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Guys Fake Orgasms Too!

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I've asked you in the past whether or not you think it's OK for a woman to fake an orgasm, and the results were split. Some of you said you had no need to fake it (lucky!), while others owned up to doing it occasionally just to give your man an ego-boost, or so you could get some sleep.

Well in case you didn't know, guys fake the "Big O" too. In The Orgasm Survey (yes, this is a real thing), findings revealed that 24 percent of guys fake it - that's one in four men! Society generally views faking it as a female habit, but if you want to hear some reasons why guys may feel the need to do it too, then read more.

He feels pressured to perform.
She's trying hard to please him, but his body's not cooperating.
He's exhausted and just wants to hit the hay.
He's not into the sex, and faking it is a way to get it over with.
He's not physically or emotionally attracted to his partner.
He's hiding his sexual identity.
He's with a new partner and can't relax enough to let go.
He doesn't want his partner to know he's having sexual issues.
He feels that having an orgasm is a way to prove he's manly.

After reading that list I'm wondering, have you ever been with a guy who's faked it?

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Have You Ever Faked an Orgasm?

TresSugar — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I remember talking to a friend of mine years ago who told me that she'd never had an orgasm with a man - but that she almost always faked it.

It really surprised me because she seemed otherwise like a take-charge kind of woman - confident, beautiful, and certainly not shy. I didn't understand why she'd feel the pressure! (She was an actress, though, so I guess that kind of makes sense.)

Most of us are not actresses, or not good ones anyway, and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to pretend your significant other is doing something right if he's not. Isn't faking something you'd just have to keep doing? And then if you stopped, he'd wonder why whatever he was doing before no longer worked?

Sunday Confessional: I've Been Faking Orgasms Our Entire Relationship!

DearSugar — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for over five months. I'm very happy with where we are as couple except for one area: our sex life. My boyfriend just doesn't do it for me! I'm completely attracted to him, but his moves just don't get me to where I need to go. It's partially my fault; I've never communicated my likes and dislikes, instead, I've been faking orgasms (I know, I know) since day one.

At first it was just a matter of not ruining the night, but after a while it would have just been too weird if I didn't (pretend) orgasm anymore. I guess I just figured it would work itself out, but it hasn't. So now, in all these months, I haven't had one real orgasm and I can't take it anymore! I am satisfied in every other way, and I want to make it work, but I can't even comprehend what his reaction might be if I tell him the truth. He's a kind man, but he's still very prideful. Do you think he could ever forgive me for this?

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Year-End Poll Results: Faking Orgasms

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 10:00:41 -0800

According to Tracey Cox, iVillage's sex expert, only 30 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone. Which means that sometimes, we just gotta fake it. So a few weeks ago, I asked you to weigh in on how many orgasms you faked in 2007.

The results were both surprising and encouraging! Most of you aren't faking it at all: The most popular response, with 30 percent of the votes, was "I'm honest with my partner so I don't feel the need to have to fake it." Another 22 percent of you said that you never have to fake it, because you can orgasm easily. I'm glad to hear that so many of you are having highly satisfying and/or very honest sexual relationships.

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Where Do You Stand: Faking an Orgasm

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Sometimes sex can be hard work and sometimes you're just too tired to put forth the effort. If you're more interested in having a short love-making session so you can get to dreaming, one option is to fake it. Some women have no qualms about pulling a Meg Ryan, especially if they're in a new relationship, but other women wouldn't dare fake a good time, namely because they wouldn't be able to make it seem believable.

So how do you feel about faking an orgasm? Is it something you do often or every once in a while? Would you do it to build your partner's confidence or do you think it's wrong to pretend like you're having mind-blowing sex when you aren't?

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Have You Ever Faked an Orgasm?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 08:00:00 -0700

It's a sad fact that it can take a woman much longer to climax during sex than it can for a man. If we're not that into it from the start, 30 minutes can go by and we're not even close to orgasm. The guy can try every trick he's got to get you excited, but sometimes, it's just not gonna happen.

At this point you have a few choices:

You can try some more and hope for the best.
You can throw in the towel and tell your man to just go for it (there's always next time).
You can let your man finish and then go to the bathroom and take care of it yourself (if you think that may be possible).
Or you can FAKE IT (like Meg Ryan did in the diner in When Harry Met Sally, and make your guy think it was the best sex you've ever had!

Personally, I would have a hard time faking it, not because I think it's wrong, but because I really don't think I could pull it off - knowing me I'd end up laughing in the middle, plus, I wouldn't want to start a trend in the bedroom where I end up having to fake it all the time with my partner never really knowing how to turn me on. So what I want to know is...

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Dear Poll: How Many Orgasms Did You Fake in 2007?

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Let's be real - sometimes it takes a little extra TLC in order for us women to reach the big O. Other times it comes easily and then there are those times when no matter what you do, it's just a lost cause. So what are you supposed to do you ask? Well fake it, of course!

According to Tracey Cox, iVillage's sex expert, only 30 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone. That number, mixed with so many extenuating factors can affect your ability to relax in the bedroom, so ladies, what I want to know is, how many orgasms did you fake in 2007?

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Orgasms: Too Much of a Good Thing?

FitSugar — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 05:27:43 -0700

Achieving an orgasm is a hot topic. Women want more, are faking it, and are looking for ways to make it easier and more enjoyable. Can you imagine what it's like to have too many orgasms then, as in 100 to 200 a day? This condition is known as persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) or persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) and can leave the affected woman in a state of arousal for hours, days, even weeks at a time. Brought on by environmental changes like cold air, vibrations from music, scents, or even a hug, one symptom of PGAD are spontaneous orgasms - ranging from the mild to a fullout screamfest. And unlike the orgasms shared with our partners, the effects of the condition are rarely associated with any feelings of sexual desire.

The idea of spontaneous orgasms may sound welcoming to some women, but given the invasive nature of PGAD, it's extremely embarrassing and difficult for those who live with it. To shed some light, Grey's Anatomy dramatized the condition on an episode, which you can see here.

America's Next Top Model Quiz: "Take My Photo, Tyra!"

BuzzSugar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:30:55 -0700

This week's America's Next Top Model wasn't much more entertaining than last week's snoozefest (Bella seems to agree, awarding it just three short-legged "Milos"). But it was a bit better, mostly because we got a little more screen time with Tyra, there was a model who appeared to be faking orgasms during the photo shoot, and we had Laura wearing her grandma's clothing creations with pride ("Majah," Miss J said of the look). All in all, not bad, but I've come to expect more from you, ANTM. What did you think of the episode? Did it keep your attention long enough to prepare you to take my quiz?

Can't get enough Top Model? Head over to the America's Next Top Model group on BuzzSugar to dish about last night's ep, and much more!

Photo courtesy of The CW

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Slow-Sex Movement Guru: On Orgasms and Sex Positivity

TresSugar — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 11:00:00 -0700

"I’ve never actually met a woman who wasn’t orgasmic. I’ve met women who’ve put themselves against a cultural idea, but we orgasm differently from the model that we’re told orgasm is."

This is the last post in a four-part series of interviews I had with Nicole Daedone, who is emerging as the leader of the slow-sex movement, and who founded the OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco. OneTaste invites men and women to learn about mindful sexuality by participating in workshops, yoga, and (for residents only) controversial "OMing" sessions in which men stroke women to orgasm during daily morning sessions. To read the fourth part of the interview with Nicole, read more.

TrèsSugar: Do you think that so-called “sex positivity” has helped women? There are a lot of women who have grown up around the idea that sexual desire isn’t something shameful, but rather something to explore and have fun with. Has it brought its own problems?
Nicole Daedone: I think that it’s like yoga; you’re constantly making microadjustments. I think that we went too far this way, into heedlessness, and that’s not any fun either. We’ve opened a field of sexuality and so the next question is, “What do we do with it?” Just open is a mess, but open and directed is power.

TS: You have a book coming out, but what’s your fantasy about where all this is going?
ND: My vision of how it’s going to go is that there will be a slow-sex movement and it will be women who carry it. It will be twofold: top down with a lot of information coming in from the media, but it will also be grassroots where the message will be transmitted from one person to the next.

TS: What do you think about the fact that there are many women who still - alone or with a partner - have never had an orgasm?
ND: It’s heartbreaking. It shows how far away from our own bodies we have to be to feel that way. I’ve met a lot of women who say they’ve never had an orgasm.
TS: Or they fake it! I think that some women feel that there’s a right way to have an orgasm: it’s supposed to look like this, sound like that, feel exactly like this …
ND: But - I’ve never actually met a woman who wasn’t orgasmic. I’ve met women who’ve put themselves against a cultural idea, but we orgasm differently from the model that we’re told orgasm is. So yeah, you know what? I don’t do "that" either.

Thanks, Nicole! (To see all of TrèsSugar's coverage of the slow-sex movement and Nicole Daedone's interviews, click here.)