is a lot of craziness to put your court thru for a day that isnt their own" If you prefer to use the word, "craziness" in your description, I will use it to describe why contractual agreements are necessary in this situation. Because the court feels that the day isn't their own, they feel absolutely comfortable and simply don't mind the craziness that they causally put the bride, the groom and or their family through. The contracts are there to deter any craziness from ever being created causally. If the individual so enjoy craziness in their dealings despite their promise to serve their role as bridesmaids, craziness is absolutely allowed with a high price to pay with the brides and grooms as the beneficial parties. What is so crazy when both parties benefit from each other's willingness to commit an act that is deliberated and discussed in details prior to the actual event?
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
referring to an anonymous individual, "Wow. That sure is a lot of craziness to put your court thru for a day that isnt their own. Good luck finding people to go along with it." That's why I stated that one would still be a proud bride walking down the aisle without anyone. When you rely on another individual, you allow that person the freedom to act in a way that is incompatible to your ideals. You take a risk that may or may not result in an uplifting environment that you seek for your day. When you are willing to take that chance, you have to deal with the consequences. When you do not wish to deal with the consequence, you either don't let another person have the opportunity or you just put in as many protective measures as you can. If the other party refuses, his/her refusal just goes to show you that they are not there 100% with you. Why worry about the penalty for damage when you have put in your heart and your personal best into a task that you promise to do? A person has the right to put out the terms she wants, the other person has the right to not want the same terms. That's what negotiation is for.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 6 years
BTW, the contract really is there for the bridesmaids than for the groomsmen/the bride's participants, have you ever heard men complaint about groomsmen or issues such as this in their everyday conversation? The effect the groomsmen has on the groom is non comparison to the effects that the bridesmaids have on the bride. Why? Because male bonding is not based on the same logic as female bonding.
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