My ex keeps haunting me

Nov 25, 2009 - Background information: Dated a jerk for 3 years, of course didn'tknow it, the last 3 months of the relationship was long distance which allowed me to see that I was being played for a fool, so I broke up with him because he wasn't treating me the way I should be treated.  Skip forward maybe 2 months, I find out he had actually been cheating on me for 6-9 months of the last year.  So now, its been almost a year post break up.  I have cutoffall types of communication and including moving out of the country.  But moments of the relatinoship keep popping up in dreams, any time I have down time, am alone, that I rethink how events went and I just get so mad at myself.  I can see so many moments that I should have broken up with him much earlier but didn't because I was this fool.  I guess I hate feeling like this fool that got really taken advantage of.  Even now, I"ll be dreaming/fantasizing about guys that I have met and this "fantasy" turns right back to the ex and ruins it.  How can this jerk of a boy still have this kind of effect on me.  I havne't been on any real dates, have tried to get back into the datingworld, but its like I am not getting any hits at all.  I also feel that I need (need being the operative word) to have a new boyfriend to really get my mind past the jerk because I definately deserve something awesome.  But with that, I feel like the guys I meet definately see what I have on my mind - even when I do not speak of it to anybody - and pass.  I really just want to move on, start new, and have someone wonderful in mylife because I know I deserve it but it feelslike fate has said no to me.  I am a believer in Karma, but I feel these days that karma has failed me, and my ex is still with the girl he was with before and it's like how does he deserve to be in a 'successful' relationship and I deserve to suffer.  I know no one can answer this but when will my day come? - 4 Comments