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Ask a Geek Girl: Dealing With Annoying FB Status Updates

GeekSugar — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:30:31 -0700

We probably all have one or two in our update feed: a friend whose Facebook status updates - for any reason - drive you nuts. Maybe they update too frequently, are serious oversharers, or post updates about things you just don't find interesting. Reader DefyAllLogic posted this etiquette question in our Ask a Geek Girl group:

"I've already created lists of 'friends' and 'not really friends' and have my homepage set to only show the 'friends' updates. But I'm starting to think I need to only be Facebook friends with people I'm friends with in real life. Is it wrong to defriend people because their status updates are annoying?"

For my advice, read more.

Now that the friending frenzy seems to have ended, a lot of people are looking to streamline their Facebook friends list. When I asked, 82 percent of you said you've had to unfriend someone, whether it was the result of a failed relationship, a falling-out, or just because you didn't feel close enough with the person to consider them a Facebook friend. I'm a big fan of Facebook's "hide" features that allow you to block out status updates, photos, and other unwanted content from friends. This begs the question: if you don't want to receive someone's Facebook updates, what's the point of being their Facebook friend?

If you're ready to pare down your friends list, create a list of friend standards. Try, "I'm only Facebook friends with people I'd feel comfortable calling on the phone." Having a set of rules in place gives you a defense if your former Facebook friend confronts you after figuring out you've defriended them Besides, if Miss Manners says ignoring friend requests is OK, then gracefully defriending is acceptable, too!

Do you have more Facebook friend advice for DefyAllLogic? Share your thoughts with the group in the comments.

Do you have a tech question you'd like to ask us? Join the Ask a Geek Girl group where you can ask everything and anything related to technology. And you never know, it could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

How Do I Handle This Strip Club Situation?

Tres Community — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:00:15 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

First of all my husband and I have been married for half of a year now. He's in the Navy and just got deployed, but right before the deployment he was sent to Hawaii for one day. I dropped him off at the airport and it was so hard for me to let him go. He called from Hawaii and we talked for five minutes then he said he had to go and he would call back.

As I was checking our bank account to check on the bills I noticed he had paid to go in to some type of club. While crying my eyes out because of how much I already missed him and knowing he wasn't coming home any time soon, I waited for him to call back. When he finally did I got him to tell me the truth and it turned out to be a strip club. This was his first time going into a strip club. The problem is that I feel so offended and disrespected. I know I'm not unattractive, and I'm very open minded in our sex life. So to me it seems as if I'm not enough for him, and that he didn't care about how I feel about strip clubs. The fact that he was lusting over those girls makes me so angry and upset.

To see the rest, .

When we talked I was so mad and disappointed and couldn't stop crying. But after a while I realized that I've been told not to say anything negative or upsetting to him since he was going on deployment to a very stressful environment. I won't be able to talk to him at all while he's gone, I can only send emails but I can't confront him there either. So I had to pretend that I got over it and that I was OK, so he wouldn't feel bad and guilty. But in reality I feel so disgusted and can't take the thought of him wanting someone else. I'm alone and don't have any family here, this is our first deployment and I'm still trying to handle it. He made things so much worse for me, now I'm not just worried about his safety, but also at the thought of when he goes to a port he's going to cheat on me. I'm just hurt and feel resentment towards him, but for as long as he's out I have to pretend I'm fine and support him through the emails. I know some people might think I'm over reacting, but to me this is just like cheating.

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Tech Dating 101: He CC'd Me on an Email to His Mom

GeekSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:33:45 -0800

A friend of mine needs some advice: last week, her brand-new boyfriend (we're taking days here, not even weeks) wrote an email list of gifts he wanted for Christmas, sent it to his mom, and CC'd my friend. To be fair, my friend did ask him to send her his Christmas wish list, but she never expected him to send the same list to his mother at the same time.

She's a little freaked out because she thinks this is a sign of him moving too quickly. On the flip side, he is very close to his mother, and maybe he just thought he'd kill two birds with one stone by sending one email instead of two. Then again, now his mom has my friend's email address. . .even though the two are weeks away from actually meeting face-to-face. So of course my friend asks me, "What do I do? Do I reply to both of them? Do I write him back at all?"

I must admit, giving her advice on this problem kind of stumped me. I'm torn between a couple of responses; to see what they are (and help me out!), read more

Potential advice A: Reply all with a short and sweet "Thanks for the heads up!" and let it go. This requires giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, which I'm not quite sure is the right move here, but I think it could be the way to go. See if his mom responds. Chances are, she knows her son well enough to know his intentions. Maybe he's even done it before. The only caveat: if she responds to you, you're stuck. You can't ignore an email from mom, which means being prepared for any kind of wacky proposal, from her asking what gift you're planning on buying him to suggesting going halfsies on something together.

Potential advice B: Don't respond to the email. Address it with him in person as soon as possible. Tell him it made you uncomfortable, and tell him why it made you uncomfortable. You'll have to tread delicately since I'm guessing he doesn't realize what a big deal this is to you. Explain that even though it might have been a to-the-point email, it makes you uncomfortable to be included on the same thread as his mother.

Potential advice C: Run. Fast. In the other direction.

Just kidding on the last one - but help a girl out! What's the best solution to the problem?

Do you have a Love 2.0 question you want answered? Join the Tech Dating 101 because we understand that love and dating are stressful and the Internet and social networking sites can just make things worse. You never know, your question could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

You Asked: I'm Having a Flower Girl Dilemma - Help!

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm getting married in December but I'm having a major flower girl dilemma. I had first asked my cousin's oldest daughter (she's 10) but when I recently visited her, she asked me if she could "pretty please be a junior bridesmaid" because she felt she was too old to be a flower girl. I said yes without thinking about who would replace her. My dad who has actually been very active in helping me plan my wedding is dating a very sweet woman with two young girls. I have had the chance to bond with them multiple times and I think her oldest (who is 4) would be perfect for the job, but there is a small problem - my mom would be heartbroken. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I want to include my Dad and his girlfriend in the wedding, too. I'm totally torn, do you have any advice? - Frazzled Bride Brenda

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Frazzled Bride Brenda,

While this is your big day, if asking your father's girlfriend's daughter to be your flower girl will cause more harm than good, it might behoove you to ask someone else or skip out on having a flower girl all together. Since you're clearly close with your dad and his girlfriend's family, perhaps you can ask them to participate in another aspect of your wedding - they could pass out programs or hold your bouquet while you take your vows.

If your heart is set on having her in your wedding, talk to you mom and ask her how she'd feel - you might just be making an assumption here. With that said, your wedding day is a big day for your parents, too, so if in fact she's not too keen on the idea, I advise you to not extend the offer. Your wedding is going to be stressful enough as it is, you don't need to add more pressure to yourself by worrying about your mom's hurt feelings. I hope it all works out at the end and congratulations!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Mommy Dearest: How Should I Deal With Gender Issues?

babysugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:45:44 -0800

Mommy Dearest,

I have a 4-year-old little girl who seems to fit into the stereotypes surrounding children her age; she loves princesses, makeup, and playing with baby dolls. In an effort to get her to branch out, I have signed her up for soccer with other boys and girls her age. At first, the playtime was terrific - boys and girls running elbow to elbow. Then the coach decided to split them up by gender. Kids generally play with their own sex, so I understood his rationale for dividing them, but at this past practice he decided it was time for the boys to play football while the girls still kicked the ball around. When one of the girls asked the coach why the boys got to play football, he said, "The boys have gotten really good at soccer so we're letting them play football. You guys still need to work on your soccer." All of the mothers on the sideline gasped. While the coach may be right, he is already starting to pigeonhole them into the stereotypes that we moms are trying so hard to avoid. They are such an impressionable age and they are already starting to hear that boys are better than them. I would like to talk with the coach about it, but I don't seem to have the right words. Do you have any advice?

- Antistereotype Soccer Mom

To see Mommy Dearest's response, just read more.

Antistereotype Soccer Mom,

Parents are often conflicted with how to share a gender-divided world with their children. It is commendable that you are trying to take actions to show your girly daughter the other facets of life that don't include tutus and lip gloss, but you may find that not everyone is like minded. It seems the coach could use some, er, coaching in stereotyping. He is probably used to straight talk and may appreciate the candor of a sideline mommy. Rather than make a big issue out of it, I'd simply tell him you want the girls to have the same learning experience as the boys. The larger concern at hand would be how he manages to tell the girls about their routine. I would ask him to explain to the girls that they are equal to the boys and ready to roll with the flag-football punches.

- Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on our new community page.

Art Collector Kate Moss Is Furry From Night to Day

PopSugarUK — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:15:00 -0800

Kate Moss took her evening wear through to the next day by teaming her favourite fur jacket with black skinnies for dinner at Nobu with Jamie Hince last night, and then switching to a lighter colour palette to run errands around London today. My girl FabUK has the details on how you can copy Kate's evening style. Kate's collection of fur jackets will be joined by an art collection too, if rumours are to be believed. The supermodel is apparently asking artist pal Jake Chapman for advice, and with James Brown out of the picture perhaps Jake's in the running to become Kate's new BFF.

To see more pictures of Kate in her evening and day wear, just read more.

View 10 Photos ›

Bella Interview: Cristina Samuels, Co-Founder of Mode Cosmetics

BellaSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:02:36 -0800

When you're raised around the family business, it only makes sense that you'd follow suit. And for Cristina Samuels and Jennifer Isaac, doing so has been a beautiful endeavor. From the time they were girls, they learned by watching their father, a cosmetic-industry veteran. Now, they're the co-founders and co-owners of Mode Cosmetics, a line of cruelty-free (and reasonably priced!) makeup made in New York.

Just a few minutes with the sisters is inspiring - they're incredibly passionate about their work, and they know their business. If you're interested in a cosmetics-biz career, get some advice from Cristina when you read more.

Delilicious: Wholesome Energy Balls for Tots

babysugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:00:16 -0800

This post comes from the group The Children's Table from member GirlC.

Okay I haven't been uploading recipes for some time, sorry. Life got busy. Here's one that J loves.

Wholesome Energy Balls
http://wholesometoddlerfood.com/

Ingredients

1/4 cup finely grated carrots
1/4 cup rolled oats or Granola*
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1 Tablespoon honey
3 Tablespoons peanut butter

Directions

Mix and roll into balls. *Granola makes these Energy Balls more tasty and adds a nice crunch.

Print recipe with images | without images
There's lots of fun stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on LilSugar!

3 Ways to Get the Best Brows For Your Face Shape: Heart

BellaSugar — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:00:58 -0800

Naomi Campbell's eyebrows, like everything else about her face, are amazing. They're also not at all the conventional "right" shape, which makes her a textbook case for why heart-shaped faces need their own brow advice - those generic tips don't do your lovely face shape justice. Heart-y girls who want their best brows now need only read more.

Link Time!

BellaSugar — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:10:01 -0800

Kate Hudson talks Botox - Fashionista
Beckham bobs her hair - FabSugar UK
Rihanna explains her beauty choices - The Cut
A preview of Cover Girl's new makeup - Temptalia
Eyebrow mousse: it exists! - Makeup and Beauty Blog
Bloomingdale's now has a lip-reading psychic - Allure
Do women need skin products more than men? - The Beauty Brains
Winter haircare advice for curly girls - Afrobella