PopSugar

Should Your Boyfriend Also Be Your Best Friend?

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 07:30:00 -0800

When you meet someone and fall in love, you can't help but want to spend most of your free time with him or her. And when you spend that much time with one person, and share a unique intimacy you don't share with anyone else, they become the person you trust more than anyone else. All these qualities are what you'd find in a best friend, but should your lover also be your BFF?

In a recent Real Simple article, John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, said this about the question:

"I have no problem with partners who are best friends, but you should have other close friends to confide in as well - especially when you are having difficulties and need time away from your spouse. Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

I'm curious to hear your take on this issue. Do you agree with John Gray, that it's asking too much to have one person be both your life partner and your best friend? Or do you think your spouse should without a doubt wear both hats?

Source

This or That: Bailing For Better Scenery or a Boy?

DearSugar — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

You and your closest friend have finally been fortunate enough to live in the same city for the past year, for the first time since high school. She moves around a lot and is always searching for the next best place. It’s been amazing having her around and your life feels full in a way you just can’t get from a boyfriend. But when she says she needs to meet you to talk, you’re instantly worried. Would it be worse if . . .

This: She’s decided to move again, but this time overseas? She doesn’t have a real game plan or know when she’ll be back. You hope it's successful, but it seems like she's just trying to escape.

Or . . .

That: It turns out she’s getting back together with her ex-boyfriend, the one she's taken years to get over? You want her to be happy, but not at the expense of her mental well-being.

Source

Do Tell: How Did You Meet Your Best Friend?

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

There's nothing like a best friend! The importance of having someone you can turn to and trust without a moment of hesitancy is infinitely important in this hectic world. But the friendship that you have with a best friend is more than just the day-to-day stuff, it’s also about the memories you create with one another along the way. So let’s take a trip down memory lane and share the story of how you met your best friend!

Source

Group Therapy: Should I Let It Be?

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My relationship with my best friend of 15 years has been rocky for the last two. We have a lot of history together. I was there for her through thick and thin, and even helped her when she had her first child and the father was nowhere to be found! Our lives have changed a lot during the past two years. She got married and had another child, and I went through an awful marriage and divorce.

My ex-husband was abusive, and my best friend stopped coming around because she hated him so much. She would be there for me when he did something, but other than that it was pretty much a one-sided friendship; I was the one who did the calling, etc. Since my divorce I don't want to hear my ex's name, let alone see him. Of course, she knows this. He works at a nearby restaurant, so I avoid that place at all costs.

The other night my friend texted me and said, "I'm having to look at your icky ex. I'm eating where he works." I responded, "I don't want to hear about him. If you don't want to look at him, don't eat there." And then she replied, "I will eat where I want to eat. At least he is being nice." That comment really got me, and I haven't spoken to her since. There has been a strange tension between us for a while that I can't quite figure out. Am I overreacting? Should I let it go?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Source

Group Therapy: How Do You Break Up With Your "Best Friend"?

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I have a friend that I met at school; we became fast friends because we were in the same class. We've known each other for almost a year, yet I often feel we're not friends at all. Lately she has seemed extremely fake and insincere around me. She's obviously bored when I talk and does not talk to me outside of class. To be frank I would prefer it if we were no longer friends, but I have no idea how to go about it since we will still see each other on campus (it's a very small university).

To make matters worse, my best friend from high school was visiting, and my friend decided to tag along for dinner. She got embarrassingly drunk and ended up sleeping with him that same night. I later spoke to my best friend from high school about it because it bothered me a lot; he apologized profusely. But the situation didn't sit right. We're a few years apart in age, going in different directions in life, and have next to nothing in common. I've since gotten over our initial bond and now get extremely annoyed whenever I see her. How do I go about breaking up with her? Do I just play nice until we never have to see each other again, or should I confront her?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Source

Handle This: Dating Someone 20 Years Older

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

You’ve been close with your best friend since you were kids, and you’ve witnessed her love life every step of the way. After a difficult end to a doomed engagement, she’s been having a hard time moving on.

Next thing you know she’s taken up with a man 20 years older than her. He spoils her rotten, and seems to care about her deeply. You know some people think that age is just a number, but something about their relationship dosen’t sit right with you - from what you know, it seems like he’s made a habit out of dating young women. Now she’s confiding in you that she sees herself marrying him, so how do you handle this?

Source

A Do or a Don't: Talking It Out With Your Friends

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Whenever a problem should arise in a relationship, communication is nearly always the best method to finding the solution, but is that true for friendships as well? Friendships aren’t meant to be a challenge, so it seems almost counterintuitive to assume that there will be issues you have to work through, but as we all know, stuff does come up even between the best of friends. So when it does, do you just take the hands-off approach and let things work out (or not) naturally? Or do you think it’s best to apply those communication skills to your friendships, too?

Source

Do Tell: What Makes Your Best Friend So Special?

DearSugar — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Today is National Friendship Day, so to celebrate, I want to take this opportunity to let you all talk about someone else - your best friend! As you all know, I've known mine since kindergarten, and she's actually become more like a sister to me. She's the first person I go to with anything because no matter what, I know she'll support me, listen to me, and offer a shoulder to cry on. She's also one of the few people that I never get sick of, and we can laugh about everything, or nothing at all, at any given moment. I feel very fortunate to have her in my life, and I know with certainty that we'll be best friends forever.

I'm sure each and every one of you has someone you call your best friend, so tell me about him or her! On this Friendship Day, what is it about your BFF that makes him or her so special to you?

Source

Dear Poll: Does Your Best Friend Live Nearby?

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Long-distance relationships are tough, but so are long-distance friendships! If you're lucky enough to have your best friend living in the same town, you probably get to see her pretty regularly. But it can be tough - and potentially expensive - when BFFs live halfway across the country or world. What's your situation?

Source

Group Therapy: I Know Her Boyfriend Is Cheating - What Do I Do?

Fri, 23 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

A couple months ago, my best friend met this guy at a party. They hit it off immediately, and since then, they hooked up a couple times. She was really falling for him, but she told me how she got this vibe from him that he wanted to keep things secret. The first time she was at his apartment, she noticed pictures of a girl. She asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said he was "on a break."

Meanwhile, she had been bringing him out, and he become pretty tight with our group of friends. He even moved in to a vacant room at the apartment of our two best guy friends. A couple of weeks ago this guy (who was still hooking up with my best friend) brought his actual girlfriend with him to a party we were all at. In fact, he was never on a break with her, and she has no idea. This guy has since talked to my best friend and apologized for lying. He told her he had been having problems in his relationship, but he loves his girlfriend and doesn't want to hurt her.

I think the only reason he's sweet-talking my best friend is because he doesn't want her to rat him out to the girlfriend. Since the night of the party, his girlfriend has been hanging out with all of us a lot. She is incredibly sweet, and I'm so uncomfortable seeing her with her boyfriend because I feel like she has a right to know what he did; I would want to know. He's not hooking up with my best friend anymore, but there's no way she's going to tell. I feel like I have an obligation to tell her, but I also feel like I'd be butting in. What should I do? Help!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Source