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What's the Worst Backhanded Compliment You've Received?

TresSugar — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:00:00 -0700

Why blatantly insult someone, when you can disguise it as a compliment? Intentional or not, some people have the art of backhanded compliments down. Like supermodel Iman for example. She told Parade Magazine this week:

Mrs. Obama is not a great beauty. But she is so interesting looking and so bright. That will always take you farther. When you’re a great beauty, it’s always downhill for you. If you’re someone like Mrs. Obama, you just get better with age.

Who wants to be a great beauty anyway, when you can be, uh, interesting looking? Other backhanded compliments include: "You age so well." Or, "You look great! Did you lose weight?"

Have you received any memorable critical compliments?

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Dish! What Backhanded Compliment Have You Heard?

GiggleSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:15:00 -0700

A scoop of criticism with a cherry on top, anyone? Backhanded compliments can be the fiercest of insults. Chances are we've probably all heard them and even served them up at some point or another. I prefer to think that most of this nasty flattery is an accidental result of someone speaking before thinking. But giving our offender the benefit of the doubt doesn't take away the sting of a blindsided burn. So you tell me: What backhanded compliment have you heard or - mean girl alert! - dropped on someone else? Here are a few to get us started:

You're really filling out.
I'm so jealous you don't have to wear a bra every day.
Hey! Your face cleared up!
If you were taller, you could be a model.
You look so nice today, I almost didn’t recognize you.
That tasted better than it looked.
It's so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who doesn't feel the need to prove they are smart.
You're smart to do your laundry on Saturday night, when everyone else is out.
Nice dress. I've seen a lot of girls wearing it, but I think it suits you most.
You look like a porn star.

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What Do You Do With a Beauty Underminer?

BellaSugar — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:00:40 -0700

Ah, underminers - those frenemies who, either intentionally or subconsciously, try to bring you down with faux concern and back-handed compliments. Their motivations aren't always clear, but their nastiness definitely is, especially when you're left feeling bad about yourself after an encounter with one. An underminer is especially terrible when you've made a new or interesting beauty choice, since they'll try to drive a dagger into any little bit of self-consciousness you have and exploit it to make you hate your new look - no matter how cool it actually is or how happy it makes you. I've had my fair share of showdowns with these kinds of people, since I don't appreciate their passive-aggressive attitudes, but do you know any personally? And if so, how do you deal with them?

Easy Virtue: Sparkling Cast Can't Help the Center Star

BuzzSugar — Tue, 26 May 2009 09:30:30 -0700

Easy Virtue, a film adaptation of Noel Coward's jazzy 1920s-set play, pits the old traditions of Europe's landowning gentry against the brash modernity that America had come to symbolize. The old guard is represented by a wealthy British family led by the brittle matriarch Mrs. Whittaker (Kristin Scott Thomas). When her son, John Whittaker (Ben Barnes), marries a sexy race car driver named Larita (Jessica Biel) several years his elder, the entire family is thrown into a tizzy.

Once Biel's character arrives at the Whittaker home she's meant to represent a vibrant and mesmerizing new way of doing things that is utterly offensive to this family so steeped in tradition. But alas, Ms. Biel doesn't quite have what it takes to hold down the center of a film like this and the whole endeavor suffers. To see why, read more.

The cast includes the kind of immensely talented actors who can take on the old-fashioned, quick and witty dialogue with one hand tied behind their backs. Biel tries to keep up and at times she succeeds, but most of the time she simply appears to be swimming upstream. As you might expect, Kristin Scott Thomas deliciously inhabits her icy character with ease and delivers each line as a stinging backhanded compliment. Colin Firth plays her long-suffering husband still hurting from memories of war, and delivers an incredibly funny yet soulful performance. Even Ben Barnes, who is handsome but stiff in The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, displays pizzazz as the prodigal son returning home.

As the movie clicks along, though, more and more is asked of Biel as she navigates the cruel and ruthless landmines set out for her by her new mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, and she's not quite able to rise to the occasion. As the tone shifts in the final act from a comedy of manners to a darker drama, the talented ensemble cast does all it can to prop the movie up, but the center can't hold in the end.

Photos courtesy of Sony Picture Classics

Should John Comment on Pete and Ashlee's Relationship?

PopSugar — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:00:23 -0800

John Mayer has been good at keeping his opinions to himself recently, but in an upcoming interview with Blender magazine, he shares his thoughts regarding his BFF Pete Wentz's relationship with Ashlee Simpson. He said, "To have this beautiful relationship with someone who gets attacked so often, and to handle it with such grace and respect - I just find that really impressive." John's in a strange position to comment, having dated Ashlee's sister, Jessica. Plus, it seems like a bit of a backhanded compliment that insults Ashlee. So tell us - should John have even commented on Pete and Ashlee?

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Four Steps For Handling Hurtful Comments

DearSugar — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

There's nothing as rude and hurtful as a critical comment dressed as praise or a joke. The truth is no matter how they're brushed off, you know when someone's said something to intentionally put you down. Anger and embarrassment are natural reactions, but an article from November's O magazine offers some more productive ways of countering rude comments. I've summed up the four principles it mentions, so to see them just read more.

Find your emotional balance. In order for a verbal attack to be effective, the person being insulted has to be vulnerable. If you feel good about yourself, you'll recognize the attack as a character flaw in the person throwing it and not yourself.
Do what you can to get mean people out of your life. People who intentionally say something hurtful are not nice and by being around those people you're only opening yourself up to their cruel behavior.
If there's no way to get away from someone like this, then you have to learn how to properly defend yourself. The article offers three techniques as follows:
- Give a direct response to acknowledge that a comment is rude and to stop it in its tracks. For instance, "That was mean. Please stop."
- Don't get defensive - concede the truth in their words, but ignore their negative behavior completely. For example, if someone says something about how awful you look, you might respond with, "I'm tired today. How have you been?"
- Rudeness seeks to make others feel child-like and weak, so counter a biting statement with the tone of a reprimanding parent, like "If you have nothing nice to say, please don't say anything at all."
Changing your reaction to backhanded compliments and rude observations takes time, but the more you practice the more natural it will feel.

I found these strategies helpful, but I know everyone has their own ways of dealing with these situations. How do you react when someone makes a comment you know is meant to be to be critical and put you down?

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Dannii Gets Over-25s And Sets Sights on America

PopSugarUK — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dannii Minogue had a gay old time at a book launch last night, and her smiles suggest she's pretty happy with her lot at the moment. Who can blame her, with a new man in her life and a new plan to break in to American TV. She's also found out she's got the over-25s in The X Factor, and has given them a back-handed compliment by reportedly saying: "The 'overs' are very strong. No one ever wants them but we've got some good ones this year". Simon's got the boys, Cheryl's got the girls and Louis has got the groups. Do you think Dannii can win again this year?

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Did John Mayer Do the Right Thing?

DearSugar — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Over the weekend, John Mayer tried to clear the air and squash the never ending rumors surrounding his breakup with Jennifer Aniston. Of course, we've heard every reason in the book for why they split, but according to Mayer himself, "There's no lying, there's no cheating. There's no nothing..." In an effort to stand up for her, in my opinion, he also gave her a backhanded compliment when saying, "But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great."

It's no secret that Jen hasn't been lucky in love these days, and though it was a sweet gesture to defend his ex, do you think John said too much? It sounded like a big pity party to me, but what do you think? If you were in her shoes, would you be thankful or angry by his message to the fans?

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Jessica Simpson Has a Bright Smile and a Positive Attitude

PopSugar — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 02:01:00 -0700

Jessica Simpson traded in hot and sexy for comfy casual yesterday at lunch at Dos Caminos with her mom before heading to La Guardia Airport and out of NYC. It's always great to see a smile on our new country singer's face, even when handling criticism. Jess said, "A lot of people have listened to 'Come On Over' and told me, 'I really wanted to hate it, but I like it.' [It] is a backhanded compliment, but I'm glad it's that way and not the other way around." Most of you liked her first country tune, so maybe now the praise of her new songs will be more straightforward.

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Splash News Online and Bauer-Griffin Online

GiggleSugar Best of the Week

GiggleSugar — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Introducing: The Napoleon Dynamite of the '80s
The Godfather of Paternity Tests is finally getting the recognition he deserves.
Obama's got the baby vote in the bag.
"What the f*ck are you doing?"
James Blunt gets shite for being an obsessive, annoying a-hole.
Watch this and 55 seconds into it - give the back-up dancer in hot pink your undivided attention.
Pssst . . . Beaker's got something to tell ya.
No french kiss for you!
What backhanded compliment have you heard? Ready, set, dish!