PopSugar

Do Tell: How Can You Tell If a Guy Is Boyfriend Material?

DearSugar — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

I've been in the dating world for quite some time and although it's fun to get to know new people, I'm more interested in finding a special someone. There are definitely some weirdos out there, but I can usually tell within a few hours of meeting a guy whether or not he's boyfriend material. If the conversation flows easily, if he shows he cares by listening when I talk, if there's good chemistry and if he can make me laugh, I'm inclined to think there's potential there!

But what about you? What qualities do you look for in a guy when figuring out if he's boyfriend material?

Source

Hump Day: Is It Safe to Use Tight Condoms?

TresSugar — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we’re not ready to have sex without condoms, but he says that the ones that we’re using are too tight. We're going to get bigger ones of course, but in the meantime, is it safe for us to use these? I heard that condoms can stretch a lot and fit anyone." To see what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more

You can fit pretty much any condom over your arm, so the complaints that some guys may not fit might be more about their perception than anything else. Unfortunately, we don’t yet live in a world where people can buy condoms with the length and width clearly printed on the label, much less in lots of different sizes. But don’t worry - you have some options.

First of all, adding a little lubricant (a couple drops inside the condom before putting it on) will decrease the chances the condom will break by minimizing the formation of air bubbles in the head of the condom. It will feel better, too. (Avoid lube on the shaft of the penis, which can make the condom slide off.) Latex has more friction than skin does, so a little extra lubricant on the outside can help a lot, too. This probably goes without saying, but never use oils with latex condoms; they can make them break in about 30 seconds!

Another option is to change what brand of condom you’re using. American-style condoms like Lifestyles, Trojan, and Durex are made from a somewhat thicker latex so they’re less sensitive and more tight. That’s not always a disadvantage, since some guys find that the decrease in sensation helps them last longer. But if your boyfriend is looking for something with more stretch, try a Japanese-process condom like Kimono, Skinless Skin, or Paradise. These condoms are made from a thinner, stronger, and stretchier latex so you both get more sensation. And they fit larger penises more easily.

You could also try one of the condoms that feature a larger head. The extra room at the head means that the latex slides back and forth, which provides extra sensation. The shaft of the condom is about the same width as other brands, reducing the chance of it sliding off. Just make sure to use a little lube on the inside since the extra friction can be a bit too much for some guys. Pleasure Plus and Trojan Twisted are popular brands.

Lastly, check out the new Skyn condoms. Instead of the traditional latex, they’re made from polyisoprene. It’s a much stretchier and more sheer material than latex, so they feel great for both people. It’s also a good option for people with latex sensitivities. Polyisoprene is a form of rubber, just like latex, so keep oils away from it.

In closing, here's a list of some of the more common brands and their dimensions. Have fun, and don't forget - if you have a sex question, send it to TrèsSugar!

Ask Casa: Help Me Find an Affordable Rug That We Both Love

CasaSugar — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 07:00:10 -0700

Hi Casa,
My boyfriend and I are furnishing his apartment, and are having trouble finding a rug we both like! The furniture we have already bought is modern, but I like to mix modern with more traditional accents so that in five years we don't hate the look we created. To do that, I want to get a rug that isn't too modern, but isn't very traditional (I've ruled out ultra-geometric patterns and he's ruled out florals). We both like this rug from Crate and Barrel, but the 6x9 ft size is really out of our price range at $600, plus, we we would need something closer to 5x8 feet. I also like this Angela Adams rug, but it's also out of our price range!

I want to find something with ocean-inspired colors to go with our green tea colored couch, and complement how I envision the living room evolving over time, but I'm having difficulty finding something we like that doesn't cost too much! I think I would be willing to spend $400 maximum on the rug. To make it more difficult, I'd prefer that it be made with natural materials! I know, it's a tall order!

It would be awesome if you could help me!

Many thanks in advance,
Dr. No

To see my suggestions, read more.

Hi Dr. No,

That's a tall order, but I like a woman who knows what she wants! So, natural fiber, under $400, not too modern, somewhat undulating wave/stripe pattern, ocean-inspired colors, and something that will work with your green-tea-colored sofa. I think I got it.

My first suggestion is to look at the Pottery Barn Teen Side Stripe Rug ($299 for a five-by-eight size). It's made of wool with a cotton backing, and has a deep blue color and striped pattern that might work for your boyfriend's pad.

Or, you might want to try the Ikea Hellum Rug ($129 for five-by-eight size), which is a more turquoise blue color and features wool construction and stripes, too.

For a more undulating pattern, check out CB2's Camo Rug ($299 for five-by-eight size). Don't be turned off by the name: the wavy stripes, color pattern, and wool construction are all points in its favor.

I hope this helps!
Casa

Say What? Madonna Knows She's Bootyful!

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:09:05 -0700

"Just watched the HBO special. It was OK. My booty looked good and you should see how good it looks in person. It looks Bootyful!"

- Madonna talks up her booty in a love ~~letter~~ fax to her then security guard boyfriend James Albright. The fax from 1993, along with other Material Girl artifacts, are being auctioned off.

You Asked: Can Our Relationship Work?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I love beautiful things. Sometimes they are expensive (such as an Hermes Birkin) and other times they are cute outfits at H&M. I splurge and I save and then I splurge again. I'm never in credit card debt, and I spend my own money, making sure all the bills are paid, I've contributed to my retirement accounts, and I have put some money away for savings and emergency funds.

My boyfriend also has a well paid job; we live together and he saves most of his money. He doesn't have any habits that require money, we don't go out often to eat, but we have fun and we love each other deeply. However, he always argues with me and gets upset over my spending of my money. Whether it's a new pair of shoes or a new handbag, I sometimes want to just lie and not tell him I have something new or how much it cost. He says it's not the amount of money I spend, but the fact that I love to spend money on expensive things that are materialistic and excessive. I've tried budgeting and making changes so I don't end up spending an entire paycheck, but I can't give up my Louboutins and Chanels. They are who I am and I love fashion, beauty, style and glamour.

Can our relationship work? Are there solutions for both him and myself to make it work? We talk about it every few months when I purchase something, getting upset and then getting over it. I'm tired of the cycle, and I wish there was a way to change this! We come from different backgrounds and he is against materialism and strives for simplicity and happiness in the smallest things. Help! - Shopaholic Sophie

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Shopaholic Sophie,

Clearly this cycle of arguing goes a lot deeper than your spending habits. Since he views material things differently than you do, you're going to have to make some choices if you want to save your relationship because it's pretty clear that it'll suffer if you continue to spend the way you have been.

Have you discussed the future of your relationship? Your boyfriend could be worried about being able to support you and your expensive taste if marriage and children is in your future. Since I don't know exactly what it is that upsets him, the best advice I can offer you is to talk about it. You don't want to get to the point where you have to lie to him to avoid an argument so I suggest you lay everything out on the table asap.

Compromise is key in every relationship, but I also feel it's very important to be the real you. Since you like the finer things in life and he enjoys a more simplistic lifestyle, you guys are going to have to figure out a way to accept each other for who you are. You don't necessarily have to see eye to eye in every aspect of the way you live you lives, but if your spending habits are putting a wrench in your otherwise seemingly good relationship, something gotta give. You can either limit your spending in order to salvage the relationship, or you can go your separate ways and hope to find a man you care equally for who will accept you for the person you are. I like the finer things in life too, but Sophie, make sure you aren't masking a deeper issue with your need to have new things because at the end of the day, you're boyfriend is right - material things really are just that. Good luck.

Source

You Asked: Are We Compatible?

DearSugar — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We now live together and both work full-time jobs, do well financially, love to travel together, plan the future (marriage, home, kids) and according to our friends, we are a great couple. I'm 24 and he is 26 and we are happy, however I've been feeling more frustrated lately about certain things. We disagree about spending money. While we do have a joint account that we use for rent, bills, and groceries, we have separate accounts for our own needs. He doesn't spend much and does not see the value of anything material - he thinks shopping for expensive things is ridiculous and feels we can do more with our money than purchasing beautiful handbags, shoes and accessories. I love fashion and shopping. I have no debt and I pay my credit cards in full. There are times I need to rein in my self-control when I see something out of budget, but I never shop beyond my means.

Another area is health. I am definitely careful about what I eat and have maintained a healthy weight since high school. I love chocolate, the occasional fries, and indulging when going out. He's the opposite. He wants to eat the healthiest foods at all times and never eats fried or fatty foods when we go out. If I cook something too high in butter or too salty, he asks if I will cook with less next time. He also pushes me to exercise so I can stay healthy. I take two to three workout classes a week, and I feel that is enough for me.

Overall, he just wants me to be the best I can be. He's a very smart person with three degrees from Stanford and a great job. He loves his family, he's a good friend, and he truly does care about me; it's just that he is critical without realizing that what he says makes me feel pressure to be perfect. He really sees it as helping me, and always asks me to help him be better in any way.

I want this relationship to work. I've thought about breaking up, but I break down just thinking about it - I love him a lot and I know he loves me too. Is there any way to make this work? What should I do? - Feeling the Pressure Pamela

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Feeling the Pressure Pamela,

I don't blame you for questioning your relationship. As we all know, no one is perfect, so when you're dating someone that wants you to be just that, it can feel incredibly overwhelming, even leaving you critical of yourself for no good reason. Everyone has different opinions on materialism, but the fact of the matter is you're entitled to do whatever you please with your own money. If you're paying your bills on time, and not dipping into your shared account or retirement funds, I don't see what the problem is. Treating yourself to nice things, if you can afford them, is perfectly normal if you ask me.

My concern here, Pamela, is your boyfriend's issues with control. It's very clear from his strict eating/working out regimen that he's disciplined and he's trying to push you to be the same way. Giving into your vices every once in a while is healthy - that's what makes life fun!

If you want this relationship to work, he must understand how you feel and what it is that makes you tick. Having such a controlling boyfriend will only lead to greater problems down the road so it's imperative to get to the bottom of these issues sooner than later. If your likes and dislikes stray too far from one another, this relationship just might not be the right fit. While love is extremely important, compatibility is really what it takes to have a successful relationship. Good luck.

Source

Do Tell: What's Your Definition of Perfect on Paper?

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0800

I'm sure you've all heard the saying "he's perfect on paper" - you know, the guy who went to an Ivy League school, the guy who comes from a good family, who's caring, generous, and of course good looking. While that description might sound good to some, it's far from perfection to others. So ladies, once you've decided he's boyfriend material, do tell, what's your definition of a guy that's perfect on paper?

Source

You Asked: I'm Fantasizing About My Ex

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating the most amazing guy for almost a year now. We are compatible on every level and our sex life is wonderful. Things are going so well that we plan to move in together at the end of the Summer and are considering marriage in the future. The only problem is I can't stop fantasizing about a guy I used to see off and on. He was out of the picture for a while but now he's back. He's not at all stable boyfriend material, but we have the most intense conversations.

I know intellectually that my boyfriend is "Mr. Right" and that this guy is "Mr. Wrong," but why do I feel so incredibly attracted to him when I see him? I am not a cheater - so that's not the issue. I just want to know why I feel this way and whether it's a sign that something isn't quite right between me and my current guy. Or am I just afraid of commitment?

- Hooked on Mr. Wrong Mandy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Hooked on Mr. Wrong Mandy,

If you know your ex is trouble and you recognize that your attraction to him is potentially harming your current relationship, then I can't help but wonder why you continue to see him or participate in "intimate conversations" with him. While I can't say if it's a fear of commitment or a mismatch with your boyfriend that's causing these fantasies, one thing I do know is that you can't continue to have a close relationship with both.

It's time to cut off all ties with your ex for good and focus your energy back into your current relationship. If you continue to carry deep feelings for your ex or anyone else then I would take some time before moving in with your guy to determine if you are in fact ready to make that commitment. Even if you and your boyfriend are compatible on every level, it's possible that the deeper attraction and connection just isn't there. But you'll never know if you don't put your ex out of your mind and find out for yourself.

Source

Sugar Shout Out: YSL Comes to San Francisco

PopSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:08:12 -0800

The Yves Saint Laurent exhibit at the De Young Museum, San Francisco
Pumpkin soup is the perfect Thanksgiving starter
TV quiz: Who said that line?
Before and after: a basement goes big
Do you prefer Vanessa Hudgens with or without bangs?
What are you most looking forward to post election?
How can you tell if a guy is boyfriend material?
Unbelievable work excuses according to you
Healthy recipe: sweet and salty pumpkin seeds
Do your kids have a budget?
Three pups vs pumpkin battles
People alter their budgets to accommodate gadget purchases
Pranking Sarah Palin: Funny or too mean?

Sugar Bits - Tea and David's Split Possibly Due to Billy Bob

PopSugar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:31:25 -0700

Rumor has it David Duchovny and Tea Leoni recently separated because of Tea's relationship with costar Billy Bob Thornton. David supposedly found "explicit text messages" from him on Tea's phone, leading to the split.- Daily Mail
Ryan and Redmond O'Neal were both charged with felony possession of methamphetamine, following the drug bust at their house, and will be arraigned on Nov. 13. - TMZ
Lisa Bonet and her boyfriend Jason Momoa are expecting another baby. This will be Lisa's third child and her second with Jason. - People
The rumored sex tape between Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi, the teen he cheated on Christie Brinkley with, supposedly exists. Bianchi's lawyer is considering suing since she did not give consent before being taped, while Cook claims not to know about the material. - NY Post
Nancy Reagan has been hospitalized after she fell and broke her pelvis and is expected to make a recovery in six to eight weeks. - AP
Jay Leno is being sued by the estate of Macy's heir John W. Straus, who alleges that Jay was illegally sold an antique car during a fake auction. - AP
Kevin Costner and and his wife Christine are expecting their second baby. It will be his sixth child. - Entertainment Tonight

Source