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You Asked: Are My Feelings Justified?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I went to a party on a Saturday night. We had a great time and as the night progressed, the drinks started to flow. A dance party erupted in the living room and as I was talking with some girlfriends off to the side, I saw my boyfriend dancing rather inappropriately with a girl I had never met before. I was pretty taken a back and honestly, I'm still really upset about it. My friends seem to think it was no big deal, especially since I was at the party with him, but I can't help but worry about his behavior when I'm not around. I don't want to cause an unnecessary fight, but I'm really hurt. Am I overreacting? - Perturbed Penelope

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Dear Perturbed Penelope,

If you're upset with your boyfriend's actions at the party, you should most definitely talk to him about it. Your friends are entitled to their opinion, but this is your relationship, not theirs, and if your feelings are hurt, you're not overreacting.

You mentioned that you're concerned with the way your boyfriend behaves when you're not around so I have to ask if he's acted inappropriately before. Regardless, what matters most here is that you're secure in your relationship, and it doesn't sound like you are. In an effort to avoid an argument, approach your boyfriend in a very nonthreatening manor. Let him know that his actions hurt your feelings, and if he doesn't understand where you're coming from, simply ask him how he'd feel if you were dancing the same way with a man he's never met before - I have a feeling he'll get it once you reverse the situation! Hopefully, a good heart to heart will smooth things over - good luck.

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Dear Poll: Do You Get Pulled Into Your Friends' Arguments?

DearSugar — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I told you on Wednesday that I'm often the go-to person for advice, and while I like being there for my friends, I often catch myself in the middle of their arguments. If they both come to me to vent their frustration or anger about the other person, I'm automatically put in a difficult position. Of course I try my best to just stay out, or at least be as neutral as possible, but that's sometimes easier said than done. So ladies, do you ever get pulled into the middle of your friends' arguments like I do?

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Do Tell: Have You Ever Lied to Get Out of a Fight?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

There are certain rules we all know: Communication is key and honesty is the best policy. But sometimes, anything seems easier than fighting with your partner, including telling him a little white lie. Now I don't condone lying, but I think sometimes avoiding a confrontation with a lie is probably better than having the confrontation to begin with. But what do you think? Do tell ladies, have you ever lied to get out of an argument? If so, what was it?

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Is It OK to Go to Bed Angry?

DearSugar — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 09:00:00 -0800

I recently had a fight with my boyfriend about something so stupid, but since we're both stubborn, we couldn't come to an agreement, so we both went to bed angry. As I was lying in bed, trying to forget about it all, I kept hearing a little voice in the back of my mind that said, "Never go to bed angry."

What do you think? Is it a bad thing to go to bed mad? Or do you think there's some benefit to sleeping on it, so you can work things out the next day with a fresh mind?

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Dear Sugar Needs Your Help: Everyone Hates My Boyfriend

DearSugar — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Still in Love Lucy need your help. Should she get back together with a guy her family and friends don't approve of?

Dear Sugar--

I have been in this relationship on and off for 4 years. When my boyfriend and I met, there was an instant chemistry. We had long conversations and everything seemed to mesh well between us.

After a great first year together, I received a phone call from another female who claimed she was also dating him. At that time, he was living with a couple of buddies, and our relationship was sort of rocky. After that phone call, I broke up with him. He later explained that a lot of his buddies would invite random girls over, and this one girl was obsessed with him and claimed that she only called me to provoke a break up. I later forgave him, and he moved into his own apartment. Our relationship got better and we later decided that we should live together. My parents objected to the idea, they said that we weren't mature enough, and that I should wait. Well, I moved in with him anyway and everything was great our first year.

We were very happy together but, my parents never liked him. They thought he wasn't good enough for me. They said that there was something about him that just didn’t seem right. We battled it out all the time because he never spent time with my family, and he was always with his friends. After two long years, I finally had enough of always being home alone. He would always find an excuse to spend time with his friends over me and I moved back in with my parents.

He and I started talking again and he told me how much he missed and loved me. I never stopped loving him and want to give our relationship another shot but I don't know what to do. I know that my parents will never accept him and my friends DESPISE him for all the pain he put me through. I’m worried that I'll be disowned by my friends and family if I follow my heart and get back together with him. Is this just a lust relationship that I have to get over? What should I do?

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The First Rule of Soap Club Is, You Don't Talk About Soap Club

BellaSugar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:00:42 -0800

It's hard to believe that Fight Club hit movie screens 10 years ago, but, well, time flies. In a tribute to one of the grossest parts of the plot, Etsy seller SerendipityEight is offering soaps inspired by the movie. Available in Bay Rum and Cool Water scents, they're a convincing knockoff of the soap that Brad Pitt holds on the movie poster. Fortunately, the homage goes only so far; this soap is made with shea butter and glycerin, not human fat. Get yours for $5 if you're so inclined - but move fast, before the copyright cops jump into the ring.

More Foods That Fight Fat

FitSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:30:36 -0800

Since fighting fat with food is a popular topic, we thought it only appropriate to share with you five more edibles to help keep your waistline in check. Some of these foods block fat absorption, and others ward off cravings. But best of all, they're all packed with nutrients that are just plain good for you.

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Do You Fight Fair?

TresSugar — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Every couple faces that moment when the fairy dust of romance settles, they're in a relationship - and a conflict triggers their first fight. How a couple fights (or if they fight at all) can determine whether or not they will have a healthy and enduring relationship.

The word "fight" has such negative connotations, but in every relationship, disagreements will come up that need to be negotiated and resolved. Studies have even shown that the couple that fights together, stays together. Avoiding conflict, after all, will only create built-up resentment and unhappiness.

The relationship site Longevity has great tips on fighting fair. They include the following no-no's: name calling or hitting below the belt, excavating past grievances, dragging others into the fight, or wandering away from the subject.

We learn how to fight from watching how our parents resolved conflicts, and for some people, that means unlearning bad habits. Do you fight fair?

Titanic Tomato Fight Takes Over Valencia, Spain

YumSugar — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:00:58 -0700

For many, corn boils and clambakes are the highlights of the season. But others look forward to very different Summer festivities - like the La Tomatina in Valencia, Spain. Yesterday, the town of Buñol, Spain (population: 9,000), held its annual world-famous tomato food fight. The event, which is on the last Wednesday in August, is an all-out escapade that involves more than 100 tons of overripe tomatoes, draws over 40,000 visitors from around the world, and spares absolutely no one.

To learn more about it and check out a gallery of images, read more.

It's part of a weeklong festival that includes music, parades, dancing, fireworks, and a massive paella cooking contest. The hourlong exchange, which takes place in Buñol's Plaza del Pueblo, dates back to the mid-1940s. Legend has it that the fight either began as a spat between local merchants, or when disgruntled citizens started throwing tomatoes at politicians. Après-argument, participants hose one another off and jump in the Buñol River, while fire trucks hose down the plaza.

This looks disgusting yet fun, so I'm adding it to my bucket list of things to do. Can you imagine how much tomato pulp the photographer must've been covered in?! Would you participate in La Tomatina?

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Relationship Protocol: After a Fight, Who Apologizes First?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

I've definitely been in a few relationships where it felt like I was always the one apologizing after an argument - even when I knew it wasn't actually me who was in the wrong. Let's face it: Some people just can't say, "I'm sorry" first, regardless of the circumstance. So how is it in your relationship? After a fight, who typically apologizes first?

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