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What Do You Know About Beaujolais Nouveau?

YumSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:50:36 -0800

As the French like to proclaim: Le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrivé! Raise your glass, because Beaujolais Nouveau - the first wine of the harvest season in the Northern Hemisphere - has finally arrived. Yesterday was the annual release date for the wine, which is welcomed on what's called "Beaujolais Nouveau Day" with a colossal celebration across France each year.

Since the wine - which certainly isn't for snobs - makes such a splash each year, I thought I would throw out some questions and see if you can, ahem, arrive at the answers. What do you know about Beaujolais Nouveau? Let's find out.

Take the quiz

90210 vs. Melrose Place: Which Was More Scandalous?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:30:19 -0800

The Tuesday night CW block made a particularly strong showing this week. Personally, I thought 90210 had one of its best episodes of the season - nice character development, a few teary moments, and some "oh no she didn't" disses. And as for Melrose Place, I've got two words for you: Heather Locklear. Yes, Amanda Woodward is back, and it's quickly becoming clear that the residents aren't going to have it easy any time soon.

So with plenty of drama to go around, which show shocked more? Let's break down all the juicy tidbits and decide the victor when you read more.

90210 point: Well, Annie sleeps with Jasper, and she skips into the kitchen in the morning to tell her parents about her new boyfriend. Debbie invites him for dinner - but once Dixon warns about his druggie reputation, Deb and Harry are less than enthused and forbid Annie from seeing him. She, of course, gets defensive, and as for Jasper's reaction? He tries to kill Navid by pushing him down the stairs at school.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Speaking of crazy murderers, did Michael off Sydney? Sure seems like it after David ransacks his car and finds her bloody necklace in a plastic bag. Now, he's determined to clear Auggie's name (who has since been shunned by all of his friends) and get payback by putting Michael behind bars.

90210 point: Richard and his mom walk in on Naomi with Jamie. (How about the Dean sarcastically calling Naomi "classy?" Ouch.) Naomi admits to Jamie that she was dating Richard for the wrong reasons, and he breaks up with her over it. Her guilty conscience getting the best of her, Naomi then confesses to Richard, too. Jamie finds out and asks to get back together, but unfortunately for him, Naomi had an epiphany during their 24 hours apart - she's still not over Liam.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Like I said, Amanda Woodward is back, and she's out to make Ella's life hell. First she fires Caleb, and then she sends in an agent named Melissa to lure Ella away from WPK as a "test." Oh, and did I mention that Melissa comes on to Ella and the two women make out in a back room? That part totally came out of nowhere - talk about scandalous.

90210 point: Last week Silver's mom Jackie wasn't waking up, and this week starts with her being rushed to the hospital. The doctor tells Silver and Kelly to say their goodbyes, but Kelly refuses after all the years her mother mistreated her. She regrets that decision later, so she finally makes amends and tells Jackie that she forgives her. Jackie passes soon after, and I admittedly got a bit choked up.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Things are looking up for Riley - her jeans campaign is all over magazines - but once Amanda Woodward steps in, she concocts a rags-to-riches fake bio for Riley for PR purposes. Once the press starts asking questions, Riley admits to the lie and things blow up in WPR's face. Amanda seeks revenge by asking Ella to rat on Riley for abusing her sick days for the photo shoots. When Ella won't agree, ruthless Amanda does it herself, and Riley gets fired.

90210 point: Adrianna tells Navid that he was easy to get over because she was never really in love with him. Brutal. Then Naomi discovers Adrianna's stash, and she says good riddance to Adrianna, too. This can't be good for her substance problem.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Can we talk about Violet and Auggie's sex scene on the kitchen counter? Lauren's stripteases make me blush enough already, but this may have even topped that.

90210 point: I still can't stand Jen, but we're slowly starting to see her softer side. Ryan suggests going camping, and she packs a fondue set and a Burberry rain coat - not exactly low-maintenance is she? After she complains a lot, Ryan tells her he's disappointed since he's always bending over backwards for her. She takes his words to heart - even builds a fire! - and opens up about being broke . . . and still married.
Melrose Place counterpoint: In other couple news, David woos Lauren by decorating her apartment like Autumn, complete with falling leaves. But just as things get hot and heavy, she puts on the brakes, because of her "issues" with intimacy. How long are they going to drag this out?

While I really enjoyed 90210, we're talking about scandal here, so I'm going to give this week to Melrose Place. Having Amanda Woodward on your side already makes you a lock, but then throw in the borderline porno - Auggie and Violet, Lauren and David, Ella and Melissa - and it's a no-brainer. Plus, we had a great MP cliffhanger - what exactly is Sydney is referencing in her letter to Amanda that says, "You'll never find it?" You'll never find what?!

Tell me your theories (and what you thought about the episodes) in the comments! And don't forget that if you're a 90210 follower, you can always join the 90210 Superfans group in the Buzz Community.

Photos courtesy of The CW

Rob, Kristen, and Taylor Are This Week's Entertainment

BuzzSugar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:56:22 -0800

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner have been posing for photo ops all over town - check out Pop's favorite promo tour moments - and it wouldn't be complete without an interview with Entertainment Weekly. In the cute interview, the costars quip about everything from Rob's attachment to his signature hair to Kristen's confession that she'd like to quit smoking to Taylor's obsession with hitting the gym for New Moon. There're also tidbits about Rob and Kristen's off-screen relationship and how Robert handles fandom. They're clearly a tight-knight trio, so check out the highlights below. If you can't get enough Twilight, keep the convos going in the Twilight Saga community group, and be sure to check back next week for my own interview with Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz!

Robert Pattinson on his hair in Eclipse: I swear to you I’ve never experienced anything like this. It's every single day. In Twilight, they wanted me to have extensions down to my hips.
Kristen Stewart: He's a liar. He doesn't remember. He's remembering how they made him feel, but they were just, like, down to here [pointing to her shoulders].
Pattinson: So I told them, "Look, that's just not going to happen." I said, "It looks like this already – I'll come to set like this." I sound so stupid, but in a lot of ways the hair is 75 percent of my performance, so in the second one I said, "Listen, I need to tone down the hair. Let's make it a little more real, a little bit more . . . Method.” [Laughs] And then in the third one, I'm doing fight scenes and there's a strand going down my forehead and they're like, "We need to do it again because no one will recognize you! No one will know who it is!" I'm like, really, is my face that generic?
Stewart: They want proof that you're doing your own stunts, man!
Pattinson: I have to look like the poster at all times. Just in case they want to use any clip for the trailer. Any clip at all! There were about five people in different departments who, because of my forelock, ended up in tears.

For tons of more quotes, just read more.

EW: How are you all coping with living in a fishbowl?
Pattinson: It really depends on the mood. When I met you last year [before Twilight came out], I was doing interviews very sporadically and I never got recognized. Now it's like anywhere I go there's immediate recognition. So there's more of a responsibility . . .
Stewart: I don't mind working every day. It's just, suddenly, I have this other role. And that's really disappointing. All I'd like to do is go outside with a book and figure out what to do with the day. And if I can't do that, then I'm just going to sit in my hotel room on my balcony and chain smoke. [Pauses] I'm going to stop smoking. I'm not such a good smoker, anyway. It's not in my bones. I'm gonna drop it.
Pattinson: The three of us have been working for two years [straight]. It does feel like your day has a shape just as soon as you wake up. I just forget what it's like when you're free.
EW: Taylor, you're the only one who almost lost a shot at the sequels. Do you have a different relationship with fame because you had to fight for your job?
Lautner: No, I kept my eye on the prize 100 percent of the time. I was motivated. I wasn't even thinking about anything else.
Stewart: Thank God you got the job. I wouldn't have wanted to deal with you if you didn’t. After all those months of working out!
Lautner: I just wanted to focus on what I could control, and I worked really hard.
EW: You mean in the gym? Because I see your abs everywhere these days.
Lautner: Yeah, the gym was a major part, but I really studied the books and the character, too. And it all turned out good.
EW: Kristen, it must be nice to watch the guys' appearances get obsessed over for a change.
Stewart: Seriously, it's a trip to sit back and look at the sexual objectification of these dudes. I've never been asked to do any of this stuff.
EW: You guys are lucky. You clearly all dig each other.
Lautner: The amount of time we have to spend with each other – if I didn't like these two, it would be exhausting.
EW: Rob, you made Remember Me this summer, between sequels. Was that the set in New York, where you were knocked into a cab by hordes of fans?
Pattinson: That was completely made up. I was walking across the street, and there was one cab going about one mile an hour and it nudged my leg. The story ended up being how I got hit by a cab because of a mob of screaming fans, [but] it was 4 o'clock in the morning and there was one person there – a paparazzi. . . . And then there was another time – apparently they said on the news that I had a drug overdose. The security guy saw it on TV, and I wasn't in my room, and he was like, "Uh-oh!" It's just so weird. I wake up and my room is too messy to order room service, and so I end up eating a pack of M&M’s for breakfast – and it takes me about five hours to find it. That's my first five hours of the day. [Laughing] And then you see the news and think, "Who cares if he had a drug overdose? It would probably make him more interesting!"
EW: Kristen and Rob, why do you think people are so obsessed with the state of your off-screen relationship?
Pattinson: Good question. That's a little thing I have to think about every day.
Stewart: Maybe it's just my personality, but I'm never going to answer it. I probably would've answered it if people hadn't made such a big deal about it. But I'm not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about "Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just f---ing give your whole life away? Can I have your firstborn child?"
EW: You don’t think just saying, for example, "Listen, we dated for a few months, it was weird, we're better off as friends" would end the speculation?
Pattinson: No way.
Stewart: People are deeply judgmental and I'm not strong enough. I would love to be like, "I don't care what anybody thinks." But I'm a very private person. And think about every hypothetical answer: "Okay, we are. We aren't. I’m a lesbian." I've thought about this a lot. There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. I'm just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like, "F--- off." I would answer the exact same way."

10 First Date Questions

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

First dates are typically meant for getting to know one another, but when our nerves get the best of us, it's easy to walk away from the night without really learning much about him at all. To prevent that from happening, I've come up with 10 first date questions that are sure to enlighten you on some of the important character traits you'll need to know later down the road - sometimes knowing how he takes his coffee is as important as whether or not he wants kids! Check out my questions below and please add your own in the comments below.

Are you a dog or cat person?
What's your favorite food?
What's your least favorite food?
Are you a night owl or a morning person?
Winter or Summer?

To see five more questions, read more.

What are you allergic to?
Are you a sports fan?
Do you like to travel?
Do you like to go out and let loose?
Are you close with your family?

Source

Tech Dating 101: Do You Save Messages From Your Date?

GeekSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:02:00 -0800

One of the benefits of of digital technology is that every email, text, and voicemail is easily saved, stored, and relived. It's helpful when you're dating someone - I think it's both fun and cute to reread old messages. (Though I suppose this can get dicey when trying to cut your ex out of your digital life, but that's a topic for another day). When it's good - it's great!

I hadn't thought too much about it until a recently engaged friend unearthed a years-long log of emails and text messages, starting with the first email her now-fiance sent the morning after they met. My other friends and I teased her at first, but then realized that reading through her saved emails was almost like reading a book of the history of their relationship. Plus, it's fun to look back one month, six months, or even a year into the past to see what was going on, even if they're mundane messages about what movie to catch or what to make for dinner that night.

To find out why I think it's helpful to save old messages, just read more.

Besides its historical significance, saving messages from someone you're dating is also helpful when you're starting a new relationship. Who hasn't sat with their girlfriends and gadgets and analyzed a string of text messages from a new guy or potential date? (See also my advice on decoding postdate texts and instant messages).

Do you save these bits of communication when you're starting a new relationship? What about when you're in an established one? And do you ever go back to reread them? I've started doing it, and I must admit, looking back on emails or text messages from a few months before is both nostalgic and sweet.

Do you have a Love 2.0 questioned you want answered? Join the Tech Dating 101 because we understand that love and dating are stressful and the Internet and social networking sites can just make things worse. You never know, your question could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

Do Tell: What's your Favorite Question to Ask on a First Date?

DearSugar — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 08:30:00 -0700

Dating can be quite exhausting although some enjoy the process much more than others. Asking the right questions is key to deciphering whether or not you have a connection with your date and if you could be a compatible match with the person sitting opposite you. So ladies, do tell, what is your favorite question to ask on a first date?

Source

90210 vs. Melrose Place: Which Was More Scandalous?

BuzzSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:30:12 -0800

This week's CW drama block may have its share of cool guest stars like N.E.R.D. and Samantha Ronson, but, on the whole, it's a total mess. On the one hand, you've got the unstable girls of 90210 having emotional breakdowns at the drop of a hat; on the other, the Melrose Place residents are busy sneaking around to cover up their crimes. Personally, I was a bit annoyed by all the over-the-topness - especially you, Annie. Oh, and you, Ivy. But hey, at least it gives us a few surprising moments.

Ready to dissect each show and decide which packed more punch? (Warning: major spoilers!) Take a peek at my arguments and then weigh in with your own when you read more.

90210 point: Sasha is officially a nut job. First she tells Dixon that she's pregnant, but when Debbie gets wind of it, she questions Sasha even further to catch her in her baby lies. But the best part? When Debbie says the line, "It starts with you're not pregnant, and it ends with stay away from my son." Oh, snap! Congrats Debbie, you just went up a notch on the list of cool TV moms. Sasha backs off, telling Dixon she had a "miscarriage."
Melrose Place counterpoint: Did David kill Sydney? They sure try to make it seem that way. David tells Ella that he was blackout drunk that night after finding out that Syd was sleeping with his father - and then he has a flashback where he wakes up with blood all over himself and a knife in his hand. I gasped a little over the big reveal, but I'm not entirely convinced that David wasn't set up by someone else.

90210 point: Annie is getting in way over her head with Jasper, and unfortunately, she seems much too insecure to dig herself out. When Navid hears that Jasper is a dealer, he tells Annie and she confronts Jasper about it. Jasper wigs out, making Annie cry and beg forgiveness. Later, we see Jasper selling drugs to someone, so we know the rumors are true. For more on his buyer, keep reading.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Jonah makes out with Kendra, the hot movie producer, literally within the first five minutes of the episode. (That didn't take long.) He stops things from going further, but when he comes clean to Riley, he gets on her case again for her kiss with Auggie. She apologizes profusely, but the damage has already been done. By the end of the episode, I was thinking, Wait, did they actually just break up?! I don't think so, but if you stuck around for next week's promo, things do not look good for the engaged couple.

90210 point: Jen is back, throwing around her prima donna wicked attitude. She walks in on Ryan during his date with the bartender from the previous episode and goes into attack mode with the verbal jabs. ("You look older closer up.") Ryan is actually turned on by her jealousy, and the two become exclusive. But what I can't understand is why, after he knows that she lies, does he actually trust her story about Liam coming on to her? He totally buys it!
Melrose Place counterpoint: Auggie finally gives his a-hole boss Marcello a piece of his mind, er, fists. Marcello passes off one of Auggie's recipes as his own, and then he makes a few lewd comments about Riley - and you know how Auggie feels about Riley. He starts swinging, knocking Marcello out. Back at the apartment later, Violet shows up, and in a moment of what I can only blame on Auggie's emotional distress, the two finally knock boots. I'm guessing this means we'll be seeing Violet's worst kind of crazy very soon (right before she and Auggie say sayonara).

90210 point: Adrianna is inching closer to her previous life of drug use. It starts when she plays a song asking for Navid's forgiveness. (So cheesy!) He turns her down, so she continues sulking in bed, sobbing. Silver and Naomi want her to go to a meeting so she can stay clean, and with due concern - at the end of the episode, we see her buying from none other than Jasper.
Melrose Place counterpoint: Ella's squeaky-clean client, Jessie, is hospitalized with major cocaine in his system, so she begs Lauren to write a fake report citing an allergy as the cause of his stay. Lauren refuses. (Anyone else confused about why Lauren continues to take the high road, despite her side prostitution gig?) Ella then discovers a wad of cash in Lauren's room and realizes her Pretty Woman secret. Of course Lauren denies the accusations, but no matter - Ella decides to let her star take the fall anyway and promises to never question Lauren again.

90210 had way more melodramatic outbursts, but those ladies were so crazy that it kind of turned me off. (You girls give women a bad name. Even Violet seemed normal this week compared to you.) So I'm giving this week to Melrose by default: I was genuinely shocked at David's bloody flashback and the fact that Jonah has suddenly broken out of his perfect-fiance persona. I expect scandal from someone like Auggie or Ella, but from Jonah? Come on!

Do you disagree? Were you actually loving all of the melodrama on 90210?

Don't forget that you can also keep the conversation going over in the 90210 Superfans group in the Buzz Community. Check it out!

Photos courtesy of The CW

Ask a Party Planner: Should I Date Outside My Religion?

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

This week, a party planner offers advice to a woman unsure about a new love interest. After you read her answer, be sure to check out our Group Therapy group where I found this question.

Today's Question:

I'm a single 32-year-old woman and I am under immense pressure to get married from my family and community. I have been single for two years since my last relationship, and four months ago I met this guy and started dating him. We quickly got close and we really care for each other. He wants me to be his girlfriend now, however there a few issues with us - he is only 28 and from another religion. If this goes anywhere, then we are sure to face opposition from both our families. We are from cultures where our families mean a lot to us.

We have talked about this being a long-term relationship, but we have yet to figure out if we will end up married since it's obviously too early. I'm wondering if I should date other guys while we figure this out. I really don't want to, but my friends warn me to not put all my eggs in one basket, especially when he is four years younger than me. I also worry that our religions will come between us in the future.

What should I do? Date other guys, or be his girlfriend and see this through?

Signed, Unsure

To see the party planner's answer, read more.

Dear Unsure,

It seems like there are two issues here: first, his age, and second, your religions. Let's discuss.

I think you should not worry about his age. Twenty-eight is old enough to be in a serious, committed relationship if that's what he wants. Like you said, it's early in the relationship, so you can't predict whether you two are going to get married. But there is only one way to find out - by dating him exclusively.

As for the religion issue: this is something to seriously consider. But I think you need to figure out if you're willing to date someone with a different background - is it worth it to you, not your family, to work through the inevitable obstacles (like choosing how to celebrate holidays, or how to raise kids)? As for your family, I think that they will be more supportive than you think. If you're happy, they should be happy for you too. And you say this guy really values his family, so I think it's great that you found someone who thinks his family is important - just like you do.

If you really like this guy, it's worth giving it a chance. Good luck.

Signed,
A party planner

Website of the Day: Measy

GeekSugar — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:25:45 -0700

I have an issue when purchasing new gadgets: I seem to know what I want (I need a digital camera that takes awesome close-up photos but also works well in low light), but I'm not positive exactly which make or model is the best choice.

And while I appreciate the product reviews on some of my favorite sites, I don't feel like exhaustively reading them before I make a decision. So, I'm excited about Measy, a new site that aggregates product information, reviews, photos, and shopping information to help you make the best decision via a fun quiz.

To keep reading about Measy, just read more.

If you're in the market for a new digital camera, DSLR, HDTV, or netbook but aren't sure which one's right for you, just answer a few easy questions. What's your price range? Which features are most important, or not important at all? Would you prefer to purchase from an eco-friendly company? Measy then recommends top product matches, scored on performance in each category you deemed important. Scores are supplemented with product reviews from top sites like PC Magazine and CNET, so you know why each product scored the way it did. Results also include links, so you can directly purchase the product.

The site was just launched in beta, so I'm looking forward to seeing which features they roll out next. I wish there was a Measy for every purchase - or maybe even online dating!

Have an interesting website you want to share? Here's how you can post your favorite websites to our Website of the Day group:

First of all, join the Website of the Day group.
Click "New Post" under the website of the day tab at the top of the page.
Give your story a "Title."
Fill in the "Body" with a link to your favorite website and the reasons why you love it.
Type "Technology and Gadgets" in the Categories box
Add keyword(s) in the tag field with relevant tags (for example mine for this story was "Website of the Day").
Choose whether you want the post to be private or public.
Click "Create Post" to submit content.

Hump Day: I Feel Used When I Have Sex With the Man I Love

TresSugar — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"After five years of being apart, I'm now re-dating my high school sweetheart whom I love. We lost our virginities to each other, and even during those five years we continued to have sex every now and then when we were single and managed to see each other. (We went to colleges in different cities.)

Now that we are together again, we've decided to wait a while before we have sex, but that does not mean that I don't find him attractive or that I don't sometimes just want to rip off his clothes. The problem is that one of the last times we had sex (about a year before we officially reconnected), I felt like a prostitute. I don't exactly know why, I just felt used afterwards and it was not enjoyable to me at all. I think part of the reason I say 'prostitute' is because he kept making me change positions and just seemed really into it for himself. I love him and I know that he loves me, but I think I'm having trouble getting over that experience. Even now, he will ask me to dress up for him so he can masturbate, which, as his girlfriend, I would normally be happy to do, but I just get that 'used' feeling again. I feel like a piece of meat, or just an object.

Of course he senses my change in happiness and it ruins the mood. I don't know exactly why I started feeling this way and I don't know how to get over it. I'm so afraid that once we start having sex, I will continue to feel this way. What's wrong with me? Please help!"

To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more
First thing: there is nothing wrong with you or how you’re feeling. Whatever is going on for him, whatever his intentions or motivations, there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you feel. There’s a big difference between having uncomfortable feelings and having something be wrong with you.

Second thing: trust how you feel about this. Something in this situation doesn’t feel right to you, and whether that’s about him, you, or the two of you together, your feelings are there to tell you something important. Unfortunately, they don’t always give you a lot of useful information, but they are valuable for making sure that you know that something is going on. In my experience, the best thing to do is listen to that and try to figure out what those feelings are trying to tell you.

It sounds like you have some unresolved feelings from that first experience of feeling like he was using you. When old feelings linger, they can affect how we feel about present-day experiences. Sometimes, that’s because the current situation is a lot like the past one, and at other times, it’s because we project those emotions onto the present even when the circumstances are very different. Either way, the best approach is to create space to talk about them and figure out what you need. I strongly suggest having that conversation with him when you’re not in the middle of the emotion because that makes it easier to talk about what’s going on without getting lost in the feelings.

Since you said that you’re not sure what it was that made that so uncomfortable for you, here are a few questions that might be worth exploring:

What was it about that first time that felt uncomfortable for you? When he was into changing positions so much, what about that made you feel used? Was it how he did it? Something he was saying? If he had said or done something differently, would that have made it better for you? The more you’re able to answer questions like these, the easier it’ll be to talk about your experiences.

Also, I’m not quite clear from how you phrased it, but when he asks you to dress up for him while he masturbates, do you do that? In my book, that counts as sex and I’m wondering how that fits into your mutual decision to hold off on sex. I can totally see how a request like that could trigger that “used” feeling if the two of you are supposed to be waiting. If it feels to you like he’s pushing your boundaries or trying to get you to do something beyond your comfort zone, one of the best things you can do is tell him that you don’t want to do that. If he persists, that’s a big warning sign to end things.

It would be really easy in this sort of situation to imagine all sorts of reasons why he’s acting like this. And while any of those guesses might be accurate to some degree, I want to caution you to try to not jump to conclusions. For example, some possible things that might be prompting him to act like this could be:

Maybe he’s gotten interested in experimenting different ways of having sex and doesn’t know how to start the conversation with you about it, so he’s just going for it. Maybe he’s gotten into porn and is trying to act out what he’s seen on the screen. Maybe he wants to explore some fantasies, his or yours, and hopes that you’ll reciprocate with your ideas. Maybe he’s clueless about how these situations feel to you and thinks that you’re enjoying it as much as he does, at least until it’s obvious that you don’t. Maybe he’s being selfish about your sexual interactions. Maybe he’s hoping that you’ll speak up with ideas of things to do.

Of course, there’s no way to be sure what actually is going on for him unless you ask (and he’s willing to tell you). The longer these things build up, the bigger they get. So as challenging as it may seem to talk about it with him, it’ll be a lot easier if you do it sooner rather than waiting. Take some time to tell him how you’ve been feeling. Find out what his intentions were. Trust your feelings and keep your boundaries solid.

I know that’s all pretty vague and I wish I could give you some more concrete suggestions. But there are too many possibilities for me to be able to steer you more than that. This sounds like a really hard time for you and whatever you decide to do and however things work out, I hope you find the support that you deserve.

And no matter how you feel, there is nothing wrong with you.