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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Follow My Dreams or My Heart?

DearSugar — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Needy in New York need your help. She has a great job in the fashion industry, but her boyfriend of a year and a half just asked her to move to Connecticut with him so he can attend his first choice law school. She loves him dearly, but isn't sure if giving up her dream job for the man she loves is worth the risk. Do you have any advice for her?

Dear Sugar,

I have been in a wonderful, healthy relationship for about a year and a half. I am 25 years old, living in New York, and working hard to accomplish my dreams. My boyfriend is my biggest supporter, but he is also working hard to accomplish his goals.

He recently took the LSAT and got into some great law schools in New York, but just yesterday, he got accepted to his first choice school which is in Connecticut. He starts in the Fall and has asked me to move there with him.

Though I love my job in New York, I could probably find a fashion editorial job in Connecticut, on a smaller scale of course, but should I make the move with him in hopes that our relationship will continue to grow? Should I stick to my dreams and ambitions here in New York and hope we can withstand the distance? I always said my career would come before anything, but I feel that my priorities have shifted over the years. What should I do? - Needy in New York

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Nightmares More Common For Women

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Whether you remember your dreams or not, research shows that women suffer from having more nightmares than men, and they're more emotionally intense too. Those dreams can be divided into three categories: fearful dreams (like being chased), losing a loved one, or confused dreams (where you're lost, or things don't make sense). The scientists discovered that there was a strong correlation between actual events and anxieties the women experienced in their lives, and things they dreamt about.

Another interesting finding is that women dream more often about family members, negative emotions, and indoor settings, while male dreams contain more physical aggression (like fighting or attacks). Both genders dream about sex, but men dream about actual intercourse when women dream about kissing and fantasizing about other people.

Since men and woman are so different, it would make sense that we dream differently too, but I'm curious, how often do you have vivid, intense nightmares?

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Do You Ever Wake Up Laughing or Crying?

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Dreams can be so bizarre and seem so real. There have been times when I've dreamt about something horrible happening in my life, like being lost or someone passing away. In my dream I'm crying, but then I start crying for real, and my sobbing actually wakes me up. It's such a strange feeling to wake up so sad and scared, but such a relief to realize that it wasn't real.

I've also had dreams where something funny happens, and I wake up laughing hysterically. It's almost as good as having an orgasm in your sleep.

So what about you? Have you ever woken yourself up laughing or crying?

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Interpretation of Dreams: What Does Rush's Dream Mean?

TresSugar — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 08:30:00 -0700

It's happened to us all. We're hanging out by the water cooler and a coworker suddenly comes around and says - "I had the strangest dream last night . . ."

I try to avoid ever doing this to anyone but my closest friends. Why? Because sometimes you are revealing more than you want - or know. Dreams, after all, are "the royal road to the unconscious," as Freud said.

Take the following dream. I was totally baffled when I heard Rush Limbaugh tell his radio listeners about a recent dream he had about our Commander in Chief:

"I had a dream that I was a slave building a sphinx in a desert that looked like Obama."

Crazy, baby! I have my theories about what this dream signifies. What do you think it means? If you want a clue, check out a recording of what he says beforehand. Just read more.

Why Are Dreams so Bizarre?

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I love to hear about other people's dreams because they can be bizarre, especially the ones about sex or relationships since I'm convinced they're trying to tell people something juicy! Dreams can be so weird sometimes and according to Real Simple, there's actually a biological reason for it. In everyone's head, there's a part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logic and reasoning. When you're snoozing, it goes temporarily dormant so your thoughts go uncensored. Dreams bring up snippets of old memories and recent experiences, but they're not necessarily in any semblance of order so they can seem illogical on the surface. Sometimes if you dig deeper and try to figure out what the images and events in your dreams symbolize, they can give you insight into your true feelings. Well that is for some of our dreams anyway. Other dreams may not be profound at all and could just be a patchwork of nonsense.

Experts believe that whether they make sense or not, dreams can help you emotionally understand new experiences, prepare you for change, help you cope with stress or trauma, and help you solve problems. Some experts also believe that dreams can foreshadow the future. So if you pay attention to your dreams, tell me, do they tend to have hidden meanings or messages behind them, or are your dreams usually a jumbled potpourri of absolutely nothing?

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Would You Buy a Raffle Ticket to Win a Dream House?

CasaSugar — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:00:15 -0700

Raffle tickets go on sale today for the Marin Dream House, a 3,200-square-foot, 3-bedroom, 3-bath $2 million bay-front home in Marin County, CA. The proceeds from ticket sales ($150/each) benefit Community Action Marin, one of the area’s oldest and largest private social service providers for low-income families. This modern home may not appeal to everyone's tastes, but regardless the ROI is definitely high for whoever wins! And better yet, the raffle benefits a good cause. Would you buy a raffle ticket to win a dream house?

Do Tell: How Often Do You Have Sexual Dreams?

DearSugar — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

It's a rare but exciting moment when I wake up in the midst of a sexual dream. I've only had a handful, but let me tell you - they're almost as good as the real thing! We dream about sex because it's such a powerful human drive, and in our sleep we have no control over what surfaces in our subconscious minds. So you may have a sexual dream about your present lover, a past lover, someone you've had your eye on, or even a celebrity (did someone say Brad Pitt?). You may have surprising dreams about people you've never really thought of (like a co-worker), or dreams where your sexual identity has switched (maybe you're involved in a lesbian love fest when you're actually heterosexual). Or maybe, you'll be lucky enough to have a sexual dream where you actually climax. So tell me ladies, how often do you have tantalizing sexual dreams? Care to share any of the details?

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I'm Asking: Do You Dream About Work?

SavvySugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:30:45 -0700

Dreams are supposed to offer an escape from reality and transport us to far away lands, but sometimes the realities of the day catch up with us at night. I have woken up from vivid dreams about conversations with my co-workers, confrontations with my manager, and conundrums that never happened in waking life more times than I'd like to admit. It seems obvious that the trials of our careers stay in our subconscious and spring up at night, but it can be jarring and quickly turn into one of those residual "Yikes! Did I forget to take that final!?!" nightmares we all have. Do you ever dream about work when you dose off?

Photo courtesy of CBS

I'm Dreaming of a White Ice Cream Cone...

FitSugar — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 08:45:00 -0700

Do you ever dream about food? It happens to me on occasion, but I never really thought out the implications of the dream, I just thought I was hungry or possibly craving a food that my diet would not let me eat -- That is until now.

I may be stepping on DearSugar's and YumSugar's territory here but ediets got the scoop on what your foodie dreams mean, so here is the run down:

For starters, seeing a green, leafy salad is your body's way of telling you to take better care of yourself. Eat better from now on to avoid sickness and bad health.

Ice cream suggests good luck and much success in your love life, so go ahead and eat the whole thing. Beware, though, if your sundae has nuts on it -- you're in for some craziness or confusion. They can also be translated as a pun on "testicles" and refer to your sex life. Bottom line: A few nuts on your ice cream means you're destined for a wild, passionate relationship.

Chocoholics can rest easy with their dreams -- any dream about chocolate denotes good health and happiness, as well as a fondness for a pampered lifestyle. Obviously, you were meant to live it up in the lap of luxury. Indulge and buy something nice for yourself.

To see a cake or cookies shows friends will soon do something nice for you. If the sweets look ugly or burnt, however, you're in for a short spell of bad luck. You didn't think you were going to have your cake and eat it too, did you?

Are you dreaming about pasta, coffee and/or fruit? Then read more

Carb-cutters may think dreams of pasta are just signs of withdrawal, but macaroni is actually a warning to be frugal and save money. Noodles generally warn of a series of various small losses which, if not planned for, could really add up.

As for the main course, eating a roast is never a good sign (it shows betrayal at home); savoring a helping of any stew means a secret admirer will reveal him or herself to you; fish forces you to make a choice between what you really want and what's practical; and a sandwich suggests you're under a lot of pressure, but that you have the ability to juggle your stresses and come out ahead.

Grab a handful of crackers during your shut-eye and you're probably too picky when it comes to male companionship. Lay off a little and see your love life shift into high gear.

Salty foods like potato chips or pretzels are a sign of complete chaos. Fights and quarrels could be in your near future, so try to stay cool around family and friends -- and keep future damage control to a minimum.

A hearty breakfast has much meaning. Any dream with meat in it (ham, sausage, bacon, etc.) suggests you've overindulged in materialism. Cut back your budget a little, unless, that is, there are eggs on your dream plate as well. Eggs signify excellent financial gains, so you should be back on your feet soon enough.

Like a little fruit or juice with your morning meal? Oranges mean investments will pay off, apples suggest you work too hard and too long for not enough recognition, and grapefruit denotes hidden talents yet to be discovered.

Drinking coffee is also extremely revealing. Drink alone and you need to put in some extra thought before making an important decision. Drink it with someone else, and you likely have stronger feelings for them than you acknowledge.

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Speak Up: Active Dream Vacation

FitSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 11:00:04 -0700

I need a vacation as much as the next gal, but I must admit I have a hard time just lying on the beach. Even with a good book, I can only lounge for a day - max. My dream vacation is full of motion, and I have long dreamed about going on women-only surf safari.

After reading about the Women's Quest week-long bike tour of the wine country, which is practically in my backyard, I am thinking this could be my dream vacay. Biking through the rolling hills of Northern California, practicing yoga in the afternoons, and wine tastings for happy hour all sounds super sweet. Both adventure trips sound divine to me. As Summer begins to wind down, tell me your active dream vacation.