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Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:00:24 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!
Today's question:
What are some good techniques to use with a partner who has a relatively small penis?

To see Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

There are a few different things you could try to make intercourse better. The first thing is to have lots of buildup for both of you. The more excited he is, the harder his erection will be. That can maximize the sensations for you since the vagina tends to be most sensitive near the opening. And the closer you are to orgasm before intercourse, the easier it might be to have an orgasm once he’s inside you.

Some positions may work better for you than others. If you try rear entry (aka doggie style) and arch your back, you’ll probably be able to get deeper penetration. Some women report that crossing their legs (after he’s inside) in this position makes things snugger, which creates more intense sensations for both people. If you prefer face to face contact, prop your hips up on a pillow or the amazing Wedge. Bending your legs so your knees are against your chest also maximizes penetration. Since both the vagina and the penis vary in dimensions, you’ll have to experiment a bit to find the ones that feel best to you. Sadie Allison’s book Ride’Em Cowgirl is full of useful tips and fun ideas.

If you’re having trouble getting enough stimulation for your pleasure, you can always make sure that you get your needs taken care of first or keep the fun going after his orgasm. There’s a commonly held belief that simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate sexual experience, and while it can be fun, if that ideal is getting in the way, then ditch it. If he gives you oral sex or uses his hands first and then you switch to intercourse (or vice versa), then you’re both getting pleasured and I think that’s a great thing.

Quite a few partners of men with smaller penises find that oral sex can be a lot easier. After all, if you have a sensitive gag reflex or a narrow jaw, a smaller penis can be much more fun to play with. I definitely encourage you to get creative when it comes to blow jobs. Check out this excellent DVD on oral sex. Similarly, a slender penis can make anal sex more pleasurable, too. While a lot of people aren’t into anal play, if you happen to be, you might find that it feels better when you’re with someone on the slimmer side of things. You can check out this DVD on anal play.

As you can see, there are lots of choices. You may need to talk with each other to figure out what will work best for the two of you. While you might have some worries about talking with your guy about his penis size, I can guarantee that he already knows about it. If you approach the conversation from a desire to make sure that you’re both having fun, it’ll go a lot better. And whatever you do, don’t make fun of him or shame him for his body. Lots of men are hyper-sensitive about penis size and that’s not going to be a constructive thing to do.

Lastly, for the record, most penises are about five-six inches (12.7-15.24 cm) long and about five inches (12.7 cm) around. Lots of people have distorted expectations about penis size, especially if they watch porn. But a lot of people in porn movies (both male and female) are short - it makes penises look larger, just as they used to make cowboy movie sets small to make the actors look bigger. That sort of forced perspective is a trick of the camera, and unfortunately, it can lead to unrealistic expectations.

I hope that helps. Have fun!

You Asked: Could Wine Give Me a Headache?

FitSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:50:53 -0800

Dear Fit,
In college, I was more into sipping cocktails and drinking beer, but recently I started drinking wine with dinner. I love the taste and how it pairs with more complicated dishes I have started to cook. I've noticed that I get this dull headache when I drink it though. Is this common? Is there a way to prevent it?
- Whining About Wine

As Thomas Jefferson said,"Good wine is a necessity of life for me." Although Jefferson's "necessity" is considered a relaxant and offers a variety of health benefits, drinking wine can cause some unfortunate side effects, including headaches. To find out why, continue reading

Road Tripping Moves For T-Day Travel

FitSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:00:55 -0800

Considered the most travel saturated holiday in the US, many of us will be taking to the road or to the skies to see our family and friends this Thanksgiving. If you're flying try these stretches to keep yourself sane on the plane. And if you're driving I have a few moves to keep your body awake and make good use of your time stuck in traffic.

Steering wheel isometrics: Using simple isometric exercises, you can work your arms. Start with your hands at nine and three on the steering wheel (just like driver's ed class) and press inward with your arms. Hold for five counts, but keep the tension out of your neck. Repeat four times, and then move your hands to 10 and two and repeat. Changing positions of your hands will work different muscle groups.
Belly vacuums: This is a great way to work your abs at traffic lights or waiting out a traffic jam. On an exhale simply pull your abs toward your spine without letting your back round. Keep the abs engaged and focus on breathing into the back of your ribs for three to five breaths.
Glute winks: Your bum can get sore and numb from sitting for so long. This exercise not only works the glutes a bit, it also gets the circulation going once again and can relieve low back pain, too. Simply squeeze your right glute for three to five seconds, release it and switch sides. Repeat for a total of 10 times.

Feeling tense behind the wheel, I have a few remedies so read more.

Shoulder shrugs: Keeping your hands on the steering wheel, inhale and raise your shoulders to your ears. Exhale allowing your shoulders to drop. Repeat a total of five to 10 times.
Deep breathing: Don't underestimate the power of breathing to calm yourself down in heavy traffic. Inhale and fill your lungs, then slowly exhale releasing the tension from your upper body.
Slow shimmy: Channel a slower version of Beyonce's shoulder shimmy to release tension in your upper body. Keep your hands on the wheel, bring your right shoulder forward, then alternate bringing your left one toward the wheel. This move will make your spine twist a bit, which feels great after staring at the road for hours on end.

I also suggest stopping every two hours to stretch your legs. Just walking about a bit can enliven the weary traveler and help you stay alert while driving. I like to stretch my hamstrings by propping my heel on the bumper of the car.

Melissa d'Arabian's Helpful Hints For Feasting on a Budget

YumSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:00:31 -0800

Of all the year's celebrations, Thanksgiving often is the most expensive. In 2008, roughly a quarter of you said you were spending $150 or more. This year, to help you stay well within your budget, we've enlisted the help of Melissa d'Arabian, winner of the Next Food Network Star and host of Ten Dollar Dinners With Melissa d'Arabian.

On her Food Network show, Melissa makes dinner for four for under $10 - and her Thanksgiving is no different. She's partnered with Walmart to come up with a turkey day feast that's only $20, and plans to serve it to her own family this holiday. "My family is really getting the $20 thanksgiving!" she says. Regardless of how much you've got in your wallet, she has some pointers to help you stay under budget. See them when you read more.

Healthy Holiday Eating: Keep a Food Journal

FitSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:00:22 -0800

If the thought of decadent holiday food is stressing you out already, take control and try keeping track of your holiday eating with a food journal. It seems simple, but by writing down what you're eating throughout the day, you'll develop a real awareness of what you're putting in your body. A treat here and there, if you're not keeping track, can feel like it's no big deal, but writing it down will give you a real record of what you've eaten and make it easier to judge if you really do want dessert.

As a trial, test out how food journaling works for you over Thanksgiving, and if it seems to boost your healthy eating habits, keep it going through Christmas and the New Year. Plus, you can make it even easier to keep track by using your phone to journal, or if you decide to get into it, pick up one of these inconspicuous little journals or try an iPhone app. You might just find that this is a health trick you want to stick with.

Kidoodles: Thanksgiving Turkeys For the Table

babysugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:00:20 -0800

It's time to rally the troops for a day of arts and crafts that can be showcased at the holiday table. A win-win, this simple project will have everyone feeling useful, creates decor for the evening, and leaves little mess in its wake.
Supplies needed:

Small pumpkins
Peel and stick foam paper
Small marshmallows and a black pen (substitute googly eyes if you have some)
Scissors

To see how to make these colorful gourd-geous birds, read more.

Simple Steps:

Cut out pieces for the turkey's body including the wattle, beak, and feathers
Peel the sticker side off of the feather backs and arrange them in a fan-like design. Once you are pleased with the shape, stick it to the back of the pumpkin.
Peel the wattle and stick it onto the turkey's face. Do the same for the beak.
Tear the marshmallow in half and place the two sticky sides to the face and dot them with the black marker for the eyes.
Peel the back of the turkey and stick the body to the front of the pumpkin. Your bird is now complete.

Allow the youngsters to peel and place the feathers and draw on the feathered friends where they see fit!

View 8 Photos ›

Are You Facebook Friends With Your Exes?

GeekSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:44:00 -0800

An essay in this week's New York Times hit close to home. The author, mourning the breakup of a long-term relationship, used Facebook to keep up with what his ex was doing. I've covered this topic before in Tech Dating 101 posts; from using Facebook to get to know a potential date to how and when to change your relationship status. I've even offered my advice for how to cut an ex out of your digital life. He was pretty distraught over the breakup, but still couldn't resist the occasional peek at her page:

"Every once in a while, when I was feeling particularly pathetic, I would log on to her Facebook page and listlessly click through the photos of a life that was, somewhat disappointingly, continuing without me."

While I still feel it's best to avoid an ex on Facebook, especially after a tough breakup, actually pulling the trigger to delete an ex from your list of friends is tough.

Don't Let Traveling Get You in a Bind

FitSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:30:31 -0800

The stress of traveling and being away from home can really mess with your bathroom schedule. Changing times zones, eating foods you're not used to, and skipping out on exercise doesn't help either. To prevent tummy issues, here are some tips on how to stay regular when traveling.

Drink water whenever you can as your choice of beverage. Not only will it keep you hydrated, but it'll also keep things moving.
When traveling, bring your own snacks that are high in fiber. Nibble on carrot sticks, apples (with the peel), trail mix with dried fruit and nuts, granola bars, and high fiber cereal. Having healthy snacks on hand will prevent you from eating processed foods that can tie the digestive system in knots.

For more helpful tips keep reading.

Beauty Byte: Cheryl Cole and L'Oreal Get Blasted For Illusory Ad

BellaSugarUK — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:15:00 -0800

The complaints are pouring in (13 of them to be exact) to the Advertising Standards Authority about the misleading images for the newest L'Oreal Elvive Full Restore 5 haircare products commercial and print adverts starring Cheryl Cole.

People feel that since Cheryl is wearing hair extensions in the ads, they aren't being portrayed as true. However, the complaints have so far been rejected based on the disclaimer in the commercials and the print ads that states that Cheryl's hair is "styled with some natural extensions." This, however, is not appeasing the public, as they don't feel this message is clearly portrayed.

What are your thoughts on these complaints? Do you think that L'Oreal should have been more up front about Cheryl's hair extensions so that people don't think they can have hair just like hers if they use the new Elvive Full Restore 5 range, or do you think that by including the disclaimer they have been responsible?

To see if you can spot the disclaimer in the commercial, just read more.

Photo Courtesy of L'Oreal

How Would You Feel?

TresSugar — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:00:04 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I'm 20 years old and have been dating this guy for four years. Last night, I was using his computer and I saw that he searched for plus size lingerie. My feelings were instantly hurt. I felt so fat! I think that my boyfriend should not make me feel like that! He has never called me fat or anything, but just the fact that he looked at plus size lingerie says that he thinks it! If I ask him if he thinks I'm fat or anything he, of course, denies it. He says that if he thought I was ugly he wouldn't be with me. So, what now? Am I just overreacting? I am so hurt!

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!