Tres--it isn't absurd to them. It's their faith. No judgments please.

How did the letter get out?
And although I can't agree with their reasoning or delivery, I don't think they should marry either.It doesn't seem to be a very health relationship for either one of them.

it's not anyone elses business who she marries! it is absurd, and i also love that line!!

that picture took me offguard, though - i don't know that i've ever really taken a good look at her! i wouldn't have been able to put a face to a name, until now, which is weird for me!!

this is not absurd at all to the israelis. it is a HUGE deal for them to marry jewish. on one of my last trips there, one of the israelis straight out said that marrying out of the religion is "finishing hitler's work". given, he's a bit more religious than most israelis, but on a whole, they take marriage very seriously.

That's a pretty bad pic. She's a VS model, y'all couldn't find something better?

Anyway, is she even engaged to him? They seem to be jumping the gun. IMO, it's none of their business. I don't want my country or my church writing me letters telling me not to marry my bf because they don't like it. Butt out. If her religion & culture is important to her, she will carry that on with her children if she chooses to. And I agree the letter is absurd, particularly the wording. There are many ways a parent can "harm" future generations, this is not likely to be one of them.

When you are a minority, every single person matters. 6,000,000 jews died in their quest to remain jewish. It is a serious matter, the platform a bit over the top.

wow anon #5. way to miss the point. read michiny's post for clarification.

I don't care how seriously they feel about anti-racial marriage. It's none of their damned business.

You know, in the South there was a lot of pressure to keep the white race pure as well. There were tons of anti-mesegenation laws - you know,to prevent the mongrelization of the white race. It's the same goal of this group.

This is them rubbing their political views in someone else's marriage. It's just amazingly arrogant.

i'm not agreeing with the letter, as i come from a mixed marriage myself.

i'm just annoyed by the fact that this is being treated as something that's funny, when it is something that people take very seriously.

And I'm in an interracial marriage.

It would be foolish to pretend that Jewish people are not capable of racism, which this obviously is. I don't care what their pretext is, it's obvious that racism is their true motive.

agreed, SKG. it is a racial/cultural group as well as a religious group and I don't ever support people saying "anything but what we are is wrong", no matter what point of view they are coming from... its closed-minded, period. doesn't mean people aren't entitled to choose to marry within their race/religion, but you can't cut out entire groups or label them as anti- or bad and then say "but I'm not racist". it just doesn't work that way.

ummmmmm it's not obvious that racism is their true motive.

since racism implies hatred of other races. pretty sure israelis hate bar more than they hate leo.

is it racist that you can't get married in some catholic churches if you're not catholic?

this lady is just a loon. their kids would be jewish anyway, so it wouldn't actually "hurt" the future generations.

oops, sorry, marzel's a guy. tres's "jewish mother" line got me all worked up.

anyway, i didn't comment on this post to argue. SKG, and mamasita, i understand your viewpoint...i just think i feel differently because i have spent lots of time over there, and racism is the last word i think of when i discuss my background over there. but i do understand what you're saying, 100%

i just didn't appreciate the lightheartedness of the post, and was kind of embarrassed by the last paragraph. this is something that should be discussed in all seriousness, not in a "hahaha this guy is hilarious" kind of way

Exactly, Mamacita. I mean, people marry within their race and religion all the time - it's what's comfortable for them. That's fine - marriage is first and foremost about computability. I don't even have a problem with a mother telling her daughter that she's prefer them to marry someone Jewish - that's fine too. But, to condemn someone that chooses a different direction? I don't care what fancy wording or pretext you have, it's really sleazy.

If you're going to post a public letter condemning an interracial couple because you're concerned about the mongrelization of your race, I get to call you on your obvious racism.

Oh, that's cool, Snarky. I also get where you're coming from 100 percent too.

Ok, this just makes me angry. I don't know too much about Lehava, but why on Earth are they worried about this disgusting, draft-dodging so and so? Let Leo have her! I care more about Israel than she does.

And, how in the hell is this a race thing? Jews come in every shape and a rainbow of colors. Jews, much like a number of different religions across the globe, frown on inter-faith marriages. Of course, they ultimately cannot do anything about it. But, as Michlny said, every single person matters when you are a minority. They aren't about to "coexist" themselves right out of existence. Good for them!

I don't see this as racism. I think they should mind their own business, but racism no.
The point of religion is to follow the ways of the church. In this case they are just reminding her of the ways of the church. If this is racism then ALL religion is racist and wrong.
Furthermore, we are speaking of a woman who shirked her military duty, lied to not pay taxes to her country and has displayed little in the way of morals. Maybe this group should rethink whether they really want her to be associated with their religion.

Coexist themselves out of existence? Give me a break. Bottom line, they'll have no say in who Bar marries, if and when she does. I think it's awful that people have this kind of panic about marrying outside of the religion, but it's real. I come from a Jewish family, and this is EXACTLY something that many of my family members would say.

Also, I agree with spacekatgal completely. There is a lot of racial motivation going on here. I think people fail to see that but I absolutely agree with her example. It's the same as a white family being afraid of their child marrying a black person...if this were another religious or ethnic group would you feel that it was wrong?

It is sad when people choose not to be together because of religion. My mother is Catholic and my father is Jewish. I learned a lot from both religions and I have a rich heritage behind me.

Also, I think Leo is hotter than ever. He used to be too girly looking for my taste.

From my understanding, it's more the older generations that are scared of the Jewish race dying out because of assimilation. To newer generations, religion isn't always the number one priority. Not to say, that it isn't important at all - I know my boyfriend's family wants me to convert to Judaism if/when we decide to get married. My boyfriend doesn't care so much. But with Bar, her children would be Jewish anyway (passes through the mother), so she wouldn't be "harming" future generations. I suppose I can understand their point of view (and their fear), but this was not the way to get the point across at all.
Cirrus1701 - she didn't serve? How did she get out of that?

I live in Los Angeles and I know more mixed jewish couples than couples that are both jewish. But I would not worry about this couple marrying. Leo is a known womanizer and what makes her so special that he would even consider marrying her? She is just another notch on his belt I'm sure.

I say again, what freaking race??? The term "racism" gets thrown around way too much these days. I have a friend who only wanted to marry an Chinese woman, due to his incredible love for China and her people. He has a whole rainbow of friends, but Chinese women really captured his heart. One of my sister's in laws married a man from St. Kits. I really like bald black men. Avery Brooks and Chi McBride are just awesome! Oh wait. I married a white man. Dang. Off to the reeducation center for me. Preferences are not the same as actual racism! We all have preferences and prejudices. If you constantly cry "racism", then real and horrific incidents of racism will not be given the attention they need.

This is a discussion about religion and interfaith marriage! Jews come in all shapes and colors. And yes, I meant exactly what I said. Jews have a very real and legitimate concern about their religion and way of life dying out. Women are the spiritual head of the Jewish family. That's why they wrote that letter to Bar. Some of us take our faith (Christianity, Judaism, Islam) rather seriously.

Cfp, I can't tell if you are genuinely curious about my opinion or even remotely care. I'll respect you enough to answer honestly. I have no problems with race. I prefer 1-2 religions, tolerate most others, and there are a couple that are absolute deal breakers for me. Often times, both religions get lost in the quest to be inclusive and celebrate everything. I am well aware that there are interfaith marriages that work well. Great! In general, I do not agree with interfaith marriages. Love does not conquer all.

Gingirl,
Everybody in Israel has to serve in the military or do national service. She did neither. She got married to avoid the draft, and looked down her nose at those who did serve. Bar has done a number of interviews with magazines like Marie Clarie and has been up front about not serving. You used to go to jail for not following through on your commitment, but the government has backed off on the punishments...especially for the rich and famous.

It may not be racism, but it is prejudice, and I am so tired of people using religion as a cover for theirs. I think it's a seriously uncool move to put pressure on her to be some sort of savior to future generations. Her priority should be what makes her happy (be it marrying someone of her faith or not), and not people who don't even exist yet (and may never do) that she has zero obligation to.

I'm thinking of starting a TresSugar group with quotes of the worst, most offensive anonymous comments like 24 & 25 in an effort to get Sugar Network to ban them.

Maybe if Leo really wants her bad enough he'll convert!

Maybe if she wants him bad enough she will convert! I have 2 friends who were jewish and converted to marry christians. Both are very happy now.

I can't believe these lunatics made the news. If a Christian conservative group had written a letter to Leo with the same request, would it have become a matter for the press? I am a Jewish woman, and I just want to remind everyone that there are plenty of Jews who think this is ridiculous, too.

As a Jewish woman I don't think the concept is absurd - my family - my ancestors - were Jewish through the Romans, the Greeks, the Christians, Turks, Cossacks, and dozens of other repressive regimes. They kept their faith against terrible conditions, often under penalty of death. 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust and millions more suffered horribly before and during because of their faith. And still we are Jews. If you're not Jewish then I guess you can't appreciate how powerful it is - intrinsic in who you are. To intermarry, to throw it all away and assimilate and let go of our faith would be a horrible betrayal. I pity those of you who do not have that relationship with your faith, but to make light of it is incredibly offensive and hateful. You might think such a letter is nosy, but to openly mock it is to mock thousands of years of Jewish tradition and faith.

Spacekatgal, I'm so with you on the banning Anonymous commenters. And possibly even filtering comments. I'm all for free speech but some things genuinely do not advance the cause of free speech and vicious, anonymous comments are among them.

im actually from israel and to say the truth most israelis cannot stand bar rafaeli. everyone in israel is required to serve in the military (the only way to avoid this if your a woman is if your married, sick, or religious) and bar got married for exactly two years and then divorced him.

but besides that point i cannot believe the gall of that group telling bar who to marry. i think that is beyond obnoxious and non of their business. i understand that they want to keep israeli faith alive but in the end its the persons individual decision on what they are going to stay to true too. and this is by no means racial! thats the silliest thing i heard, this is defiantly religious! whoever said racial just shows they know nothing about the jewish faith. it would have been racial if they demanded her to marry only an israeli.

i'm an israeli too , i can't believe someone has the nerve to ask Bar not to marry Leo , just b/c he is not Jewish .
if the man is a good , loving , caring and trustworthy - i don't think his religion makes any different .
and this person who send her the letter should mind her on damn business...

so it's ok to some because this was coming from a religious place and not a racial place? That's ridiculous. If that was a german man telling a german woman not to marry an african man then EVERYBODY would be bashing him. I can't believe the hyprocrisy on this site sometimes.

tres, skg, mamacita: I agree with you guys

I respect all the people on here saying faith is important and marrying within your faith is equally important - but you guys are missing the point IMHO, you are assuming Bar shares that same faith.

Maybe she is Jewish by blood, but doesn't really care for the religion, or maybe she sees things differently and has other priorities besides the importance of securing bloodlines?

And that is where the "absurd" comes in, it is her beliefs, her faith, she must act according to that, not what we think her beliefs should be.

Bar looks ugly in this picture. Her mouth shape is gross. She always looks like she has a scowl. Eeew.

This is about religion, not racism. Racism has to do with color/culture. I will agree that it sounds prejudiced. It's none of their business & how dare they impose! It's none of our business, either! I wish them love, peace, & happiness.

I say, be worried if someone you're concerned about is about to marry an alien. Or a serial killer. I'm not making light of the situation. Just think about what I'm saying.

Tres, please please please put a stop to the anonymous comments. Signing up to the Sugar network is SO easy, anyone can do it, there is no reason to be commenting anonymously.

Tres, I'm in agreement with many of the commententors here - MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE ANONYMOUS COMMENTS ARE RUDE, RACIST, AND DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISUCSSION. PLEASE STOP ALLOWING COMMENTS FROM NON-REGISTERED USERS.

Comments like "the sooner the Jews die out the better" do not belong here.

I totally agree with the others about the anonymous comments! Does somebody have the troll-b-gone spray anywhere?

I'm in agreement with the banning of anonymous comments.

and tres, please respond to us. Don't ignore what loyal users are asking for.

Yeah, Tres. I mean, look at who's asking for this change. It's all of your most loyal users of the site. We feel so strongly about this. The homophobia frequently displayed by anonymous comments is horrible, and the example of anti-semitism Running mentioned is the worst comment I've ever seen on TresSugar.

Can you please address this, and at least let us know you're considering it?

I'll add my voice to the chorus saying that anonymous comments should not be allowed. I came late to the discussion, but SKG filled me in one some of the horrible stuff that was said. This shouldn't be a place where anonymous jerkazoids should be allowed to say nasty things and have it stand.

Now, on to the topic at hand.

I don't agree with Baruch Marzel, but I understand where they're coming from.

I once dated a girl who was Basque, and there was a LOT of pressure on her to marry someone who's Basque. The Basque people for thousands of years have clung to a tiny, rocky, inhospitable bit of land (which straddles Spain and France), fighting off or avoiding incursions and advancing armies of Spaniards, French, German, Romans, Visigoths, etc. Their land is basically a cross-roads where invading armies going up and down Northern Europe have to pass through. They were bombed for no reason by the Germans at Guernica, and their language was outlawed under Francisco Franco. They have a language like no other extant language. Being 100% Basque is important to them, as is the idea that they've survived literally thousands of years of onslaught.

The Jewish race is similar in a lot of ways. Surrounded by enemies. Enslaved by the Babylonians. Enslaved by the Egyptians. Slaughtered by the Nazis. Encircled by enemy Arabs. Their history of persecution denied by the current leader of Iran.

So I can understand where Baruch Marzel is coming from. The marry an outsider is to deny a history of oppression, is to destroy the efforts of generations to keep an oppressed people together.

Another thing is that when you marry someone, you don't just marry that person - you marry into their family, you marry into their people, their race. Whether you like it or not.

I'm Chinese, and for SKG, part of dating and marrying me was understanding that there were some people who wouldn't approve of a mixed relationship. It's good to know the context, and then make your decision anyway.

Thus, Bar and Leonardo should go ahead and marry if they think it's right for them. Other people can have an opinion, but ultimately it's their decision.

To the ignorant people calling this racism: For the record, Judaism is a religion, not a race. Caucasian, African-American, Asian, all those are races - i.e. the color of your skin and the historic origins of your ancestors. Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, those are all religions - belief systems. Frankly, I find it offensive that you refer to anyone's concern about their religion dying out as racist... but considering how ignorant you must be about the difference between race and religion, I suppose I should just be grateful you aren't Jewish. I would hate for you to be connected to me even on an ancestral level.

"Bar looks ugly in this picture. Her mouth shape is gross. She always looks like she has a scowl. Eeew. " What, exactly, did this anonymous comment add to the discussion. Go away now, please.

Oh, TLS. You came late to the party and missed all the best anonymous comments.

Haha, you mean there were more obnoxious, badly spelled, and/or intolerant comments on here? Shocking

I agree about the anonymous posts. Most of them have been hateful and of poor quality. They add nothing to positive group discussion. Perhaps, someone should start a community group on this? Then, Sugar would witness the power behind the numbers.

g-d did not allow all the beautiful jewish souls to witness the giving of the torah at sanai so that bar rafaeli could give him the finger and marry outside the faith