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Tech Dating 101: Changing Your Relationship Status

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Spring has sprung, and it's not only the time for budding flowers and April showers, it's the time of budding romances too! But with so much new technology out there, the art of dating has become more complicated than ever - we can totally feel Drew Barrymore's pain in He's Just Not That Into You when she laments about having to keep up with several different technologies just to get rejected.

So in the face of this uncharted territory, geeksugar and DearSugar are teaming up to bring you a series about love and the technologies that connect us called Tech Dating 101. We'll answer some of the burning questions you might have about both subjects, like our first question this week:

How long should I wait to change my status from "Single" to "In a Relationship" after I begin dating someone?

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Oh how I wish there was a concrete answer for this one, because I get asked this all the time. But as you know, all relationships progress at different speeds, so you really have to look at it on a case-by-case basis. If you're in a committed, monogamous relationship, I don't think you should think twice about changing your status, but before making any announcements to the world wide web, be sure you and your love interest are on the same page. If you're both willing to make the change, do it together and consider it another step in the right direction. Just make sure you're confident in the future of your relationship, as it could be rather embarrassing to have to change your status back to "single" a few weeks later.

If your guy is not willing to let go of his single status, however, you might want to reevaluate the relationship. I'd take his hesitation as a telltale sign that he's either not ready to make a commitment to you, or he's not willing to expose your relationship to his family and friends.

While this seems like a simple task, I do understand what a big step this is. At the end of the day, you're going to have to communicate with your partner and do whatever feels right for you and your relationship. Or, you could always take the easy way out and leave your relationship status blank!

To find out what geek has to say about relationship status, and how to tell from your tech habits if you're officially taken, head on over to geeksugar.

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Do Tell: How Long Do You Date Before Changing Your Relationship Status?

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I'm Hurt Helen wrote in yesterday asking for advice and venting her frustration about the fact that her boyfriend hasn't changed his online profile from single to dating, and I've got to say, I'd be pretty bummed if I were in her shoes too.

Using online social networks is definitely the easiest way to update your friends and family about what's going on in your life, but broadcasting your relationship status to the world wide web is a pretty big deal. Being ready to take that step is a personal decision, so do tell, how long do you usually wait to change your profile when entering into a new relationship?

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You Asked, We Answered: Best of Tech Dating 101

GeekSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:05:46 -0700

The holidays are approaching, and you know what that means: time to switch into friends and family overdrive! Although you may be spending more time than usual with Aunt Laura, that doesn't mean you have to let your budding relationship with Mr. Fabulous go by the wayside - there's always technology to keep you two in touch. Check out some of my favorite tips to help you navigate the rocky waters between tech and dating.

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8 Fitness Date Ideas

FitSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:57:23 -0800

Whether you're dating or in a relationship, all that eating out and endless hours cuddling on the couch can definitely put a damper on your healthy lifestyle. That combined with eating an enormous amount of decadent food around the holidays can equal weight gain. After indulging this Thanksgiving, take some time away from the family (and the dinner table), and get some exercise with your honey. Here are some of my favorite ideas.
Source: Getty

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Patrick Dempsey Talks to Us About His Latest Scent

BellaSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:00:36 -0800

When Patrick Dempsey launched his first scent, Unscripted, late last year, I have to admit I was skeptical of another celebrity fragrance hitting the market. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the subtle, clean scent, and even Mr. Bella - whose idea of a fun night out involves climbing mountains and camping in the woods sans showers - is a fan.

Patrick has been bitten by the fragrance bug once again. The launch of his latest scent, Patrick Dempsey 2 ($30), pays tribute to the intimacy between two people. (That's his wife in the ad campaign.) Expect to see at least two more fragrance launches from Patrick in the future, but in the meantime, check out my one-on-one interview (sigh) with the sexy actor when you read more.

Are You Facebook Friends With Your Exes?

GeekSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:44:00 -0800

An essay in this week's New York Times hit close to home. The author, mourning the breakup of a long-term relationship, used Facebook to keep up with what his ex was doing. I've covered this topic before in Tech Dating 101 posts; from using Facebook to get to know a potential date to how and when to change your relationship status. I've even offered my advice for how to cut an ex out of your digital life. He was pretty distraught over the breakup, but still couldn't resist the occasional peek at her page:

"Every once in a while, when I was feeling particularly pathetic, I would log on to her Facebook page and listlessly click through the photos of a life that was, somewhat disappointingly, continuing without me."

While I still feel it's best to avoid an ex on Facebook, especially after a tough breakup, actually pulling the trigger to delete an ex from your list of friends is tough.

John Mayer Adds More Sex to His To-Do Lists

PopSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:30:39 -0800

John Mayer stopped to greet a fan as he strolled along the streets of NYC on Saturday. He wasn't able to be in LA for last night's American Music Awards, as he had a few shows in the Big Apple over the last week and is due to take his Battle Studies promotional tour to Canada tomorrow. John has been doing a fair share of press for his new album and spoke recently with The New York Times about his record as well as his ladies' man status. Here's more:

On dating: "I should be having sex with more girls. It’s crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble. I can’t even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It’s a nightmare."
On taking musical risks: "There’s nothing I’ve done musically that’s been a wild misstep. Basically, you’re saying, can you risk failure? And that’s something that I’m struggling with right now, because in my life, I would like to do something in music that risks a misstep."
On letting personal relationships take over his music: "What is the odd man out - is it the record or the coverage? I’m not going to let it be the record. I think if you’re listening to Battle Studies and you think it’s a record about high-profile relationships, I haven’t done a good enough job."

To see more of John in NYC, just read more.

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Ask an Intern: I'm Jealous of My Boyfriend's Female Friend!

TresSugar — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 08:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, our fabulous new intern dispenses advice to a woman who is beginning to wonder if her boyfriend's female friend is "just a friend." If you have a question, you can submit them here.

This week's question:

I've been dating this wonderful guy for two years now. Lately, though, I've gotten really insecure about myself and the relationship.

During the last six months, there's been a girl that he has started hanging out with more frequently. They go to school together and often have breakfast or go to sporting events. (I see him about twice a week.) I feel like I should relax and let him have his female friends, but I can't get over the fact that they might not just be friends. (He told me once he didn't think men and women could be platonic friends.) I get this awful sick feeling every time he mentions her name, I don't know if its jealousy or insecurity, but I just feel bad!

I tried talking to him about it a few months ago, and all he said was that I'm the one for him and he can't help it if his friends are hot. (That didn't help me feel much better!) I know we are in an adult relationship and he is allowed to choose his friends, so how can I change the way I think and feel so that I'm OK with it? Help!

Insecure and Hating It. To hear what an intern has to say about this, read more

Dear Insecure and Hating It,

I often shy away from confronting people with my insecurities and worries, but I have come to realize that if I am having a dilemma then it’s best to just talk about it. Have you asked your boyfriend if he is romantically interested in this other woman? If not, then you should. It’s a legitimate question and don’t be afraid to ask him what their relationship is and how he feels about her. It’s good to talk about things and get them in the open.

If you’re not ready to talk, maybe ask him if you can join them on their outings and then use the power of observation to see what their relationship is like. But remember, it’s good to be direct. I’m personally tired of playing games and while the natural inclination may be to find yourself a new cute guy friend to stir jealousy, I doubt that will work. Good luck!

Meet Matchmaker Amy Andersen, Part I

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:00:00 -0700

I'll admit it: one of my guilty TV pleasures is The Millionaire Matchmaker. I find the orchestrated pairings entertaining and stomach-churning at the same time. Of course, there are other matchmakers hard at work without reality TV contracts.

In the San Francisco Bay Area, Amy Andersen works with 800 singles, half of whom are women. Amy's company, Linx Dating, doesn't call itself a "millionaires" club; instead it fashions itself as a service for both "successful" men and women. Of course, you have to pay to play. Amy's fee starts at $6,000 for eight hand-picked matches. $30,000 gets you 15 introductions, a nationwide search, and a cocktail party. Amy also offers date coaching, image makeovers, wardrobe overhauls, fitness training, and networking cocktail parties.

This sort of "high-end" matchmaking can be controversial, so I thought it would be enlightening to ask Amy to share her take on matchmaking and modern love.

Why do people come to you for your services?

Amy Andersen: People come to me because they are educated and hardworking, (typically) young professionals who are interested in finding a like-minded, quality match. Often our clients have dabbled in online dating (to mixed results), most have attempted the bar scene to unpleasant outcomes, and due to their success and taking their professional careers seriously, they refuse to date their colleagues. Thus, the resources shrink, and choices become limited and sparse.

To find out what qualities Amy's clients look for in a date, and to see how she would answer critics, read more.

What are the top qualities a man looks for in a woman?

AA: I would say being physically fit is way up there -and keep in mind, fitness can be wide ranging; she doesn't have to be an Ironman triathlete, just someone who cares about her health and enjoys fitness - along with being confident and happy with who she is. It's also important she has a life outside the relationship - in other words, not clingy. Being warm and nurturing is also way up there!

What are the top qualities a woman looks for in a man?

AA: A woman looks for good DNA! She wants a man who is going to be a good provider - so she looks for financial stability. Our clients are not looking for a guy jockeying between jobs and floating around trying to figure out what to do with his life. She also looks for physical appearance, often wanting him to be fit or tall. And finally someone who is a good communicator, not a game player.

What would you say to critics who think you're setting up gold-diggers with men who want trophy wives?

AA: We couldn't be more opposite of matchmakers who only represent men and simply have women in their databases. Unlike The Millionaire Matchmaker or other firms, we represent both men and women, and not just average but exceptional professionals. So many of our female clients are just as, if not more, successful than their male counterparts. A critic could speculate that men gravitate toward the network to meet a highly affluent woman! It really could not be further from the truth that we work with gold diggers. Everyone in Linx is an equal, and each client pays for the service. Thus there are not unusual expectations, or women desiring rich men, or men desiring a casual hookup.

Can money buy you love?

AA: Money can buy you the option to meet someone great, but it can’t buy you chemistry which leads to love. That is left up to two people and fate.

Come back tomorrow to find out what Amy thinks about "hooking up" and traditional gender roles.

Grab Bag! Problems in Your Relationship? Just Do Lunch!

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:00:18 -0800

Lunch dates might be the key to a happy relationship. - Glamour
How long do men think sex should last? - Em & Lo
Today is the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. - Feministing
Police ticket underage kid for holding a beer in a Facebook picture. - The Awl
Pride and Prejudice would be much better with a 20-page sex scene. - Jezebel
Should posting an inappropriate comment on the Internet get you fired? - GeekSugar
And here are some cats sitting like humans. - Urlesque