PopSugar

You Asked: When Should My Daughter Meet My Boyfriend?

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am 29 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend (also 29) officially for almost a year - we dated off and on for about four years. I'm a single parent of a beautiful 8-year-old daughter and I have been toying with the idea of the two meeting, but I am just not sure when. I have been very cautious because my daughter has not seen her father since she was two (and even then she only met him two or three times), which is his choice not mine. I dated a guy a few years back and he met my daughter right way (she was three a the time). We ended abruptly, but for months she wondered where he went and I'm worried that she'll get attached again. If things don't work out between us, I don't want it to be a huge disappointment for her.

Also, he has never once asked me to introduce them, and that makes me kind of worried that he's not ready or doesn't want to. How should I bring up them meeting? Any thoughts would help.

- Tricky Introductions Tess

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Tricky Introductions Tess,

Unfortunately, inviting any man into your daughter's life runs the risk of leaving her disappointed if something doesn't work out, but eventually it's a step you'll have to take. However, because of that constant risk, it's all the more important that the men you introduce to your daughter are committed to being a positive influence in her life whether it's for a day, a year, or a lifetime. If you've known this man for over four years and have been committed to him for nearly a year without an expressed interest from him to meet the most important person in your life, I have to say that something does seem a bit off.

Though it may just be a matter of his own insecurities from the idea of being present in a child's life, it's absolutely something that needs to be addressed before you consider letting the two meet. Give him the opportunity to reveal his concerns, fears, and weaknesses. I certainly hope none of what he discloses is a deal-breaker, but do keep in mind that if he can't be a supportive person to your daughter then he's not someone you want around - trust me on that.

If he's open and excited about the chance to get to know her then the next step is talking to your daughter. Make sure she understands that you will always be her first priority and that she can always come to you if she has questions or concerns. It's also a good idea to ease both of them into it, so once they meet for the first time, don't suddenly make it an everyday occasion. Move slowly and cautiously - the balance between being a mom and having a social life isn't easy - so no matter what, keep the lines of communication open.

Source

Eight–Year–Old Boy Wants To Go To Law School . . . Now

babysugar — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 05:00:04 -0800

When we asked you if you would let your child pursue a career, you were pretty split on the issue. In Olympia, Washington, the 10–year–girl needed her parents to accompany her through her work day. However, things are different in Brazil.

To see what a boy genius is up against, read more.

The New York Times reports that an eight–year–old Brazilian boy passed an entrance exam for Paulista University Law School. Problem is the institution is keeping him from attending as they want him to first complete grade school and high school.

While the child is obviously bright beyond his years, it doesn't seem to be an unreasonable request to have him finish the regular academic regimen. He'll likely breeze through ten years of schooling in no time! But, his papa doesn't agree. He's taking it to court to let the judges rule on the decision.

In the meantime, the Education Ministry has been asked to bar elementary school students from taking the test.

Tell us, do you think it's irrational to ask the tot to finish his regular schooling?
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You Asked: His Ex Is Making My Life Miserable

DearSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for about five years, and we just moved in together two months ago. He has a 7-year-old son who comes over on the weekends. His son's mom is still dead set on trying to win my boyfriend back. She will call him several times a day, everyday. Sometimes it's to let him talk to his son, but most of the time it's not. In fact, she will tell him that he can't talk to his son unless he talks to her first. For a while she would just tell him that she misses him and that she wants to work it out, but a few days ago she actually asked him out on a date!

When she found out that we had moved in together, it got much worse, and she's now calling him up to 40 times a day! When she's not bugging him, she spends her time constantly badmouthing me. I trust my boyfriend, but it does cause fights because I don't understand why he even bothers talking to her.

I understand that they have a son together so they have to talk, but am I asking too much by expecting him to just hang up on her when she goes on one of her rants? Am I going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life? She has threatened to hurt me, and she talks badly about me (and my boyfriend) to their son. Is there anything we can do to tame this situation?

-Concerned Cora

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Concerned Cora,

This certainly is a difficult situation, especially because there is a child involved. You have every right to feel frustrated, and I agree with you that your boyfriend should hang up as soon as his ex begins saying anything negative about you or your relationship. It sounds like he's worried that she won't let him see his son if he doesn't give into her wants, which is understandable, but try to explain to him that their relationship is not healthy for anyone involved, especially their son.

Though I don't know the specific custody arrangement, I do know that she can't refuse to let him see or speak to his child without legal repercussions. You might want to discuss the possibility of getting a formal custody agreement in place that's legally binding. That said, even if there is a formalized agreement, you're still going to have to deal with this woman for as long as you're with your boyfriend, and unfortunately, you can't control all of her actions or hostility. The most that you can do is keep an open dialog with your boyfriend and try to manage your reactions to the situation. Keep in mind that it's always better to be the bigger person. Best of luck to you.

Source

Would You Let Your Child Have a Career?

LilSugar — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:00:57 -0800

While most kids her age are skipping rope on the playground, 10-year-old Courtney Oliver is scrubbing in for surgery. The college graduate is a certified veterinary assistant at the South Bay Veterinary Hospital in Olympia, Washington. And since the animal lover's peers are in elementary school, the law requires Courtney's mom to stay with her while she works.

Would you let your lil prodigy move through life at a rapid pace?

You Asked: My Husband Cheated and Had a Secret Child

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I just found out a secret that my husband of eight years has been keeping from me. He's the father of my three girls, (ages 11, seven, and seven months) and he just told me that he has a 2-year-old daughter, which means he cheated on me while we were married.

I can't help but wonder if there was something I could have done differently to prevent him from wanting to be with someone else. I know it wasn't my fault, and that what he did was wrong, but I still love my husband and want to work things out. Am I making the wrong choice?

- Betrayed and Broken-Hearted Brittany

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Betrayed and Broken-Hearted Brittany,

I'm glad you said that this affair wasn't your fault, but I'm not sure you truly believe that. If you did, you wouldn't be wondering what you could have done to prevent him from cheating. He was the one who made the horrible choice to sleep with someone else. By doing that, he disrespected you, your family, and he betrayed your trust. This had nothing to do with you. If he was unhappy in the marriage, then he should have talked to you about it instead of going behind your back and having an affair.

I know you want this marriage to work, but in order for that to happen, you're going to need to find a way to forgive him so you're not always worried that he'll cheat again. The bottom line here is that you can't trust him right now and trust is one of the qualities that is a must in a relationship. With that said, are you sure that he's no longer sleeping with this other woman? Are you sure he hasn't had any other affairs, or more children with other women?

Only you can know if you are making the right decision or not. I know your heart is telling you to stay with him, but what is your voice of reason saying? Remember that you are in charge of the well-being of your three children, so think about what kind of a man you want in their lives. With them in mind, I know you'll make the right decision. Good luck.

Source

The Gifted Child: Hip Holiday Gift List For Grandparents

LilSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:00:52 -0800

Ask most grandparents what they want this holiday season and they'll tell you time spent with the next generation. Ask any kid what they want from grandma and grandpa and expect the world. Each family's relationship with grandparents takes on its own form, but mas and pas are known to spoil their little darlings at birthdays, during the holidays and any given day of the week. Take control of the gift giving this holiday season by setting some ground rules and giving them a short list of items your wee ones would love and need. Classic toys like the Radio Flyer Little Red Wagon ($19) allow grandparents to celebrate vintage toys of the past - just don't say "vintage"! - and will be loved for years to come. Here are some other hip holiday suggestions to share.

For a full widget of adorable gifts any child would be lucky to receive from grandma and grandpa, as well as a guide to making a wish list you can share with family and friends, read more.

Want to make a holiday wish list for your tots and share it with the family? Log in to ShopStyle, hover over items and click "wish list." You will create a wish list just like mine that you can share with family and friends.

Is Child Obesity Another Form of Child Abuse?

babysugar — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 05:00:24 -0700

The average weight for a 14-year-old boy is roughly 112 pounds. When a child packs on a score or two more than that, most people start to notice the thicker waistline. So when a South Carolina boy tipped the scales at 555 pounds, it wasn't just friends and strangers that noticed - local authorities did, too. The teen's mother, Jerri Gray, was taken into custody for child neglect and may face jail time if found guilty. The working mama blamed her work schedule for feeding her son unhealthy meals, but claims she has been trying to help him lose weight.

Do you think child obesity is a form of child abuse?

Should CPS Investigate the Heene Parents For Child Abuse?

babysugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:30:34 -0700

In the case of Richard Heene, the acronym UFO may mean something else: Unruly Father Overacts. While the giant Jiffy Pop saucer may have attracted the whole country's attention, it was the parents' history of taking their three children on storm chases that made me raise my eyebrows. While I may have little in common with people who race after hurricanes, I would like to think that moms and dads always have one goal in mind - the safety of their children. Putting babes (unbuckled and all) in the back of the family car to videotape record-breaking gusts of wind and funnels of debris seems flat-out mad. But it was the silver balloon that had Child Protective Services (CPS) questioning the Heene household.

Officially declared a hoax, it seems the larger concern now is making sure the children are being cared for in the best possible environment. One source claims Richard Heene used his sons as pawns to gather media attention. While it may be questionable to parade one's offspring around on television, it is another to ask children to lie and support felony-inducing behaviors. Not only are the boys learning how to break the law, they are being dragged through a media circus and are sure to face judgment thanks to their parents. Do you think CPS should investigate the parents to see if they are guilty of child abuse?

Child Safe Tee: Kid Friendly or Are You Kidding?

LilSugar — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:00:50 -0800

If your small fry tends to slip away while you're in crowded places, would you put a shirt with your cell phone numbers and his allergies on it? Child Safe Tee ($18 - $20) garments do exactly that. The shirts were created for children that wander off or get lost in crowded places like amusement parks and street fairs. For parents wary of posting their personal info for all to see there's a top with a flip up panel that hides the information. What's your opinion?

Partner Yoga Pose: Child Cobra

FitSugar — Fri, 23 May 2008 14:30:00 -0700

If you're looking for a way to increase flexibility in your spine and also get an amazing stretch in your lower back, then grab a friend and try Child Cobra. The person on the bottom is the one benefiting the most from this partner pose, since the person on top is pressing all her weight into his hips and back.

For a detailed explanation of how to get into this read more.

Partner #1 (man) begins in Child's Pose with his arms extended out in front of him.
Partner #2 (woman) gets into Downward Facing Dog, with her hands on Partner #1's hips. Partner #1 clasps Partner #2's ankles with his hands.
Now Partner #2 lifts her shoulders and lowers her hips, resting her thighs on Partner #1's back, coming into Cobra. She wants to put all her weight into her palms evenly. To increase her stretch, she can lower her head back between her shoulder blades, and look up at the ceiling or behind her.
Stay like this for at least five breaths but longer if you both love it. When it's time to release, Partner #2 lifts her hips, comes back into Downward Dog, and then stands up. Then they switch roles.

Source

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Dieter the Monkey Wheelie Bag - $98.00	Percival the Dino Wheelie Bag - $98.00
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Radio Flyer Classic Wood Rocking Horse - $119.99