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Awkward! Reusing a Ring Designed For a Previous Engagement

TresSugar — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:02:09 -0700

An engagement ring has so much symbolic value that people often get a little obsessed with its design, cost, and the method in which it's presented. A reader writes in with the following question:

"I was previously engaged and the engagement was broken. The ring that I wore was one that I designed with my mother and grandmother to become a family heirloom and was purchased by my family. My ex had nothing to do with the picking out or paying for the ring.

I am now in a relationship with someone else and we have been discussing marriage. He knows about the ring that my mother now has and has no objection to giving it to me if we were to get engaged. We have also discussed getting it engraved or adding a band to it. Is it tacky to 'reuse' this ring?"

What do you think - is it OK for her to reuse this ring? Any engagement ring sagas to share?

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Does a Ring on That Finger Only Mean One Thing?

TresSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:06:33 -0700

Since I'm neither married nor engaged, I've never thought twice about wearing a ring on my left-hand ring finger, especially a big, chunky ring that's a far cry from a solitaire diamond. But a few weeks ago, I was at a party, and some dude spotted one of the big, chunky rings in question and asked, "Are you engaged?" I wanted to answer, "um, yeah . . . to a clown."

Wedding rings are super-traditional, but they are a handy way to tell if people are attached or not. However, until you're betrothed, I say wear any ol' ring you want. Do you agree, or do you prefer to leave that finger blank until it's loaded with something symbolic?

Where Do You Stand? Choosing a Ring Together

DearSugar — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Generally speaking, most women know when a proposal is on its way - they may not know the time or the place, but they can usually sense it. And since that step is such a big one, some women like to be in on it, especially when it comes to the ring! But if you shop for it together, the cat's out of the bag and then it just becomes a waiting game. I'm torn on this one, because while I wouldn't want to be unpleasantly surprised, I wouldn't want to know what to expect either. So what about you? Where do you stand on picking out your engagement ring with your husband-to-be?

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Group Therapy: What Should I Do With the Ring?

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0700

My ex gave me a beautiful diamond ring as a Christmas present the year before last. We've since split up, and I've started a new relationship. My ex and I decided that since the ring was not an engagement ring, there was no need for me to return it.

At first, I was happy to continue wearing it as I had moved on from the relationship and simply enjoyed wearing it as a pretty piece of jewelry. However, as soon as I entered a new relationship, I felt it was totally inappropriate, as I know that I would not feel comfortable if my boyfriend wore jewelry from one of his exes.

Now I'm not sure what to do with it. I don't have a receipt and I'm worried that I won't get the full value of the ring if I sell it. I guess I'm just looking for some suggestions or ideas from people who've been in the same situation.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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You Asked: Can I Reuse My Old Engagement Ring?

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:03:22 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I was engaged two and a half years ago but things didn't work out and we broke up. I still have the ring, which I picked out and I still love - it's my absolute dream engagement ring.

My new boyfriend and I have been talking pretty seriously about getting engaged, and I was wondering if it would be horrible to use my old ring again. I was thinking of getting a band added to it or maybe getting it blessed by my church, but is that totally tacky and weird? - Trying to be Practical Becky

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Being Practical Becky,

I understand that you love this engagement ring, and while I don't think it's weird to want to reuse it, I do think it's imperative that you talk with your boyfriend and ask him how he feels about the matter before giving it any more thought. Since that ring was originally given to you by another man - a relationship that didn't work out mind you - he might have some strong aversions to you wearing it again under different pretenses.

If he has no problem with the idea, I say go for it! I would recommend, however, doing something to it to make it feel unique to your current relationship. Add a band like you said, or reset the stone - anything to make it seem new again.

I hope I was of some help and hopefully you can put the ring to good use soon!

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Where Do You Stand? Selling Memories For Money

DearSugar — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

The state of our economy is worsening by the day, and many women are now hocking their old engagement and weddings rings that they were holding onto for sentimental value in exchange for cold hard cash. According to an article in today's Daily News, October was the busiest month (in visits and sales) for IDoNowIDont.com - an online marketplace for secondhand rings.

Even though these women aren't getting anywhere near the value of their goods, desperate times are clearly calling for desperate measures. If you're feeling the effects of the economy like so many of us, tell me, is this something you'd ever consider doing? Where do you stand on selling your memories for money?

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Where Do You Stand? Wrong Ring, Wrong Guy?

DearSugar — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I recently caught a rerun of the Sex and the City episode when Aidan proposed to Carrie with a ring that made her vomit. Literally. When she met the girls to tell them all about it, Samantha used the old cliché, "wrong ring, wrong guy!" And in response to my Handle This from a few days back, Ginger Snaps expressed the same belief.

Now different people place different emphasis on engagement rings. Some opt for something minimalist, while others want a ring that's over the top, but if you don't talk about it with your significant other, there's plenty of room for error. So if you were truly surprised by a proposal, and the ring wasn't exactly what you wanted, would you think he wasn't the right guy for you after all? Where do you stand on the saying wrong ring, wrong guy?

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Handle This: You Hate Your Engagement Ring

DearSugar — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Although you knew you and your boyfriend would be getting married in the near future, recently he surprised you with a proposal. You were thrilled, but the ring leaves something to be desired. It’s not your style and not very pretty. You were going to ask him if you could return it, but then he told you it was a family heirloom - his grandmother’s ring! Your friends say it would be too horrible to say something, but you really don’t like it! How would you handle this?

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What Should You Do With the Ring After a Broken Engagement?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

As disheartening as it may be, not all engagements lead to marriage, and it unfortunately seems that being on The Bachelor lessens your chances even more. As many of you guessed, last season's Bachelor Matt Grant, who popped the question to actress Shayne Lamas, called off their engagement earlier this week and according to People.com, the claws are coming out as to what to do with the 2.85-carat Tacori platinum-and-diamond eternity ring she once wore on her left hand.

According to the article, she wants to keep it “safe and clean and in a glass box - like a glass slipper” while he thinks she should auction it off for charity so "something good [can] come out of this" - no wonder it didn't work out! While every couple is different, and each breakup is unique, deciding what to do with the ring after the engagement's over is completely circumstantial, although etiquette says the ring should be given back. So what do you think should happen to the ring once an engagement is called off? Who should keep it? Or is Matt right, should it just be sold so a greater cause can reap the benefit?

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Relationship Protocol: Wedding Rings

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Wearing a wedding ring represents something different to every married couple. Most consider it a symbol of their union, but some look at it as just a really nice piece of jewelry! Of course wearing a ring won't guarantee fidelity or life-long happiness, but it sure does act as a constant reminder of the vow you took to love and honor your partner.

I think it's more common for men to opt out of wearing a wedding ring than it is for women, so how would you feel if your husband didn't want to wear one? Would it be a source of contention or would you understand his desire to be ring free?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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