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An old woman and old man are sitting in the living room watching TV. A commercial comes on for Viagra.
Old man: (jumps out of his chair and starts putting on his jacket and boots).
Old woman: Where do you think you are going?
Sarah Silverman Skirts Jimmy Kimmel Jokes on Stage
No joking matter? Sarah Silverman – who has been silent since her split with Jimmy Kimmel last month – briefly addressed the break-up during her stand-up performance Thursday night. "Did someone tell you I'm going through a hard time?"Blonde Jokes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.Paris Hilton’s unintential joke on “Wetten, Das?” she’s “very loyal, especially now”
Paris Hilton was on popular German variety show “Wetten, Das?” or “Wanna Bet?” this weekend. Overall she was rather boring, although she got the crowd laughing with a stupid comment that wasn’t meant to be a joke. Host Thomas Gottschalk made two cracks about her high intelligence and it didn’t seem like she understood that he was making fun of her.Billy Bob Thornton jokes that Angelina Jolie wants him back
Angelina Jolie’s second husband, actor Billy Bob Thornton, 52, joked during a promotional appearance at a Barnes and Noble to promote the second CD by his band, The Boxmasters, that the pregnant A-list actress will come back to him any day now. He was likely asked about her, and came up with this delusional response: Thornton said, “She’s just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there.Bar Joke
Bar Joke As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flash- ing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath. In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, "If that's the way you want it, you can keep your freaking ice creams!"Joke: Hair Removal with wax
A good friend of mine sent this to me. I almost fell off my chair!!!!!!!!!! ********************************************************************************** All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now....the wax.Will Ferrell's (Joking) Advice to Nicole Kidman
Will Ferrell played Nicole Kidman's husband in 2005's Bewitched – and if she needs parenting tips, he's available. "For me, talk to your children, at least once a week," Ferrell, the father of sons Magnus, 4, and Mattias, 1, joked to PEOPLE at Tuesday's premiere of Step Brothers in L.A. "If you've got time, do it two or three times a week," he adds.Joke: The Pastor's Ass
Joke: The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.Alec Baldwin jokes there’s a vast right wing conspiracy against him
Remember that voicemail message that Alec Baldwin left for his-then 12 year-old daughter, Ireland, in which he sounded like a mafia kingpin telling her she had insulted him for the last time and calling her a thoughtless little pig? (Here’s a Dora the Explorer mashup with the voicemail created by Funny Or Die in case you missed it.) Baldwin was on 60 Minutes last night and Morley Safer specifically asked him about the voicemail message, which was leaked a little over a year ago. You could see Baldwin’s temper starting to mildly flare in his response to Morley, in which he took the question as a personal affront and told him he had a judgmental tone.
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