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Would You Date Someone With a Strained Relationship With Their Family?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Our current bachelor, Jason Mesnick, got down to business last night when he traveled to the hometowns of the four remaining contestants to meet their families. As we all know, meeting someone's parents has the ability to explain a lot - we sure got some great insight last night! But I couldn't help but feel differently about Melissa once I learned that her parents were not willing to support her on the show, and that her friends had never even met them before!

While it's not fair to pass judgment on someone because of their families' actions, I'd definitely think twice before jumping into a relationship headfirst if I knew there was a background of turmoil. But how do you feel about dating someone with strained family relationships? Is it a huge red flag, or is it just a part of life?

Relationship Protocol: Do You Like Your Significant Other's Family?

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 10:30:00 -0800

Since Christmas is just days away, I'm sure most of you in relationships will be putting in some quality time with each other's families. We've all heard nightmare stories about evil mothers-in-law or obnoxious siblings, but there are some lucky ones who marry into amazing families, ones that you actually look forward to spending time with! So do you genuinely like your significant other's family?

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Some Adult Children Divorce Their Toxic Parents

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. This fact of life means that many of us put up with people we might not otherwise get along with.

Yesterday's New York Times examined what happens when certain family members, namely parents, cross the line from imperfect to completely intolerable. Critical, demanding, non-accepting, or verbally abusive parents sometimes prove too toxic to tolerate, leading adults to "divorce" the people who brought them into the world.

While many mental health professionals typically emphasize salvaging relationships, Dr. Richard A. Friedman wrote in the Times column that in certain circumstances, it might be healthier to end the relationship altogether. Dr. Friedman compares cutting off contact with a parent to cutting off a limb in order to save the adult child's life. Painful, but sometimes necessary.

What is the best way to handle toxic parents? Would you avoid them, cut them out completely, or try your best to deal with them?

DearSugar Needs Your Help: Family vs. Relationship - Who Wins?

DearSugar — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Stuck in the Middle Matilda need your help. Her boyfriend doesn't get along with her family and she's feeling torn. Do you have any advice for her?

Dear Sugar,

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months and it has been the most amazing time of my life. He is an unbelievable guy and he's really good to me; I feel very lucky. My problem is that he doesn't really like my family. He gets along with them when he has to, but he refuses to voluntarily spend time with them. We are quite a close bunch, but they recently moved to a different state for the family business. The catch here is that I work for my dad's company. I've resigned (because of the move) and my last day is Feb. 15.

I have to go train the new person for 10 days and I asked my boyfriend to come visit for the weekend in the middle so we could see each other. I was trying to make the best of a bad situation so we could at least still see each other, but he completely lost it and told me that I will never be able to say no to my family. As a 30-year-old woman, I don't consider myself abnormally attached to them, but apparently he thinks I'm a daddy's girl and he has no problem telling me so. I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions and I can't seem to make anyone happy. Do you think he is overreacting? Am I? I love my family and I love my boyfriend, so how can I make this work? - Stuck in the Middle Matilda

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Relationship Protocol: Can You Share a Bedroom While Visiting Family?

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:00:00 -0800

Our parents' generation is typically more conservative when it comes to sex and cohabitation before marriage, so when visiting them with your significant other, discussing the sleeping arrangements can be a bit awkward for all involved. I know many parents who believe that under their roof, their rules apply regardless of the situation back home; but others simply choose to turn a blind eye.

Since many of you will be traveling to visit family in these next few days, tell me, will you be allowed to sleep in the same room as your significant other?

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Relationship Protocol: Whose Family Are You Closest To?

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Although I do know some couples who are distant from both their sets of parents, most couples I know are close with at least one person’s family. Whether it’s a matter of distance or similar personalities, sometimes it’s just natural for a couple to be more tightly knit with one person’s family over the other's. As a couple, whose family are you the closest to? Or do you find that it’s completely equal?

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Grey's Anatomy Rundown, "Holidaze"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0800

As evidenced in my holiday TV sneak peek, this week's episode of Grey's Anatomy puts the doctors on a fast track that starts on Thanksgiving eve and runs through New Year's Eve. As we all know by now, the Seattle Grace surgeons aren't always big on merriment, but the holidays are always the perfect time to bring out the truth in feelings and relationships.

Meredith bonds with the Chief while Mark learns that he has a teenage daughter. Bailey has a confrontation with her father and Teddy and Owen's sexual tension comes to a head. To read all about it, just read more.

As the episode opens, the Chief is trying to justify his drinking to Meredith - explaining that his alcoholism was "misdiagnosed" and that he was actually suffering from situational depression. (Um, right.) It's unclear whether Mere takes his word for it because she believes him or feels like she has to, but she accepts his mentorship. Later she bites off Thatcher's head when he suggests that the Chief shouldn't be drinking, and by NYE realizes that he does have a problem, but continues to keep it a secret. There is one good thing that comes from it: Derek and the Chief finally make amends after duking it out all season.
Bailey does her best to avoid acknowledging the holidays because she's afraid to tell her parents about her divorce. Instead, she gladly dives into work - until her father makes a surprise visit on Christmas Eve. After watching Miranda perform surgery, he delivers a way harsh speech about being ashamed of her decision to "break" her family and put work first. At Christmas dinner (with the whole Seattle Grace crew, no less), Miranda finally puts her foot down and tells her dad that she's not willing to settle for a bad relationship. Did anyone else want to slow clap, at this point? Because I did.
Mark gets a blast from the past when a buxom blonde appears at the hospital claiming to be his daughter. (I kind of love that her name is Sloan). Mark isn't exactly thrilled with feeling old, joking that "death has come to call." Lexie is also troubled by the news at first, and I couldn't blame her for slicing her finger when Mark drops the bomb that Sloan is moving in. Two months later, he hasn't made any progress, and it's clear that his daughter isn't exactly a cup of tea. Just when Mark finally gets the nerve to kick her out, Sloan reveals that she's pregnant with a baby of her own. Instead of contemplating his potential grandpa status (talk about feeling old), Mark's paternal instincts kick into gear with impeccable timing and he comforts her. Sidenote: I find it interesting that Mark handles the situation exactly how Quinn wished her parents had on Glee this week - stroking her hair, assuring her that everything would be okay.
Teddy is already coming between Cristina and Owen's relationship, even if just with pages. Still loving her new cardio god, Cristina is happy to be Teddy's bitch (as Alex calls her) and work as a team - until she catches Owen giving Teddy meaningful glances. Owen confronts Teddy and reveals that he had feelings with her when they were overseas together, and in turn Teddy confesses that she's always been in love with him. They are literally this close to kissing, but Owen says he loves Cristina and runs to her instead. Despite their passionate makeout sesh at the end of the episode, I still have an ominous feeling about Cristina's kiss with Avery (who is still giving her flack about her relationship with Owen).

What's your verdict on this week's episode? Are you sad to put Grey's aside for six weeks? Did it put you in the holiday spirit or did it all seem a bit premature? Don't forget to keep the conversation rolling in the Grey's Anatomy McAddicts group in the Buzz Community!

The Blind Side: An Unexpected Delight

BuzzSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:30:42 -0800

It's not that the trailer for The Blind Side isn't compelling; the problem is that it combines Sandra Bullock's twangiest, most-over-the top lines with a heartrending song, which makes it seem schlocky. That's exactly what I expected from the movie, but I have to admit that I was wrong - to my surprise, I found it to be a sentimental gem that's actually quite restrained.

The Blind Side is the true story (based on Michael Lewis's book) of NFL player Michael Oher, who grew up in Memphis's projects with his drug-addicted mother and landed in and out of foster homes. He ended up in a fancy private school and in the home of a wealthy family, the Touhys, led by tough-talking Leigh Anne (Bullock). The weaving of Michael's newfound life in the movie is effective, with sweet bits of humor and just enough emotion.

To see what I liked about the film, just read more.

The movie is full of many surprises: first, it looks like it's going to be mainly about football, but it's not all sports. There is proper attention given to Michael's life before he's taken in and the development of the relationships between the Touhy family members and Michael.

Another nice thing is how smoothly Bullock slides into her role. It's not just her wardrobe and hair that transforms her into the high-maintenance Southern matriarch; her manner as the tough mom who's not completely comfortable showing emotion is very natural - not what I'd expect from the laid-back actress.

Quinton Aaron is also impressive as a sad-eyed orphan turned well-adjusted student and son over the course of the movie. It's not an incredibly complex performance, but his teddy bear presence is irresistible. The supporting players are equally as enjoyable: Tim McGraw, whom I didn't expect much from, is charming, while the Touhy children win you over with their affection for their new brother. The late addition of Kathy Bates (whose role is basically an extended cameo) is hardly needed to bolster the movie, but she adds a nice touch as well.

At two hours and six minutes, the movie is a little too long; director John Lee Hancock seemed intent on fitting in nearly every detail of Michael's journey. Then again, at the end you're rewarded with the payoff: footage and photos of the real-life Touhys and Michael. It's an emotionally satisfying ending to a movie that makes no apologies for being so uplifting.

Photos courtesy of Warner Bros.

New Moon: Better Than Twilight

BuzzSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:45:00 -0800

Let's be honest: for most of you, it doesn't matter what I - or any critics for that matter - have to say about New Moon, the incredibly anticipated sequel to last year's Twilight. The film started breaking box office records before it was even released, and audiences will flock to the theaters for weeks to come. On the plus side, a ticket to New Moon is a win even if you're not a Twihard - provided that you know what you're getting into.

New Moon is not incredibly acted, and it doesn't boast impressive dialogue or larger-than-life special effects. But it's not trying to be the Best Picture of the Year, so I can only critique it for what it is: a fantasy movie about a love triangle between a werewolf, a vampire, and a teenage girl. To see what I mean, just read more.

The movie picks up a few months after where Twilight left off. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is blissfully in love but she can't fight her insecurities about growing older than her perpetually seventeen vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). All Bella wants for her eighteenth birthday is for Edward to change her into a bloodsucker, but a close call with his brother drives Edward to break up with Bella and leave town instead.

The drama following Bella's abandonment is everything we remember from high school heartbreak, from Bella's night terrors to the glazed over look in her eye. The anguish and pain are easily seen on Stewart's face, and her innermost thoughts are revealed to the audience through letters to Edward's sister Alice that will never be sent. After months of moping, Bella finally starts to open up to Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), a family friend. As Bella struggles to find hope in a life without Edward, her friendship is complicated by Jacob's romantic feelings for Bella and made worse when Jacob discovers that he's a werewolf (and an enemy to all vampires).

The surprise of the movie is Lautner's performance. We've seen and heard about those muscles countless times before, but he also packs enough charm and charisma into his Jacob that you truly see him as more than just Bella's unrelenting admirer / best friend. He presents himself as a viable suitor for Bella's heart, and it's hard not to root for him against Robert Pattinson's wooden (albeit handsome) Edward. Stewart and Pattinson have chemistry to spare in Twilight, but in New Moon, Bella's relationship with Jacob seems hopeful and comfortable while her scenes with Edward are mostly awkward and frankly not as much fun to watch.

The movie belongs to Stewart and Lautner, but their melodrama is balanced out by the characters who pad out the cast. Yes, we meet the wolf pack and the Volturi, but for the most part the Forks residents and beyond make for some much-needed comic relief. The downside is that while it's funnier than what you'd expect, not all of the laughs are intentional (a scene where Jacob's temper rivals that of The Incredible Hulk comes to mind).

It doesn't take more than a grain of salt to appreciate New Moon for what it is - a film that stays true to its origin and delivers the necessary elements to ensure that you'll be back when the next installment of the franchise comes our way.

Photos courtesy of Summit Entertainment

Remember Me - See It or Skip It?

PopSugarUK — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:00:22 -0800

This is quite the week for all us Robert Pattinson fans, as not only is New Moon out tomorrow, but the trailer for his latest film Remember Me has just been released! We saw Robert filming the movie in New York with costar Emilie de Ravin throughout the Summer, and now we've got our first look at Robert in the romantic drama. He plays American college student Tyler, who falls in love with a policeman's daughter, and Pierce Brosnan plays his dad! The new lovers struggle with their relationship as they both try to cope with family tragedies. It's due out in March 2010, so check out the trailer and vote to let me know: will you see it or skip it?