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Tantric Massage, Anyone?

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

You may have a vision of Tantric massage - gentle touching, nakedness, feathers, scented oils, silk sheets, and seductive Indian music playing in the background. You're not exactly far off, but there's much more to it than that. Tantric massage was created from the belief that if you're happy sexually, then you'll be healthy. This type of massage is meant to awaken Kundalini, a type of powerful healing energy. It has also been called erotic or sensual massage because it's been known to cause orgasms, but this isn't the goal, and it isn't supposed to involve sex at all. There's a lot of kneading and tickling of the entire body, but it's all in preparation to get the receiver ready for the attention you'll be paying to their special business. Don't think of this as weird, but more as a new kind of foreplay to try, a way to deepen the connection with your honey and to spark your sense of passion. So set aside an hour this week with a bottle of sandalwood-scented massage oil - what have you got to lose?

Dear's Advice: I recommend getting a book such as Tantric Massage: The Erotic Touch of Love ($12). It will help you better understand the massage techniques and concepts. I feel like there's really no wrong way to do it, and if you're wearing next to nothing with your loved one, then nothing but good can come out of it anyway!

A Do or a Don't: Food in the Bedroom

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

The texture and taste of food is often a sensual experience on its own, so you can see how it could spice things up in the bedroom as well. I’m talking about sexy foods like strawberries, whipped cream, honey, and chocolate! But then again, food is also messy, sticky, and sometimes just downright dirty, which are the parts of sex most people like least. I’m torn on this one, so let me ask you this: Do you think using food as foreplay is sexy? Or is it one of those things that’s a whole lot better in theory than in practice?

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The How-To Lounge: Giving a Lap Dance

DearSugar — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Now, I don’t think that anyone should be rushing out and giving lap dances to random gents, but lap dances can be a sexy and fun way to spice up your foreplay. It can also be a serious treat for your man and a great way to take the initiative. To learn my tips, read more.

First and most important, act confident - even if you don’t feel it. Tell yourself that you’re the sexiest woman on the planet, and then act like you really believe it. It will make all the difference in the world.
Put on some music. Not only will the right song set the mood, but it’ll also give you some rhythm to move along with.
Don’t be afraid to tantalize him for a while without actually touching him directly. Move your body up and down in front of him, before straddling him with your legs.
Then use your upper body to roll into him and press up against him. You can even smack your bottom and smile at him - he'll never see it coming!
Finally, put his hands on your body while you run your hands through his hair. Lift off his shirt, and let your fingertips trail down his chest.

As always, have fun, and do what feels right for you!

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What's the Deal With the A-spot?

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I'm sure you've all heard of the female G-spot, but what about the A-spot? And no, it has nothing to do with your bum, although that's what I first thought, too! I'm actually referring to the Anterior Fornix Erogenous (AFE) Zone. It's an area inside a woman in between her G-spot and her cervix. It's extremely sensitive and should feel a little swollen, spongy, and wrinkly. When stimulated, not only does your A-spot help with lubrication, but it can make sex beyond pleasurable.

I'm sure you're dying to know how to get to your A-spot, so to find out, read more.

In order to find your A-spot, Dr. Chua Chee Ann of Perak, Malaysia, discovered the AFE Zone Stimulation Technique. In order to get there, your partner is going to need to use his or her index finger. It may take some time to pinpoint your money spot, but if your partner is continuously stroking the upper front part of your vaginal wall, it's only a matter of time before he or she finds it. Once lubrication begins, you'll know it's working.

This A-spot technique is recommended to be carried out every day for a week, for five to 10 minutes each time - I guess practice makes perfect, right? This technique will both increase natural lubrication (which is bound to make sex better), and will allow you to tap into an extremely erogenous area of your body which should help you reach some amazing orgasms.

Have any of you ever had any experience with your A-spot?

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Dear Poll: How Long Is Too Long?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

While research may proclaim that lovemaking should last anywhere between three and 13 minutes that doesn’t mean that the rest of us are leaving egg timers set at 7.3 minutes - the average session length - by our beds, ready and waiting. I’m not saying everyone needs to be practicing the art of tantric sex and going at it for hours upon hours, but seriously, is breaking the 15-minute mark so bad? Ladies, studies aside, how long is too long for you?

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Dear Poll: Does Your Foreplay Include Making Out?

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Quickies can be great fun, but I still have to say, I’m all for foreplay. Recently, however, I’ve had friends point out to me - both single ladies and coupled - that making out seems to be missing from their foreplay. They exchange a kiss or two, but then it’s on to other things. A full-on make-out session prior to getting it on might be a little much, but I think it’s good to incorporate a lot of passionate kisses into foreplay. Relationship or no, does your foreplay include making out?

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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Sex in the Shower

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

It can be a total turn on to enjoy some sexy time outside of the bedroom. And there’s nothing quite as steamy as a soapy lather and two naked bods in a hot shower. But having sex in water is not without its negatives, and the confining and slippery walls of the shower can be especially hard to maneuver. Sometimes it ends up being more awkward and frustrating than heart-pounding and sexy. But I suppose it all depends on your idea of a good time, so in that case, do you think sex in the shower is a good idea or a bad idea?

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Do Tell: What's Your Definition of Perfect Foreplay?

DearSugar — Sun, 25 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

While quickies can be fun, I think there's something to be said for languishing in some serious foreplay. Not only does it really get you in the mood, but it's a great opportunity to communicate your needs to your partner.

I think foreplay is best when you take your time, letting a burst of intensity sneak in every once and a while, but some people like foreplay to be short and sweet. Every woman's different, and we all have our own set of likes and dislikes, so do tell: What's your definition of perfect foreplay?

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Where Do You Stand? Quickies

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 07:54:48 -0700

Quickies can be great fun, especially when some serious passion strikes or you're just too busy to fit in a lengthier lovemaking session. However, the problem with a quick romp is that it makes little to no room for foreplay, which can often be the most important part of a satisfying sexual encounter.

Some would say that a quickie is great in theory but, in reality, leaves something to be desired. But what do you think? Is it a great way to fit in a much-needed intimate moment, or is it a sore substitute for some serious sex? When it comes to quickies, where do you stand?

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Dear Poll: When Was Your Last Hickey?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:30:52 -0700

Even in high school when getting a hickey was like wearing a badge of honor, I didn't like them. I love a steamy makeout session as much as the next girl, but not only do I find bruising unsexy, but I just don't really enjoy being nibbled on like that! Needless to say, I was totally shocked when my friend had one peeking out by her collarbone just the other day. I know she’s dating someone new, but still, I thought once you reach a certain age, hickeys were a thing of the past. I know I can’t remember the last time I had one, but when was the last time you were sporting a hickey?

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