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Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: I Found My Boyfriend's X-Rated Videos

E Jean Carroll — Wed, 09 May 2007 23:38:24 -0700

Dear E. Jean,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year-and-a-half. I’d seen some video tapes in the top drawer of his dresser, while helping him put away laundry. Of course my curiosity got the best of me and I finally watched two of three tapes this last weekend when he was playing golf. I know I shouldn’t have viewed them; and now I deeply regret doing so.

One of the tapes was of my boyfriend and an old ‘friend’ in a hotel having sex. The second tape was my boyfriend having sex with the same girl while someone else video taped it. At some points, it looked to be a fourth person in the room. The video was very graphic. I’ll spare you the details. The videos are dated from a couple years ago.

I realize this girl is from his past; but what bothers me is he still has the tapes! I can't get the images of him and her out of my head. And it disgusts me to know he allowed someone to shoot the two of them having sex.

How can I tell him how I feel without admitting I violated his privacy and watched the tapes? Should I secretly throw them away? I love him very much and I want to move on but I don't know how I can while keeping my anger bottled up like this. Help!

To see E. Jean's answer, read more

MY DEAR KUMQUAT: Ugh! How horrendous! Give me your halfwit boyfriend’s address. I want to take a running kick at his XXX. Not because he enjoyed a couple of diverting romps, (after all humans lead deep, frenzied, poetic, dangerous, tender, erotic lives); and not because he had himself video’d by a dumb cluck (you must keep an open mind about this), but because he ignored the Rules of Sex Tapes: Shoot it. Savor it. Bury it.

Note: Putting the videos in the top drawer⎯⎯ Traditional in all cultures as belonging to the girl friend⎯⎯ Is not burying them. It’s advertising them.

The wisest course is to forget it. You’ve annihilated the old girlfriend from your mind, do the same with the tapes. However, if you absolutely can’t let the matter rest (and apparently you were nearly flayed alive when you viewed the images), speak to him. Confess you broke his trust and watched the tapes. Then calmly and intelligently ask him to get rid of them. Don’t bully. Don’t judge. Don’t uncork your “bottled up” anger like a jealous dingbat.

Or, you can do what I did when I found my boyfriend’s cache of photos in which he was seen in several surprising positions with a lithe young lady with a vivid shade of red hair. (And they weren’t yogi positions either.) When he walked in the front door after work, I admitted nothing. I simply met him with a smile and two glasses of Veuve Clicquot.

The fact that I was standing in front of a glittering shrine in which hung the sacred Speedo's belonging to two old boyfriends, both Olympic butterfliers, plus every photo I owned of me smooching other guys, said everything I needed to say. I handed him the glass. I also slipped him a particularly heinous shot of the redhead. As he leaned nearer the flickering candlelight of the shrine to examine the photo, I whispered: “I’ll put mine in storage, Mr. Moose Balls, if you put yours.”

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com

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Victoria Beckham Creates Sleeker, Chicer Denim For Spring

FabSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:54:45 -0800

Say so long to dVb and hello to Victoria Beckham Denim. The posh mama, who practically lives in her skinny jeans, is giving her denim a high-end makeover come Spring '10. This time around, the line will focus on funky cigarette styles in classic hues and pastel colors, as well as a vintage range. Denim jackets, boyfriend jeans, cutoff shorts, and leggings are also part of the new mix. With such refinement also comes a higher price tag - the collection starts at $230. Will you participate?

90210 vs. Melrose Place: Which Was More Scandalous?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:30:19 -0800

The Tuesday night CW block made a particularly strong showing this week. Personally, I thought 90210 had one of its best episodes of the season - nice character development, a few teary moments, and some "oh no she didn't" disses. And as for Melrose Place, I've got two words for you: Heather Locklear. Yes, Amanda Woodward is back, and it's quickly becoming clear that the residents aren't going to have it easy any time soon.

So with plenty of drama to go around, which show shocked more? Let's break down all the juicy tidbits and decide the victor when you read more.

90210 point: Well, Annie sleeps with Jasper, and she skips into the kitchen in the morning to tell her parents about her new boyfriend. Debbie invites him for dinner - but once Dixon warns about his druggie reputation, Deb and Harry are less than enthused and forbid Annie from seeing him. She, of course, gets defensive, and as for Jasper's reaction? He tries to kill Navid by pushing him down the stairs at school.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Speaking of crazy murderers, did Michael off Sydney? Sure seems like it after David ransacks his car and finds her bloody necklace in a plastic bag. Now, he's determined to clear Auggie's name (who has since been shunned by all of his friends) and get payback by putting Michael behind bars.

90210 point: Richard and his mom walk in on Naomi with Jamie. (How about the Dean sarcastically calling Naomi "classy?" Ouch.) Naomi admits to Jamie that she was dating Richard for the wrong reasons, and he breaks up with her over it. Her guilty conscience getting the best of her, Naomi then confesses to Richard, too. Jamie finds out and asks to get back together, but unfortunately for him, Naomi had an epiphany during their 24 hours apart - she's still not over Liam.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Like I said, Amanda Woodward is back, and she's out to make Ella's life hell. First she fires Caleb, and then she sends in an agent named Melissa to lure Ella away from WPK as a "test." Oh, and did I mention that Melissa comes on to Ella and the two women make out in a back room? That part totally came out of nowhere - talk about scandalous.

90210 point: Last week Silver's mom Jackie wasn't waking up, and this week starts with her being rushed to the hospital. The doctor tells Silver and Kelly to say their goodbyes, but Kelly refuses after all the years her mother mistreated her. She regrets that decision later, so she finally makes amends and tells Jackie that she forgives her. Jackie passes soon after, and I admittedly got a bit choked up.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Things are looking up for Riley - her jeans campaign is all over magazines - but once Amanda Woodward steps in, she concocts a rags-to-riches fake bio for Riley for PR purposes. Once the press starts asking questions, Riley admits to the lie and things blow up in WPR's face. Amanda seeks revenge by asking Ella to rat on Riley for abusing her sick days for the photo shoots. When Ella won't agree, ruthless Amanda does it herself, and Riley gets fired.

90210 point: Adrianna tells Navid that he was easy to get over because she was never really in love with him. Brutal. Then Naomi discovers Adrianna's stash, and she says good riddance to Adrianna, too. This can't be good for her substance problem.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Can we talk about Violet and Auggie's sex scene on the kitchen counter? Lauren's stripteases make me blush enough already, but this may have even topped that.

90210 point: I still can't stand Jen, but we're slowly starting to see her softer side. Ryan suggests going camping, and she packs a fondue set and a Burberry rain coat - not exactly low-maintenance is she? After she complains a lot, Ryan tells her he's disappointed since he's always bending over backwards for her. She takes his words to heart - even builds a fire! - and opens up about being broke . . . and still married.
Melrose Place counterpoint: In other couple news, David woos Lauren by decorating her apartment like Autumn, complete with falling leaves. But just as things get hot and heavy, she puts on the brakes, because of her "issues" with intimacy. How long are they going to drag this out?

While I really enjoyed 90210, we're talking about scandal here, so I'm going to give this week to Melrose Place. Having Amanda Woodward on your side already makes you a lock, but then throw in the borderline porno - Auggie and Violet, Lauren and David, Ella and Melissa - and it's a no-brainer. Plus, we had a great MP cliffhanger - what exactly is Sydney is referencing in her letter to Amanda that says, "You'll never find it?" You'll never find what?!

Tell me your theories (and what you thought about the episodes) in the comments! And don't forget that if you're a 90210 follower, you can always join the 90210 Superfans group in the Buzz Community.

Photos courtesy of The CW

Look of the Day: Picture Perfect

FabSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:50:22 -0800

Ckim8120 looks like she just walked off a J.Crew photoshoot. Her picture perfect outfit consists of a trench coat, boyfriend jeans, Chanel bag, and perforated booties. However, what really makes her outfit spectacular is that amazing gray ruffled scarf - so dreamy. Work it.

Here's what she has on:

Top: Vintage
Scarf: Anthropologie
Trench: BCBG
Booties: Sam Edelman
Boyfriend Jeans: Adriano Goldschmied
Bag: Chanel

Congrats to ckim8120!

Everyone else, join the Look of the Day group, then submit your looks. I might feature you on FabSugar!

Trend Alert: Winter Retreat

FabSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:30:22 -0800

It's bound to happen. Everyone starts to hibernate as the days get shorter and the temp gets colder. However, that's no excuse to dress drab. I suggest making your Winter retreat a fashionable one via buffalo plaid, sherpa-lined denim, laced boots, and boyfriend jeans. Think Paul Bunyan, or rather, Paulina Bunyan, when styling your warm warfare. Now, all I need is a cabin, fireplace, hot cocoa, and a snuggly stud muffin.

Trend Alert: Silky Boyfriend Shirts

FabSugar — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:00:22 -0700

This is how Ashley Olsen does Summer. Itty-bitty denim cut-offs, retro footwear - clogs! - and a silky boyfriend shirt. We've moved past boyfriend jeans folks, it's on to that tousled, just-left-my-man's-place, vibe. If you ask me, boyfriend shirts are more flattering than boyfriend jeans anyway. With this borrowed-from-the-boys style you can leave a couple buttons undone, roll the cuffs, and sexily have your shirt blow in the wind.

Halle Berry Knows What Works

PopSugar — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:30:20 -0700

Halle Berry stepped out to run a few errands earlier this afternoon in LA. She was back in a baggy shirt and boyfriend jeans, after a weeklong parade of flowy shirts and loose-fitting dresses. Nahla wasn't on hand for today's outing, but Gabriel's apparently pretty good at holding down the fort at home while Halle enjoys a little time solo.

To see more Halle, just read more.

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Trend Alert: The Boyfriend Hat

FabSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:00:22 -0700

We're going to borrow another one from the boys. Menswear is no new trend, but boyfriend jeans, blazers, and boyfriend shirts have had their run. Ever notice how men have such wonderful hat options? Liv has. She wore this incognito navy hat whilst frolicking with her son, Milo, in NYC. Clearly, it was windy, but that much more picturesque. She tied her whole navy look together with it. Bad hair days begone thanks to the boyfriend hat.

Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: Should I Trust My Boyfriend?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,
I hope you can answer quickly! I love my boyfriend. We’ve been together since we graduated from Dartmouth. He’s smart, handsome, funny, and works extremely hard (he’s an investment banker and logs about 14-hours a day); but he does not handle stress well. His job is extraordinarily stressful!

We live together in Brooklyn with my dog, Raisin. Raisin is a rescued Pit Bull, and the sweetest, most affectionate dog in New York. She has beautiful manners, is NOT aggressive, always kisses strangers, wears a big, happy grin wherever she goes and is beloved by all (once they meet her). Her disposition is so tender I am training her to become a pet therapy dog - a “Special Visitor” to children in hospitals.

Last week, my boyfriend was extremely tense, had not slept, lost his temper and kicked Raisin so hard in her back right hip she limped for three days. I told him if he ever laid a hand on her again, I would leave.

Well, last night, I ran out to get some Chinese take out and left Raisin (alone) in the apartment. When I came home, my boyfriend had arrived and Raisin was laying in a corner with both her eyes completely BLOOD SHOT and she had difficulty standing.

He swears he didn’t hit her. But I KNOW he did! I know it! She was perfectly fine when I left. Raisin can’t talk - I am going out of my mind. I’ve been looking online and sudden blood shot eyes CAN indicate “being struck by an object.” Also she is crippled in the front now. What should I do? Do I believe my boyfriend? He swears on his love for me that he had just walked into the apartment before I came back with the food. Help! - Raisin’s Best Friend

To see E. Jean's answer read more

MY DEAR FRIEND: I was so jolted with fear reading your letter, so frightened for Raisin, so worried about you, it will take me all night to calm down.

Although I have no proof, I believe your boyfriend hurt Raisin. A fiend who would kick a dog so hard that she limps for three days is a brute capable of the most violent, stupid, evil, irrational behavior. (And is v.v.v. capable of lying about it.)

I want you to leave the apartment immediately. Tonight! A man who will kick a dog can not be trusted. Take Raisin, go stay with friends. Tomorrow, take her to the vet. The poor creature may have suffered internal injuries.

After you visit the vet, look for a new place to live. Do not speak to the man who hurt Raisin. He is a head case. Do not call him, e-mail him, I-M him, or see him. Then when you find a new place - when he is at work - move every single item you own out of the apartment.

This is not going to be easy. He will try to see you. He will come to where you work. He will swear he loves you. He will cry. He will sob. He will whimper. Do not fall for it. You know what happened. And so does he.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com

Which Famous Beau Is the Hottest Model?

FabSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:23:51 -0700

There's no doubt about it, Jesus Luz, Gabriel Aubry, and Andrés Velencoso, all have model-worthy looks. But being the boyfriends of the hottest celebs probably helped put them on Spring '10's most desirable menswear catwalks. Madonna's man Jesus walked for Dolce & Gabbana, Givenchy, and Y-3; Halle Berry's baby daddy Gabriel did his thing exclusively for Louis Vuitton; and Kylie Minogue's hottie Andrés worked it for Versace and Jean Paul Gaultier. All are scrumptious, but which famous beau is the hottest model?

Theory Plaid Shirt Dress - $295.00	Distressed Boyfriend Jeans, Nightshade Wash - $49.95
Ann Demeulemeester Lace-Up Flat Boots - $1,105.00	Sherpa Collar Denim Bomber Jacket - $150.00
PRPS Military Jacket with Fur Trim Collar in Army Green and Black - $595.00	Women's Cable-Knit Tights - $9.50
Kool Hearts Shirt, Long Sleeve Buffalo Plaid - $32.00	Belle by Sigerson Morrison Suede mocassin ankle boots - $345.00
Jessica Simpson Dress, Buffalo Plaid Shirtdress - $128.00	Nollie Wave Stitch Belt - $16.50
One-Of-A-Kind Patched Boyfriend Jean - $198.00	Current/Elliot Shearling Jacket - $368.00

Rag & Bone Shirred Boyfriend Shirt - $285.00	Stella McCartney Boyfriend Shirt - $845.00
Silk button-down shirt - $58.00	Marion Collared Shirt - $139.00
Splendid Button Down Shirt - Mud - $128.00	Button Down Silk Shirt - $69.00
Pull-over shirt - $58.00	Rag & Bone Shirred Boyfriend Shirt - $295.00
Kimberly Taylor - $220.00	Splendid "Boyfriend" Striped Shirt - $128.00

Bailey Barr Grosgrain-Ribbon Wool Hat - $90.00	Obey Angler Hat - $34.00
Black Bowler Hat - $50.00	Classic Mens Fedora - $19.99
Rvca Thompson Fedora - $30.00	Charcoal Bowler Hat - $48.00
Apocolypse Hat - $30.00	Black Super Soft Trilby Hat - $28.00
Bailey Barr Hat - $82.50	Burgundy Homburg Hat - $585.00