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Do Tell: Where Would You Hold a Destination Wedding?

TresSugar — Tue, 19 May 2009 09:00:00 -0700

I'm heading to Paris later this year to be a bridesmaid in my good friend's wedding. Anywhere they chose was bound to be a faraway destination for many guests, considering she's from Chicago, her fiancé is from Australia, and they live together in England. They chose Paris for the wedding, since they got engaged there, and well, it's très romantique!

While a destination wedding can be inconvenient for guests, and extra planning for the bride and groom, it's also a great way to mix your wedding celebration with travel. Since it's hard to get hundreds of people to attend, a destination wedding can also be more intimate than traditional hometown weddings.

If you were going to organize a destination wedding, where would it be?

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Casa Interview: Destination Wedding Planner Alison Hotchkiss (Part 2)

CasaSugar — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 09:00:47 -0700

Alison Hotchkiss, the creative director of Alison Events and the author of Destination Wedding Planner, has plenty of smart advice on planning destination weddings. If you, or a couple you know, are planning a destination wedding, I highly recommend Alison's new book to lend a guiding hand in your planning process. You can read the first half of the interview here. Alison has more great advice in the second half of this interview.

CasaSugar: When you plan a destination wedding, do you try to use local artisans, caterers, and other services?

Alison Hotchkiss: I definitely try to use as much local support as possible. It’s cost-effective, puts money back into the community, and is a positive way to support the area. I will sometimes hire a local planner to serve as my eyes and ears locally, and then I have someone to help us when we’re there. Especially in smaller beach communities, a lot of negotiations and contracts are over a handshake, not a formal agreement, so it’s important to respect the way that the local community does business.

To see Alison's advice on everything from wedding favors to organizing activities, read more.

CasaSugar: What’s your take on wedding favors? Have there been any that have stood out? Have there been any alternatives that were creative or impressive?

Alison Hotchkiss: One of my favorite favors was from my Costa Rica wedding. All of the guests were given Holga cameras preloaded with film, so everyone was able to take photos throughout the ceremony. There was a big beautiful glass bin where everyone could drop their film and they could reload throughout the evening. At the end of the evening the bride took all of the film, processed it, and put it on the Pictage website, so everyone could see all of the photos that were taken.

Another trend I’ve been seeing is people paying it forward by offsetting people’s carbon footprint for travel. This is often seen on the bottom of the menu or program. Other couples have donated to schools or children’s community shelters. I’ve seen a lot more of that than people purchasing favors. I think it’s a waste of money to do a favor these days when there are so many other things you can put your money towards.

CasaSugar: How do you deal with gifts at a destination wedding?

Alison Hotchkiss: I rarely see gifts at a destination wedding. Most people know to not bring gifts and to ship them in advance. If somebody were to get gifts they’d have to pack them and bring them back. You’d have to arrange for shipping, and oftentimes if you’re staying at a hotel that’s something they can execute for you.

One other great story is that some of my clients, in lieu of wedding gifts, the client included a notecard in the invitation asking everyone in lieu of gifts to “pay it forward” and do something for someone else, be it a family or an organization in their name, and then to write it on the notecard. Then, when people got to the wedding, the guests had the same card that had their name and their table numbers on it, so they replaced the name cards with the pay it forward card, and we had this really awesome display of what people had done to pay it forward. They ranged from deep, meaningful stories to really silly stories, such as “Oh, I paid for the person’s toll behind you,” and someone else said, “I rescued a bird off the side of the road.” That was a really cute idea and a great way to say, Let’s not focus so much on material gifts, and focus more on giving back to the world.

CasaSugar: Once guests get to the destination, have you found a fun way to organize activities? Do you let guests know a schedule beforehand, or spring it on them as a fun surprise? How would you say is the best way to organize this?

Alison Hotchkiss: I’d say the majority of people these days are creating their own wedding websites, which is the best way to communicate all of the information that can happen. It can have directions, wedding activities, local things to do and see, all of that. Or, rather than asking people to sign up beforehand on the web-site you can have people, during the rehearsal dinner, sign up for the following day’s tours. We have used a chalkboard so it was more fun than writing it on a 8.5x11 piece of paper. Different activities we have done are a snorkeling adventure, massage, or horseback riding. It’s nice to not have to determine things so far in advance.

CasaSugar: Given the economic climate right now, if you were going to recommend one area where guests can squeeze their budget, what can be downsized?

Alison Hotchkiss: I’d say music. We always tell people to go with a DJ vs. band, it’s thousands and thousands of dollars for a band. A band can run from $2,000 to $10,000. That’s one area. Another is limiting favors. You can also choose beer and wine instead of an open bar, or limiting the time of the open bar. Pick your battles and consider what’s most important.

Another area is the flowers. Instead of doing flowers, consider using a combination of herbs, flowers, succulents, and fruits. We did a wedding recently in the tropics and cut bougainvillea petals from the local branches and made a carpeted aisle for the ceremony. It was so vibrant and so colorful, and it was free. Use what you have locally.

CasaSugar: What would you have at your destination wedding?

Alison Hotchkiss: All I know is I want it to be somewhere tropical (with good surf), laid back, and I would be totally happy with fish tacos, a DJ, and local beer, Oh and I think I am going to wear a short dress and lose the shoes!

CasaSugar: That sounds excellent.

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Casa Interview: Destination Wedding Planner Alison Hotchkiss

CasaSugar — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0700

Alison Hotchkiss, the creative director of Alison Events and the author of Destination Wedding Planner, took some time out of her busy wedding planning schedule to offer CasaSugar readers some words of advice on planning their weddings. If you, or a couple you know, are planning a destination wedding, I highly recommend Alison's new book to help lend a guiding hand in your planning process.

CasaSugar: Congratulations on the book! I love the tone and the fun look of this planner.

Alison Hotchkiss: Oh thank you! I thought that the imagery and the lighthearted tone would encourage people to enjoy planning their weddings.

CasaSugar: What was your experience with working with Chronicle Books [the publisher of Alison’s book]?

Alison Hotchkiss: It was fun to work with Chronicle. They were really open to all of my suggestions and it felt like a very collaborative project. It felt really good, and they treated me like family. Chronicle is very supportive. They’re very cool people over there. I feel very happy to have them as my publishing company.

CasaSugar: How did you get started as a destination wedding planner?

Alison Hotchkiss: I’ve been an avid traveler since childhood, and my initial goal was to be a meeting planner, since my understanding was that they could travel all over the world. So a couple years after doing that I fell into the right situation helping with someone doing day-of event wedding planning. I realized there was a need for destination wedding planners; there were only a small number of us. The cover of my book shows the first wedding I planned. The bride on the cover is Emily Nathan, who got married in Kauai. I gave that wedding 150 percent of my energy, and I realized how much I loved it. That was seven years ago. So now, I’ll travel pretty much anywhere, but my specialty is tropical locations or mountainous locations. I love going somewhere new and learning about the place, the culture, and making new friends. It’s a blast.

To hear about some things a couple should consider when planning a destination wedding, read more.

CasaSugar: What would you say are some of the most important points of advice for a bride who’s starting to make decisions about her destination wedding?

Alison Hotchkiss: I think it’s important to narrow it down to one specific area if possible. Often couples will come in and say, “Somewhere in the tropics.” We try to help couples to determine what they really want for their destination wedding, whether they want their weddings to be activity-based, culture-based, etc. We ask couples to sit down and make a list of what the most important things in the wedding are, and then offer help in narrowing it down even further. Oftentimes weather is a consideration; the time of year will narrow the choice by determining what month is best for the location.

If people are on a budget, that cusping month (such as in May/June in Mexico), can save hundreds of dollars on your room rates in June, and the likelihood of a tropical hurricane is much less, though the weather may be sweltering hot. You have to just be flexible.

CasaSugar: What are some of the most fun weddings you’ve planned? What would you say the elements are that are universal?

Alison Hotchkiss: I think the idea of a destination is making it about a long weekend or a holiday for people and less about it being one day. We often find that we turn it into a four-day weekend starting with a fun cocktail reception, and then plan activities for the next day. Instead of rehearsal dinners we’ve had rehearsal barbecues down on the beach, and we’ve done the wedding brunch the morning of the wedding instead of the day after the wedding.

You don’t want to overwhelm your guests and feel as if they have to do everything, but it’s great to have options and have lots of fun things to do and experience and the culture and the local community.

I would say Costa Rica was one of my favorite weddings, and we also did a wedding in Sundance, UT, and those were both really fun. One was centered around surfing, the beach, and the tropics . . . it was a really laid-back group. The other wedding, in Sundance, consisted of people skiing, drinking hot toddies after skiing, and sitting around the fire.

People also have to consider, “Who are your guests?” Be mindful of who your guests are. Are they elderly? Are there kids coming? Do you have teenagers? Have babysitters services available if you need to, and if there are teenagers, find cool teenager things to do, have a movie night. If there are elderly guests, make sure there’s always a chair for them, and have a waiter dedicated to making sure they’re comfortable. I think that people get a little caught up in the planning and forget about all of the people who are attending. You have to remember your audience.

Alison has a lot more advice for brides, so make sure to check back on Monday for the second half of this interview!

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Home Library: Destination Wedding Planner

CasaSugar — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 09:00:34 -0700

If you're an excited bride-to-be considering a destination wedding, you'd be well advised to pick up Destination Wedding Planner ($19.95). Written by wedding planner Alison Hotchkiss, creative director of Alison Events, this book is full of all the advice that a bride-to-be could possibly need for plotting the perfect far-flung wedding. I just received the book yesterday, and I haven't been able to tear myself away from its pages.

After pausing to take in the book's gorgeous cover (the photo was taken from a wedding on a Kauai beach), I admired its handsome, smart design. A ring binder spine makes it easy to flip through, and tabs labeling topics such as "Getting Started," "Location, Location," and "Pulling It Off" allow a harried bride-to-be to turn to the correct section at a moment's notice.

Each chapter begins with a collage of inspirational photos, printed on heavy cardstock. The cardstock page flips to reveal a hidden pocket, perfect for storing inspirational ideas, photographs, invitation samples, or lists. Throughout the book, Alison's tone is pitch-perfect. She conveys practical advice and inspired ideas in a welcoming tone that reminds me of my best girlfriends. The book is also really fun to read, with a combination of lists, highlighted tips, quizzes, and pages reserved for notes and contact information.

I definitely needed this book last year, when I was planning my destination wedding, but my loss is every other bride-to-be's gain. And for $20, this may be the smartest item you budget into your wedding!

Awkward! Destination Wedding Invitee Wants to Invite Friend

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario for you that she needs you to weigh in on.

"I have been invited to a destination wedding in Mexico. The bride has graciously invited me plus a guest. The problem is that I am not currently dating anyone and I am not really comfortable inviting any of my male friends. I may know some of the other guests, as I went to college with the bride, but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. While I'm not opposed to traveling alone, I feel the whole trip would be more enjoyable if I had someone with me. Can I bring a platonic girlfriend to the wedding or is that misusing the privilege of being invited with a guest? Is it appropriate to ask the bride?"

Source: IMDB

Are You Cut Out For a Destination Wedding?

CasaSugar — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 10:00:30 -0700

Have you been considering a destination wedding? To help you make your decision, Alison Hotchkiss, the creative director of Alison Events and the author of Destination Wedding Planner, shares a quiz from her book. Find out if a destination wedding is the right type of wedding for you and your fiancé when you take this quiz!

To get started on the quiz, click here.
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When it comes to travel:

I can take it or leave it; I usually just travel for work or to visit my parents.

It’s a lot of trouble, but it's almost always worth it.

I’ll go anywhere, anytime. What’s life if not an adventure?

When it comes to my wedding, I want:

Perfection over adventure; everything should go off without a hitch.

Something more unique, even if it means sacrificing control.

An event that people will remember forever - a real adventure!

When I picture who will be at my wedding:

It’s my special day, and I want to be surrounded by tons of friends, family, and co-workers.

I have a list of must-have guests, and the rest are just icing on the wedding cake.

I want a small, intimate wedding with a select group of people we’re closest to.

My family and my fiancé’s family:

Get along great and live in the same state or even town.

Have met before and live in the same approximate part of the country.

Don’t really know each other and live a million miles apart.

Which of the following describes your feelings:

It's important to follow tradition if you want your wedding to be meaningful.

It's important to strike the right balance of respecting tradition while doing your own thing.

It's important to be unique if you want your wedding to be memorable.

I want my wedding to be:

A one- or two-day event where I can visit with people at the reception, then get on with my honeymoon.

A several-day event where I can have more than one opportunity to visit with my guests.

A group vacation where everyone can really get to know each other and I can spend quality time with everyone.

For my honeymoon, I’d rather:

Sneak away where no one has any idea where we are or how to find us.

Have the option of seeing other people if we want.

Hang out with my friends and family and still be able to sneak off at the end of the day.

My guest list is made up of:

People who are elderly, don’t like to travel, are on a fixed income, and have to be there or my day will be ruined.

A lot of friends, but also a lot of people whose feelings I don’t want to hurt.

People who will come no matter where I have the wedding.

When things go wrong:

It ruins everything, including my day.

I’m pretty good with rolling with the punches.

I think, “This will make a great story someday!”

Dear Sugar Needs Your Help: Do We Have to Go to This Destination Wedding?

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Not Into it Isabelle need your help. Is she obligated to go to this outrageously expensive destination wedding?

Dear Sugar,

Recently my fiancé got in touch with a childhood friend. In the three and a half years I've known him, I never once heard him mention this guy. Well it turns out this friend is getting married in a year, three weeks after us. It's a destination wedding to Jamaica, and it will probably be at least $2,500 for the both of us!

I'm all for weddings, but I feel really awkward about going to this one, for many reasons. I've never met the guy so how close can they be? Also, this wedding is going to be really small and intimate, so I would feel really uncomfortable sharing this special day when I've never even met any of these people. Plus we're taking two weeks off for our wedding and honeymoon, so how can I take another week off three weeks later? We're also trying to save for a house, and $2,500 is a lot of money to spend for a couple I don't even know!

What do you think? Should I quit being such a stick in the mud and agree to go and make a vacation out of it? Or should I put my foot down and tell my fiancé that it's just not in our budget?

-Not Into it Isabelle

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Fab Finding Follow-Up: Destination Wedding

FabSugar — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 07:20:21 -0700

On Wednesday, I challenged all you Fab Finders to put together an ensemble for a destination wedding, which is a great excuse to wear a summery dress in the middle of Fall. I started things off with this Nicole Miller Keyhole Print Silk Dress, available for $385 here, then asked you to go Fab Finding for two sets of accessories: one set with a summery look and another for autumn. (To learn what a Fab Find is and how to make one, click here.)

I really love the ensembles you came up with, which included lots of strappy sandals, wrap cardigans, and dangly earrings; AtlantaNoleGirl gets extra points for actually finding some aptly named Mexican Wedding Earrings, available for $42 here. Now, onto the great Summer and Fall looks!

Look #1 by AudreyStar, who used a different summer dress with a brown and peach palette that works great for Fall. She also included sunglasses for stealthily staring at the best man.

View 9 Photos ›

To see the rest, read more

Look #2, by AtlantaNoleGirl, who chose superb studded bags for both seasons and a cute cable-knit cardigan.

View 9 Photos ›

Look #3, by Jennifer76, who went with not one, but two sets of accessories for Fall, including some fabulous metallic pumps and these great exotic-looking bangles.

View 10 Photos ›

Look #4, by Margaretha, who boldly paired the dress in autumn with pointy-toed boots and a cool wrap and chose a great sea-green bag for summer.

View 9 Photos ›

Look #5, by WhiplashGirlchild, who found what was probably my favorite summer bag/shoe combo, and the most unexpected. Coincidentally, she chose the same Fall shoes as AtlantaNoleGirl!

View 9 Photos ›

Come Fab Finding With Me: A Destination Wedding

FabSugar — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 11:55:14 -0700

More and more couples are hosting destination weddings in the Fall and Winter, which are a great excuse to wear a summery dress smack dab in the middle of Fall. But if you get a dress that's too tropical-looking, you won't get to wear it again for a whole year.

I recommend buying a versatile dress that will look summery with strappy sandals but that could also be worn in the Winter when paired with the right accessories. One example: this Nicole Miller Keyhole Print Silk Dress, available for $385.00 here. Now, let's all go Fab Finding for two sets of accessories: one set with a summery look and another that will be warm enough for autumn. To learn what a Fab Find is and how to make one, click here. To see some of my favorite online stores, read more

Here are some of my favorite online stores to try:

Active Endeavors
Banana Republic
Bluefly
eLuxury
Girlshop
Jildor Shoes
Neiman Marcus
Net-a-Porter
Nordstrom
Scoop NYC
Shop Intuition
Shopbop
Styledrops
Target
Zappos

Also, we've added some all-new features to Fab Finds, which you can read all about here. As always, let us know if you have any problems!

DearSugar Needs Your Help: My Sisters Are Unsupportive

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

DearSugar and Feeling Alone Faith need your help. She's planning her dream wedding, and her sisters are too jealous to support her. She's feeling terribly alone during this happy time in her life and doesn't know how to make things better. Do you have any tips for her?
Dear Sugar,

I'm having a destination wedding soon, and while I'm extremely excited, I'm also upset and let down. To make a long story short, I have two very jealous, very self-centered sisters. My one sister thinks that the sun rises and falls with her, and she is a self-proclaimed "princess." My other sister is jealous too and I've never trusted her.

I helped both of my sisters immensely during their wedding planning, but now that it's my turn, they can't be bothered. They've even decided not to come. Instead of supporting me, all they do is sit around and talk badly about me. Sometimes my mother calls and tells me the hurtful things they are saying and it breaks my heart. For the first time in my life I'm in a good relationship and am incredibly happy, but they are too begrudging to be a part of it. I am a single mom who has struggled my entire life up until meeting my fiance, and it seems like the better I do personally, the less family support I have.

I don't want their behavior to overshadow my special day, so how do I deal with my sisters who feel too threatened to come to my wedding? And, what type of relationship should I expect to have with them after the wedding? My friends say I should be happy they are not coming, but they are my family and I'm incredibly hurt. - Feeling Alone Faith

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