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The How-To Lounge: Bridal Shower Etiquette

DearSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Traditionally a bridal shower is an opportunity for women to get together to "shower" the bride in the presents that she’ll need to make a home. While certainly times have changed in terms of wedding etiquette, generally, bridal showers have remained the same. To find out some basic shower etiquette and ways to make this traditional event more contemporary, read more.

Typically the shower is thrown and planned by the maid of honor and/or a female relative - the bride’s mother may be involved in the planning, but she's not in charge of the occasion.
Women who are not invited to the wedding should not be asked to attend the bridal shower. However, of the wedding invitees, feel free to ask everyone from coworkers to great-grandmothers.
Nowadays, it’s not uncommon to have a co-ed shower, which is usually thrown at night and is more similar to a traditional engagement party. But if you're planning the occasion, be sure to check in with the bride and groom and see what works for them.
Showers usually take place four to eight weeks before the wedding day in order to ensure the bride isn’t completely overwhelmed with scheduling right before the big day. If multiple showers are being thrown, the more time that’s given the better. You want the bride’s shower to be special, not another thing she has to stress over.
Formal invitations are expected for bridal showers. If you're following a specific theme, make sure to either utilize it in the look of the invitation or mention it within. While the invites can include an insert mentioning the couple’s website and gift registry, it's best not to include that information on the invitation itself.
Though many showers incorporate games and themes, neither of these are necessary. Just make sure that whatever is chosen works for the brides and keeps in mind that women of all ages will be attending.

Bridal showers may not be as exciting a bachelorette party, but they should still be fun, so don't be afraid to think outside of the box and try something totally untraditional!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Party Foul: Not Greeting Your Guests

partysugar — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:30:42 -0700

At female-centric events like baby showers or bachelorette parties, it's easy for cliques to form and cattiness to flourish. Recently, my sister attended a bridal shower where the majority of guests went to the same high school. However some girls, despite knowing my sister, were cold and unfriendly. To make matters worse, the hostess did not say one word to her! While I understand that everyone present may not get along, it's totally unacceptable for the hostess to ignore her guests. It's up to the hostess to ensure that gossip and grudges don't ruin the party. This means that she must put aside any hard feelings and greet everyone equally.

Have you ever been to a party where the hostess made you feel unwelcome? Please share your stories below!

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Must Read: Colin Cowie Wedding Chic

partysugar — Tue, 26 May 2009 08:00:58 -0700

Colin Cowie is one of the world's most extravagant party planners. He's known for his outrageous chicness and attention to detail. While he's planned stylish soirees for Oprah and other famous celebrities, he's also helped many brides create the perfect wedding. His latest book, Colin Cowie Wedding Chic ($26.40), is an extensive guide that provides ideas for celebrating every moment of the big day. It's a great resource if you're getting married. To find out more about it, read more.

Pros:

Cowie leaves no detail undiscussed. The book is broken up into ten informative sections including bouquets and other ceremony flowers, centerpieces, reception decor, ritual and ceremony, etc.
The tone is conversational, yet informative. It's a very easy read.
It's filled with inspirational ideas (many with corresponding color photographs) taken from real weddings that Cowie planned.

Cons:

The book's focus is on the wedding day. There is no mention of other wedding related events such as the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, etc.
Many of the weddings illustrated are lush and over the top making it obvious that they were planned with an unlimited budget.

It's a hard covered heavy book: you won't be able to toss it in a purse and bring it to a meeting with caterers.

Imagery: The spectacular photographs make this book. Each page has at least one picture, and the entire tome is filled with hundreds of beautiful color photos.

Overall: If the sky is the limit for your big day or if you're in need of wedding inspiration, get yourself a copy of this book. However, if you're looking for a knowledgeable manual that discusses every aspect of planning a wedding - choosing an event planner, bridal party etiquette, planning the rehearsal dinner, etc. - you might want to consider another book.

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Five Bridal Shower Theme Ideas

TresSugar — Mon, 04 May 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Bridal showers might not have the flair of bachelorette parties, but they should be just as fun! There's a lot of etiquette to consider when planning a traditional wedding shower, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun with it. Here are some theme suggestions that could make the event even more exciting for the bride and the guests. Source

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How-To: Register For Your Wedding

CasaSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:00:15 -0700

Planning your wedding can be stressful, but the fun part is registering for gifts! Unfortunately, some people get carried away at the thought of all the presents coming their way and register spontaneously, not methodically. You have to remember that you're going to live with these gifts, and your friends and family are spending real money on them, so you better like them! Beyond that, you should think about what you need, not what you want, so you can really "set up house" - that's kind of the point. I have a few tips that will make it all easy for you. To hear them, read more.

Consider your timeline. If you're having any sort of engagement party, try to register by the time the invitations for that party go out, making sure you've covered all the price points. Many of your friends and family will want to buy your engagement and wedding gifts as soon as they hear about the engagement and get it out of the way. Don't feel rushed; you can always go back and add more items later on. If you're not having an engagement party, about nine months before your wedding day is a good time to register; it doesn't make you seem as if you're either rushing or procrastinating.
Do your Spring cleaning, and take note of what you already have and what you need for your home.
Then, get together and make a list of things you both want for your home.
Before you start checking boxes, cruise around to a bunch of stores and decide which one or which few suit your tastes the most. Stick to three stores or fewer to keep things uncomplicated, and make sure one of them is a national department store like Bloomingdale's or Macy's.
Most major stores have some sort of registry system, if not an online one. However, if you love a certain boutique or specialty store, they may not. But most will be more than willing to work something out with you, so just ask!
Go through all the questions. Figure out what kind of return policy each store has, how shipping works, whether they take phone orders, whether they have an online database to track orders, etc. Your older generation of friends and family may only want to shop by phone or in store, so there should be something available for them. And it's ideal to be able to track the orders as they come in, so you can add more items at different price points, or remove items if need be.
Use our downloadable registry guide to make sure you've covered all the bases for your housewares, and go ahead and register with each store, giving as much detail as possible to make it easy on guests. Choose size, color, brand, etc.
You can also use MyRegistry to register online from a variety of sources, giving your friends and family a central place to shop for you.
OK, so let's say you already have all the table runners and Le Creuset pans you could ever want. What then? Nowadays it's not uncommon to have an alternative registry. If you'd like, you can register with a charity or even to pay for your honeymoon. Although it's not the most proper of moves, if you really need help with your finances, you can even register for stocks or cash for big ticket items you may need.
Once you're registered, there's some etiquette you should follow for getting the word out. It's a bit taboo to send your registry information out with your invitation. If you have a website for your wedding, you can post it discreetly there. It's also common to have your maid of honor send out the details with the invitations for your bridal shower, and the same for the bachelor party. You can ask your family members to pass the word along to the guests as well. And, if your guests ask you up front where you are registered, go ahead! If you are sending out a package to your guests with other details about the wedding (maps, hotel information, etc.) apart from the invitation, you can slip in a printed card with the registry information.
Most registries remain active for at least a year after the big day so guests can make purchases after the fact. And many stores will give you a discount on the items that weren't purchased, so that you can buy them for yourself.

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Wedding Parties Week in Review

DearSugar — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:21:30 -0700

Just in case you missed any of the wedding party week coverage here on Dear, you can check out my recap below!

Coed parties are the new trend, but are they a good idea or a bad idea?
Learn all the proper etiquette when it comes to throwing a bachelorette party or bridal shower.
What do you think? How many pre-wedding parties are too many?
Managing family issues during your wedding can be a real struggle, so check out my advice for dealing with a demanding sister-in-law, estranged relatives, and a familial rift.
Would you want to know what goes on at your man's bachelor party?
Make sure to check out the newest installment in Dear's wedding timeline series for your wedding planning needs.
Bachelorette parties can range from totally wild to spa-day relaxing. What kind do you want?
When it comes to party entertainment, are bridal shower games and penis paraphernalia dos or don'ts?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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A Little Extra Flair At Your Afternoon Affair

DearSugar — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 10:50:20 -0700

Dear Sugar
My friends and I are throwing a bridal shower for our girlfriend. As a courtesy to our gay friend John, who is a good friend of the bride, we've decided to invite him. John's name was the only one on the invitation. However, John has decided to bring his new boyfriend as his date. We don't bring our boyfriends and husbands to girl parties, so why should he? How do we politely tell him that it isn't appropriate to bring a date to a shower? Tactful Tammy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Tactful Tammy
I actually think in this case, it's OK to let him bring a date. After all, he is coming to an all female bridal shower (most likely a first for him) and the date is for support. As much as you think of him as "just one of the girls," he isn't a female - he's a male.

If it's at someone's home, it's really no big deal to have another body there. If it's at a restaurant, figure out how much it will cost you for another plate and see if you can get the girls to each throw a $5 spot your way.

Throw him a little slack on this one. Etiquette at these events isn't second nature. The do's and don'ts have been drilled into your heads since you were young ladies. He's a guy, he has no idea what's appropriate; nor should he. I am sure this will be a lovely luncheon with way too much food and girl talk. A little extra flair at this quaint little affair never hurt anyone. I'd let this one slide ladies.