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What Makes You Nervous These Days?

TresSugar — Thu, 21 May 2009 11:45:00 -0700

Americans are smiling less and worrying more than they were a year ago. Depression, cigarette sales, and sleepless nights are on the rise. But you probably didn't need this new survey from Gallup to tell you that.

According to today's New York Times, it's not debt or a lack of money that's making people more miserable. Rather Americans feel worse when something bad might occur, than when they know something bad will occur. For example: if you know you're going to lose your job, you can start moving on. But if you might lose your job, you will continue to worry about it. Ironically, the option where you get laid off could end up making you happier!

Are there any uncertainties that make you nervous?

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You Asked: Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 12:51:43 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I feel like I've been on a mental downward spiral for the last few months and I don't know how to get out of it. Two months ago my company announced that there would be layoffs, but we won't know exactly who is getting the ax for another few weeks but the stress of waiting is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I tell myself how lucky I am to still have a job, but still, I'm unfocused and unmotivated at work, I'm depressed at home, and stressed out all the time.

Normally I'm a very active and social person but I find myself too tired to plan anything with my friends and lost all interest in meeting people on the romantic front. I keep trying to stay interested in my hobbies and my life, but I'm just so mentally wiped out. Do you have any advice? - Waiting Around Abbie

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Dear Waiting Around Abbie,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now - waiting for the other shoe to drop can't be a good feeling - but since you do still have a job, I'd try to keep everything in perspective. Remember that if you slack off at work that could in turn jeopardize your position, especially if they are hand picking who gets let go. And if you're really concerned with your future at this company, I suggest you start looking for other positions now, just in case.

While I understand that you're mentally exhausted, now is the time to lean on your friends and family for support so you can get out of your head. Push yourself to get lost in one of your hobbies or exercise a few times a week, and instead of hiding out from your social life, commit to going out even when you think you're too tired - I'm almost certain that you'll be happy you did once you're out.

This is a hard time for a lot of people so don't be too hard on yourself for feeling a little down and out, but if your overwhelming anxiety continues, I'd consider talking to a therapist. Good luck to you.

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Dear Poll: Are You Yearning For Mindless Entertainment?

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:13:34 -0800

I don't know about you, but all I want to do to unwind when I get home from work these days is watch some mindless TV or read a trashy magazine. Not only can I get a good laugh out of it, but it's much less stressful than worrying about the economic crisis. If you've been feeling anxiety in the air lately, too, tell me, are you also yearning for some senseless entertainment to get your mind off things?

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Relationship Protocol: Has Monetary Stress Affected Your Relationship?

DearSugar — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Even if the economy hasn't forced you to drastically change your lifestyle, the stress in the air is undeniable. Though 2009 is sure to be an exciting year, it'll also be one chock-full of uncertainty and apprehension. I know that money woes affect everyone differently, so tell me, has it played a role in your otherwise carefree relationship?

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5 Ways to Get the Romance Back After the Holidays

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Avoiding a sex slump during the holidays takes some work, but it can also be difficult to reconnect with your special someone after the holiday stress is behind you. In case you missed any of Patty Brisben's advice on how to do just that, I'm here to recap her five helpful tips on how to get the romance back after the holiday stress is behind you. Enjoy! Source

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What Was Your Biggest Worry in 2008?

DearSugar — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Was it just me or did 2008 feel like a very stressful, yet exciting year? Not only did we make presidential history, but our economy unfortunately made history too. Whether it's your bank account, your career, your relationship, your family, or your future, tell me, what was your biggest worry in 2008?

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Do Tell: What Makes Thanksgiving Stressful For Your Family?

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Most of you are excited for Thanksgiving, but 29 percent of you admitted to already feeling anxious about it. Getting family together can no doubt be stressful, especially when factoring in those sweet spots of contention that can easily become exacerbated during overwhelming times. In an effort to help you get through this holiday, do tell, what exactly is it that makes things so trying for your family?

Dear Poll: Are You Excited or Anxious For Thanksgiving?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Thanksgiving is often looked at as the most stressful holiday of the year. It's typically the first event where family comes together, and as I'm sure we can all attest to, family can be overwhelming and difficult. On the flip side, it's a time where you can see loved ones that you haven't seen for a while, a time to get festive, and a time to break all those diet rules! Since the big day is just a few weeks away, tell me, does this holiday lend itself to anxiety or excitement for you?

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Dear Poll: Is Election Day Making You Anxious?

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

If you're feeling a little anxious right about now, you're not alone. The months leading up to this election day have been nerve-wracking, to say the least, and since we still have hours to go until we find out who our next president will be, relaxing and taking your mind off the polls will definitely benefit your stress level. Of course, that's easier said than done, and since misery loves company, so tell me, are you experiencing anxiety today, too?

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The How-To Lounge: Compartmentalizing Emotions

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Compartmentalizing has been a buzz term in psychology for some time now, and refers to the habit of consciously separating specific aspects of one's life from others in order to not dwell on bad feelings. For example, if you’ve had a terrible day at work, to properly compartmentalize those negative emotions, you’d leave them at work and go home happy. But while this word is often slung around, actually achieving its purpose is much more difficult. If you're looking to learn more about how to do this, then check out my tips. To see them read more.

Being able to compartmentalize a negative emotion does involve some letting go, and as we know, letting go is really hard! So instead of thinking of it as simply getting over something, consider it a temporary pause while you deal with other things. Knowing that you can come back to it later will make it easier to leave it behind now.
Just because you're putting specific worries away doesn’t mean that you can’t address them. Go ahead and open up to friends, but avoid dwelling. The whole point of compartmentalizing is that it allows you to do other things without managing the stress of your bigger problem at the same time.
Decide when you can go back and deal with your issue. In fact, if you need to literally pick a time, then do so. If you’ve had a fight with your boyfriend, but you both have to go to a party, you’re going to have to fake nice. But recognize that you'll be communicating again once the party is over.
On that note, don’t over compartmentalize. If you keep stuffing emotions and stress away, it’s going to catch up with you. So use compartmentalizing as a tool, rather than a solution.

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