PopSugar

Instead of Feeling Guilty For Indulging, Get Back on Track

FitSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:30:44 -0800

The holidays can be pretty indulgent - decadent meals, cocktail parties, and dessert after dessert to savor. Add to that stressful gift shopping, holidays spent away for home, and workouts being replaced with entertaining and suddenly you've gotten completely off track with your health.

Before you beat yourself up for having that second piece of pumpkin pie, take a deep breath and tell yourself it's OK. We've all been there - instead of punishing yourself over it, make a commitment to get back on track now. In fact, punishing yourself can have potentially harmful results - a study found that women who feel guilty over missing workouts are more likely to develop eating disorders.

To see my tips on staying healthy during the holidays, read more.

After a big meal, go for a brisk walk. Encourage your friends and family to join you too!
Don't deprive yourself during the holidays, as this may lead to overindulging later. Treat yourself to a healthy dessert on the weekends like these pumpkin bars.
Try limiting yourself to one drink a cocktail party or dinner. If you do have more than one drink, alternate between water and alcohol, and opt for sparkling wine, it has way less calories than a cocktail.
If you do fall off the health wagon, schedule time to start exercising again. The holidays are hectic and making an exercise schedule will help keep you committed and motivated.
Find a workout buddy this holiday season. Exercising and staying fit is easier if you have someone in your corner rooting you on.
If you're worried about overdoing it at a holiday dinner, have a healthy snack like an apple or a handful of nuts before you go. This will help fill you up and reduce cravings.
If you really don't have time to exercise during this hectic season find small ways to be active. Use the stairs when you go shopping and park your car as far away from the store entrance as you can so you walk further.
If you do start to obsess over falling off the health bandwagon, limit your freak out time to ten minutes and then let it go.

Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:00:24 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!
Today's question:
What are some good techniques to use with a partner who has a relatively small penis?

To see Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

There are a few different things you could try to make intercourse better. The first thing is to have lots of buildup for both of you. The more excited he is, the harder his erection will be. That can maximize the sensations for you since the vagina tends to be most sensitive near the opening. And the closer you are to orgasm before intercourse, the easier it might be to have an orgasm once he’s inside you.

Some positions may work better for you than others. If you try rear entry (aka doggie style) and arch your back, you’ll probably be able to get deeper penetration. Some women report that crossing their legs (after he’s inside) in this position makes things snugger, which creates more intense sensations for both people. If you prefer face to face contact, prop your hips up on a pillow or the amazing Wedge. Bending your legs so your knees are against your chest also maximizes penetration. Since both the vagina and the penis vary in dimensions, you’ll have to experiment a bit to find the ones that feel best to you. Sadie Allison’s book Ride’Em Cowgirl is full of useful tips and fun ideas.

If you’re having trouble getting enough stimulation for your pleasure, you can always make sure that you get your needs taken care of first or keep the fun going after his orgasm. There’s a commonly held belief that simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate sexual experience, and while it can be fun, if that ideal is getting in the way, then ditch it. If he gives you oral sex or uses his hands first and then you switch to intercourse (or vice versa), then you’re both getting pleasured and I think that’s a great thing.

Quite a few partners of men with smaller penises find that oral sex can be a lot easier. After all, if you have a sensitive gag reflex or a narrow jaw, a smaller penis can be much more fun to play with. I definitely encourage you to get creative when it comes to blow jobs. Check out this excellent DVD on oral sex. Similarly, a slender penis can make anal sex more pleasurable, too. While a lot of people aren’t into anal play, if you happen to be, you might find that it feels better when you’re with someone on the slimmer side of things. You can check out this DVD on anal play.

As you can see, there are lots of choices. You may need to talk with each other to figure out what will work best for the two of you. While you might have some worries about talking with your guy about his penis size, I can guarantee that he already knows about it. If you approach the conversation from a desire to make sure that you’re both having fun, it’ll go a lot better. And whatever you do, don’t make fun of him or shame him for his body. Lots of men are hyper-sensitive about penis size and that’s not going to be a constructive thing to do.

Lastly, for the record, most penises are about five-six inches (12.7-15.24 cm) long and about five inches (12.7 cm) around. Lots of people have distorted expectations about penis size, especially if they watch porn. But a lot of people in porn movies (both male and female) are short - it makes penises look larger, just as they used to make cowboy movie sets small to make the actors look bigger. That sort of forced perspective is a trick of the camera, and unfortunately, it can lead to unrealistic expectations.

I hope that helps. Have fun!

Patrick Dempsey Talks to Us About His Latest Scent

BellaSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:00:36 -0800

When Patrick Dempsey launched his first scent, Unscripted, late last year, I have to admit I was skeptical of another celebrity fragrance hitting the market. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the subtle, clean scent, and even Mr. Bella - whose idea of a fun night out involves climbing mountains and camping in the woods sans showers - is a fan.

Patrick has been bitten by the fragrance bug once again. The launch of his latest scent, Patrick Dempsey 2 ($30), pays tribute to the intimacy between two people. (That's his wife in the ad campaign.) Expect to see at least two more fragrance launches from Patrick in the future, but in the meantime, check out my one-on-one interview (sigh) with the sexy actor when you read more.

Relaxed vs. Natural Hair vs. Weaves vs. Dreads

OnSugar Blog — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:02:21 -0800

Here are highlights from OnSugar blog Krissy's One Stop Beauty Spot.

Women, especially black women, have the ability to change hairstyles like underwear. I support you ladies no matter what you do - just do it right and take care of your hair. For the most part we all practice the same principles when it comes to proper hair care (co-washing, ACV rinse, trims, deep conditioning, etc.). I'm always willing to help people with hair questions and concerns, or at least point them in the right direction. I know plenty of people in that area.

Where I stand on a lot of hair issues:

I'm anti kiddie perms and kiddie dreadlocks on children if they're at an age where they can't make that choice for themselves (unless, of course, it's part of your religion). It's not about the chemicals, it's about the fact that it's a permanent hairstyle on a child. What if your child decides they want to wear their natural hair? You'll have to either cut their hair to transition them to natural hair. Yes, you can remove dreads but unless someone can find me a "safe" method that doesn't damage the hair, then I won't be changing my mind about this.
I'm pro weaves and braids as long as it's done right and your hair is still being kept healthy. If your hair is being done too tight and coming out, it's time to find a new stylist.
I'm pro curly and natural hairstyles within corporate America. I hear a lot of natural haired beauties bragging about self-acceptance and mainstreaming natural hair, but they still search for corporate hairstyles because of their natural hair. A bun will always be conservative no matter what type of hair you have.
I've always encouraged hair dialogue among women of different nationalities. You'll be surprised by the things we all have in common. If your non-black friend is telling you about a great hair balm that she pays $15 for, take her on a trip to a local beauty supply store and show her where to buy it for $5.

Read the entire post here. Want to see more? Start following OnSugar blog Krissy's One Stop Beauty Spot or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be featured on BellaSugar.

Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Tough Feedback to Swallow? Try a Compliment Sandwich

SavvySugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:00:06 -0800

Whether you manage a team of people or work solo, chances are you’ll have to give feedback at some point in your career. And when that feedback is less than positive, things can get awkward fast. Next time you find yourself in the position of giving someone else - an employee, co-worker, customer, or even just a friend - the cold, hard truth, try serving up a compliment sandwich instead. To see how, read more.

Start positive. No one responds well to criticism when it’s the first thing they hear. Butter up your subject with at least two pieces of positive feedback first (the more the better, if you’ve got it). The catch: it must be honest, and it must be substantial (i.e., “Way to put one foot in front of the other this morning!” doesn’t count).
Ease into the negative stuff. Now that your feedback recipient has had a little ego boost and is no longer on the defensive, it’s time to get to the issue you want to address. Remember, it’s called constructive criticism for a reason - keep it positive and productive. To make sure your comments are as well-received as possible, try to limit it to one piece of negative feedback at a time.
Finish strong. Once you’ve gotten the unpleasantness out of the way, don’t just let the recipient walk away. Circle back to at least one more positive piece of feedback to end your conversation on a high note.

Source: Flickr User Ingorrr

Sunday Confessional: She's Feeling Jealous

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:00:05 -0800

This week's anonymous confession comes from the TrèsSugar Community group Confession Booth. This confessor finds herself worried about her boyfriend's co-worker. She explains:

"Before we started dating my boyfriend slept with someone he still works with. He just recently told me this and it's driving me nuts!!!!!!"

Do you think this is a big deal?

PopSugarUK Meets the Me & Orson Welles Cast: Zac Talks Footloose & Finding Seclusion, and Claire Talks Flirting!

PopSugarUK — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:53:19 -0800

Yesterday I was lucky enough to spend an hour with Zac Efron! He and his castmates in Me and Orson Welles, Claire Danes and Christian McKay, talked about their new movie in a Q&A session with UK journalists alongside their director Richard Linklater. Zac looked handsome and casual in a blue t-shirt and jeans, and fiddled with a bottle top on the table while talking, he was pretty self-deprecating, as was Claire who looked gorgeous and was really funny. Look out for more from this session right here next week, but without further ado - here's part one!

Richard, finding Orson must have been the key to the movie?

And once you found your Orson, it was time to find your “Me”?
R – "I was just really lucky that Zac had read the script and liked it and wanted to meet me. You know, Zac was being offered every film in town."
Z - (deadpans) "You were so lucky."
R – "It’s true! It’s never a given, and we sat down, and I was convinced about fifteen seconds in and I felt like I’d found Richard. Like I did when I found Christian. Even though Richard’s only 17 you see it through his eyes, he needed to be a leading man, he needed to go toe to toe with Welles. I just needed that quality that Zac has, that charisma and that kinda presence."

Zac, were you trying to break out from High School Musical box?
Z - "I recognised almost immediately that this was a pretty unique opportunity. I got the phone call that Rick had a script that he’d like me to read, and he wanted to have a conversation about it. And I was… so excited, I remember running home to read the script. And I read it and was pleasantly surprised that the role was pretty big. That’s not exactly what I expected. I was the “Me”, that was pretty cool. I was looking for that opportunity. Not necessarily to change my image or anything. But for a new role, that was a new challenge, and something interesting – and this was it."

To hear why Zac dropped out of Footloose, find out how his efforts to find seclusion on the Isle of Man went, and Claire's opinions on having to flirt with him, just read more.

Claire, your character hovers on the outside of things, organising things…

What was it like to flirt with Zac Efron?
C – (sighs) "Tough. Going." (Zac nods) "I don’t know... it was amazing. First of all the dialogue was very special. It’s very rare to find writing of this quality, very witty and engaging and I had a lot of fun with the flirty slang words and goofy vernacular. And the scenes, I thought, were very tender. And you know, Zac’s amazing."
Z (laughing) – "Yeah, the dialogue made me look really good."
C – "I was delighted to discover how fine an actor he is. And he can move very well. We took some dancing lessons for a brief scene in a dance hall, and that was very humbling. Zac was a much quicker study than I was, my god. A very coordinated guy."
Z – "It was the first time I actually led! It was great!"

Zac on dropping out of Footloose:
Z - "Footloose didn’t happen for a number of reasons, but...you know, I think it just felt like territory that I’d already explored. I felt like I’d already been there before. As opposed to trying something brand new, which is a bit riskier and it was a whole lot scarier, but so much more interesting, I think."

The cast on filming on the Isle of Man:
R – "We had a good time on the Isle of Man, we spent about three weeks working, we were just in the theatre the whole time."
Z – "It was great. No, I didn’t know where it was. I was looking forward to that seclusion. From what I’d heard it was a pretty quiet place, and there weren’t a lot of people there. You know? I can’t tell you how appealing that sounded."
R – "The girls did find out Zac was there and they showed up,"
Z – "Yeah… anyways… I found out there was a whole lot of people there. And we met… most of them. I mean, I felt pretty welcome."
C – "I don’t think anybody has been better received there."
Z – "It was funny, we couldn’t really go outside that much. We couldn’t really leave the theatre… we were there a whole lot. Day and night."
C – "Plus the theatre was literally next door, adjacent to the hotel we were staying in."
Z – "There was a tunnel from the hotel to the theatre."
C – "You didn’t have to go outside from your room to the set."
Z – "I didn’t. Didn’t go outside. It was great."

For more from the interview keep an eye on PopSugarUK next week, where you'll hear more from director and stars, including Brit newcomer Christian McKay.

View 10 Photos ›

The Vampire Diaries "The Turning Point": The Good, The Bad and The Bloody

BuzzSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:15:00 -0800

I was already bummed knowing this was the last week of new episodes of The Vampire Diaries until January; and now, having seen it, I'm freaking out a little bit. I knew there was going to be an epic cliffhanger, I just didn't know how epic!

With new vampires, violence and passion come "The Turning Point" - a title that would apply to many things that happened this week. So as usual, let's break down the good, the bad, and the bloody of this week (plenty of spoilers ahead!) when you read more.

The Good

Stefan and Elena finally gave up on their "are we or aren't we" dance and got together. I mean, together together. Vampire boots were knocked, but there wasn't a happy ending. More on that later.
Logan's vampiric turn made for gruesome excitement, especially now that Damon is trying to be on his best behavior. It also brought forth new mysteries; why did Sheriff Forbes bury Logan and write emails on his behalf instead of saying it was an animal attack? And who did turn him? My money was on Alaric, but now I'm not so sure. I also enjoyed his interactions with Damon, despite their constant shooting of wood bullets at each other.
OK, fine: I do like Caroline and Matt together now. Their coupling is just kind of sweet, and the fact that they bonded over So You Think You Can Dance?! I felt like it was my birthday.
I'm a fan of cool guy teacher Alaric, even if he is probably a vampire. I like to think he's more exciting than that - could he be a good vampire like Stefan? Interestingly, I don't think that Stefan or Damon has actually interfaced with Alaric yet, which is telling to me. If I had to guess, I'd say they knew each other. And what of him also being a "daywalker," when Stefan and Damon are so secretive about their rings?
I need to know more about the Gilbert family legacy, especially since Jeremy discovered an ancestor who wrote fiction about monsters. I like that the show made me care about more side characters I hadn't previously, like Jenna, Jeremy, and even Tyler. About Tyler. . . I don't want to speak too soon, but I think there's something very interesting happening with him.

The Bad

Isn't it a little too early to be saying "I love you," Elena? She even wants to see and make out with his scary vampire face when he gets turned on. Weeeird.

The Bloody

Newborn Logan is literally out for blood, but that pile of hoarded bodies that Logan was keeping made me sick to my stomach.
Anyone else feeling sorry for Caroline? Girlfriend's always getting bloodied up. Someone give her a self-defense lesson.
So basically unless you're Stefan or Damon, if you're a vampire you will only last one episode before being staked. Logan gets staked by Alaric by the end of the hour, which is unfortunate for Damon, because Logan had just promised him there was another way to break the spell holding Katherine and the other vampires under Fell's Church. Guess we'll just have to wait to meet little Miss Vixen.
It might have been time for Stefan to hide the Katherine photo, or at least have come clean about their resemblance. Lord knows finding a photo of my doppelganger at my undead boyfriend's house would freak me out too. That's what happens for Elena, who leaves Stefan's in a devastated rush. When someone stands in front of her car, she has a gnarly crash, which is terrifying in itself. It gets much more horrifying when the "person" she hit uncracks their limbs to stand up and come toward her. Yeesh! (BTW, did that scene remind anyone of Tara in the first season finale of True Blood?)

I don't know how I'm going to deal with the show's hiatus for two long months, let alone waiting that long to find out what was coming for Elena. Or, who Alaric is; did he kill Logan to protect Jenna, eliminate a problem-causing newborn, or something more insidious? To talk more about the show (especially in the next few weeks without new episodes) join the Hooked on Vampire Diaries group in the Buzz Community!

Photos courtesy of The CW

Awkward! What's Your Sign?

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:00:00 -0800

"What's your sign?" This might be the most direct way to find out a person's astrological sign, but often the curiosity is disguised by less ugh-inducing words. "When's your birthday?" is what I often hear. "So you're a Pisces? Aries?" And then, inevitably, silence. Quietly judging silence.

The last time this happened to me, I fired back with, "What does that mean to you?" I never got an answer. Why ask the question if it's not going to segue into a new discussion?

Don't get me wrong - I read my horoscope almost every day, so it's not like I don't want to believe. It's just that I wouldn't use astrology as a tactic to get to know someone or, worse, seek a rationale behind someone's actions. Do sign seekers, overt or covert, ever make you want to unleash some Scorpio-style wrath?

(By the way - if you have some awkward tales of your own, join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

Source: Flickr User Leo Reynolds