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Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 25, "The Goodbye Gossip Girl"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 19 May 2009 12:00:58 -0700

This week's season finale of Gossip Girl is everything I've come to expect from this show in terms of the way it ties up loose ends. It ties them, and then it unties them, and then it ties them again. All in an hour. The writers basically throw at us everything they've established over the season - and then some.

As Gossip Girl dumps out all the characters' secrets throughout this finale I found myself completely unmoved in terms of shock value. Who can remember what's still a scandalous secret and what's not? And do any of these "secrets" matter much anymore? However, given all that, I still had fun with this episode. What can I say? I'm addicted.

It's all a whirlwind of information that we have to talk about, so read more.

First of all, I love Serena logic: "Gossip Girl does not report in college." That's when I knew, without a doubt, Gossip Girl would be reporting in college next year.
Vanessa shows up to graduation with her video camera, of course. This gives Nate the opportunity to apologize for dumping her for Blair. Vanessa's all, "That means a lot." Then Nate's all, "Stop by my party." All better.
Um, what is Jenny wearing at graduation?! It's kind of hard to root for Little J when she runs around looking like she's been up for 32 hours, drinking.
Ha! Dan's name is left off of the graduation program! Congratulations, Don.
At graduation, Gossip Girl strikes! And she gives everyone - gasp! - labels. Dan is the "insider," Nate's a "whore" (awesome), and Serena's "irrelevant." However, Nate's "whore" label only refers to the actual exchange of money for sex, not the fact that he's been with every girl on this show, which is what first came to my mind.
Could Rufus and Lily be more boring? I love how being "wild and crazy" means sitting on the floor discussing things and reminiscing. And what is in Lily's brown bag that she stole from Chuck? Why do I find it hard to believe Chuck would keep his fun drugs in a grubby paper sack?
The best ever, though, is when Serena decides Gossip Girl is going down and then everyone gathers up to think out who it could be (Chuck: "I'm gonna run some stats").

Then they're all, "Hang on. It's just occurring to me now that Gossip Girl posts about us a lot. I bet she goes to our school!" It took them until senior year to deduce this?
Anyone else still think Gossip Girl might be Nelly Yuki? Were they being obvious about making us think that so that we'd all go, "That's too obvious"? Mind games!
Chuck and Blair's little sexy game ("Do you like my headband?"- ha!) was so ridiculous it made me wince and then laugh.
The best bomb of the night is Carter's announcement that he found Serena's dad (who we actually met in the '80s flashback as a young d-bag).
Finally, Dan's half-brother, who's clearly stalking him, pretends he's going to Europe with Vanessa? OK. They all laugh, though, and then continue with their conversation as if a stranger didn't just interrupt them randomly.

Jenny is crowned queen by Blair and she will destroy the monarchy but first: headbands. Everyone is going to school in New York except for Serena but she'll get there next year, I'm not worried about that. Georgina is going to be roommates with Blair because the way college housing works is anyone can walk into an office and request a room with anyone else and it shall be done. Still, that will be a lot of fun. Finally, Blair and Chuck in love! What did you think of the finale? Jumbled mess? Loads of fun? Or a little of both?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 24, "Valley Girls"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 12 May 2009 11:30:01 -0700

Hey, Gossip Girl fans! What did you think of the highly anticipated '80s time warp on this week's episode? Do you think it can work as a spinoff? My first reaction is lukewarm. Don't get me wrong: I love '80s music, clothes, and Andrew McCarthy as much as the next gal, and learning about young Lily is totally fascinating. But for some reason, those flashbacks didn't do as much as I thought they would for me.

Which is fine. Shows can improve over time. But as the episode progressed, I started to feel resentful of the flashbacks, and then . . . angry. I couldn't figure out where these strong emotions were coming from, and then it finally hit me: This spinoff stuff completely cheated us out of our Gossip Girl prom episode. Hello?! Proms are 90 percent of the reason I watch teen shows! Craziest of all, I didn't even realize prom was on the menu until about a third of the way into the episode. There's much to discuss, so read more.

Let's start with the present. Serena is still in jail. Everyone knows Lily did it. Nate, Chuck, and Blair are all peeved. Nate: "I can't believe she had her own daughter arrested. Who does that?"
But they're not as peeved as Serena. Check out what she says to her mother: "I would rather give my kids up for adoption than end up like you. . . . Oh wait. You did that." Harsh! But probably deserved.
Meanwhile, back at the Brooklyn loft, Dan, Jenny, and Vanessa are hanging out when Rufus comes storming out of his room. He's so moody and bitter after his nonproposal ("You guys are the Gossip Girl generation, don't try to pretend like you aren't interested in this gossip"). Hey, Rufus, this is more than mere gossip!
Aw, since Dan ruined everything last week, he calls CeCe to bail Serena out of jail, and then he takes her to prom - because even on Gossip Girl, nobody should miss prom by being behind bars.
Speaking of which, would Serena really just check herself back into jail? I'd think she'd run away before she'd willingly submit to incarceration.
It turns out Blair keeps a prom scrapbook full of hilarious princess drawings under her bed. Who would have thunk it?
I love how Blair thinks the idea of "prom queen" is lame and for "suburban schools" and "teen comedies" until of course she learns she's nominated.
Chuck maneuvers this whole dream prom scenario for Blair. Touching? Or weird? Do you wish we could have spent more time on that instead of flashing back? (Do I sound bitter?)
Nate and Blair's breakup has to be the tamest teen breakup I've ever witnessed. It's almost sweet!

Meanwhile, in the past . . . could they have shoved more obvious '80s references into the spinoff scenes? Fanny packs! Rubik's Cube! Tapes! Music videos are a "new art form!" They even insert a random '80s outfit montage that Brittany Snow works hard to sell.
Ew, I can't believe that Keith van der Woodsen d-bag is Eric and Serena's dad. He even had sex with Lily's sister, Carol.
I loved Lost's Cynthia Watros as a young CeCe! (And I especially loved her legwarmers.)
Do you guys find Lily's love interest, Owen, interesting/attractive/worth caring about? Or do you want to just fast-forward to the part in the future where she meets Rufus?

Are you as sad as I am that the flashbacks took away from b>Gossip Girl prom? Do you think Brittany Snow did a good job as young Lily?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 23, "The Wrath of Con"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 05 May 2009 11:30:40 -0700

There's always talk of how manipulative Gossip Girl's Lily can be. Some say she's a bad mom because she's been married a lot and is overly concerned with appearances at the expense of her own children. But I've always thought she seemed cool. Ever since Eric came out of the closet and especially after Bart Bass died, it's been clear Lily has a heart and is protective of her children - even step-children like Chuck.

However, on this week's episode, an uglier side of Lily shows up - and leave it to Serena to be the reason. The fallout that results after Gabriel takes off with Lily's rich friends' money (and Dan's tuition - d'oh!) is fun to watch, as it brings the entire gang together. It's all nonsensical, and everyone has a ridiculous plan riddled with holes, but ultimately, it's super entertaining. It also reveals just how evil and warped Lily can be. Ready to talk about it? Just read more.

The show opens with Chuck in the back of a cab, toting around the newly religious Georgina and telling Serena over the phone that he knew Gabriel was a shadester ("His suits never did fit right"). Georgina's so religious, she won't even drink from Chuck's flask with him.
Meanwhile Rufus is - I'm not even kidding - humming and telling random people to "have a great day!" because "Serena's boyfriend let me in on an investment that could pay for both your colleges!" Seriously, Rufus, listen to yourself! Any sentence that starts with "Serena's boyfriend" is the most ridiculous sentence of all time.
I sort of understand why Serena wouldn't want to tell Lily, but her big idea is so lame. She calls Gabriel to tell him she's pregnant. Oh, brother.
I love when Chuck's like, "It's obviously time an expert takes over this operation." I also liked when he wouldn't let Gabriel out of his hotel.
What is Dan's deal? He tells on Serena not once, but twice! He rationalizes this because it's his tuition money that's gone - but wouldn't the person to talk to be his own father?
Also, what financial-type person leaves a message with a teenager saying the dividends should be on their way?

Is it just me or does Eric look adorable when he's warning Rufus not to marry his mom?
Which leads me to Lily's "plan." Paying everyone back who lost money to her daughter's boyfriend seems straightforward enough, especially since she can afford it. But paying Rufus dividends forever? Um, that's straight-up insane.
And then there's poor Georgina, who just wants to love Jesus but has to go to a set-up lunch with Poppy. I loved when she tells Poppy she's a Charlotte and asks if she's a Carrie and talks about bringing the Internet to poor children so they can watch Kirk Cameron movies.
Blair on Poppy: "She's so evil she makes the evil Georgina look like the new Georgina."
After Blair lays into Georgina ("You're evil. You know it. I know it. And God knows it, too") she quickly snaps out of her Godly spell and tells Blair, "You can tell Jesus that the b*tch is back."

So Lily sends her own daughter to jail. Harsh. Also, the writers finally offer us a coherent reason why Chuck can't be with Blair: he's way too self-loathing. So he does the thing people do when they love someone and lets her go by telling her it's all a game to him. Liar.

Was Dan wrong to tattle on Serena? Was Serena wrong to try to handle this mess on her own? Is Lily evil? Are you glad Georgina's evil again?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 22, "Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:00:26 -0700

This week's Gossip Girl is a big improvement over last week's, just because things (ridiculous things!) are happening, for once. Chuck and Blair reunite to save Serena, Vanessa and Dan drink together, Nate gets an apartment in Murray Hill, and we learn Rufus is a huge dummy with money. Oh, and Georgina is back, and the girl is saved, which is a very fun twist indeed. I'm excited to talk about this one, so let's get started! Just read more.

Blair is still talking smack about NYU ("You know how I feel about ironic facial hair") and even finds a way to toss in the word "patchouli." We get it! Blair thinks every school that's not Yale is full of dirty, stinky hipsters and hippies. Find a new joke.
Blair's also allergic to the subway, which is to be expected but is funny nonetheless: "It's full of middle-class professionals!"
Meanwhile, Rufus talks money and real estate with his kids. I love how when Rufus is like, "Kids, I can get a good deal if I sell," Dan utters the most ridiculously un-high-school-boy thing to say ever: "You didn't get soaked when the real estate bubble burst?" Such poignant cultural details!
Things that creeped me out this episode include Rufus once again inappropriately confiding in Vanessa about money troubles. Are they going to hook up or something?
Another thing that creeped me out is this idea of Rufus and Lily going on a double-date with Gabriel and Serena. When they're all hanging out together in the living room, there's a lot of PDA going on from both couples, and I just found it to be icky.
How amazing is Chuck's outfit when he's playing basketball with Nate? I think he has on a silk tie underneath a polo shirt with a velour track suit. It's the sweetest basketball getup of all time.

How are you all feeling about Nate and Blair together? My brain won't accept it, so when Nate gets possessive and jealous it just weirds me out.
It even weirds Chuck out: "If you need to mark your territory so badly, Nathaniel, maybe you should just pee on her." Best line in weeks!
Speaking of creepy again: That's what Gabriel is. And I love that Blair is honest with Serena about how shady he is ("North Caroliar") even though she actually doesn't have really solid evidence (the whole Butter thing is laughable).
The girls' fight is fun, though. Blair: "He fell in love with you while you were roofied! How romantic!" Serena: "So Chuck and Nate are obsessed with you, but my boyfriend can't stay faithful for seven days?!"

I like how Serena's big zinger to Blair is that Nate wasn't always faithful to her. Um. Serena? He cheated with you. Good job trying to prove that Blair is a bad friend for not supporting your relationship, since you sort of committed the ultimate in not supporting a friend's relationship by boinking said friend's boyfriend.
How cute are Blair and Chuck waking up in a limo holding hands? What? I found it touching.
I love the Georgina religious camp! The prayer circles Chuck walks through, the pastel colors - awesome.

So clearly, Gabriel and Poppy's big plan is to use Serena to steal all the rich people's money. But instead, they're going to just get all of Rufus's money because . . . he is so dumb. What is he thinking?! And why did the mention of Blair's name make Georgina's eyes light up? Revenge? A soul to save? Georgina is back (I know because they played "URA Fever" again)!

What did you guys think of this episode?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 21, "Seder Anything"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 11:30:16 -0700

So, yippee! Gossip Girl is back! But, um, I think almost every single main character must have taken stupid pills together in some scene that got edited out at the last minute. It's the only way to explain the complete and utter lack of brain power among our Upper East Side crew these days.

Take Serena: The more she reveals about her "marriage," the more it becomes clear that in Serena's head, church + "Si" + guy + drunk in Spain = legally wed. Which isn't totally the way it works. Sigh. But this episode has a lot of funny/cute moments, and all in all I'd say it's pretty entertaining, albeit nutty. Let's chat about it - just read more.

That opening My Fair Lady dream sequence with Blair is funny. Leighton does a pretty good Cockney accent.
Blair's new plan post-Yale rejection is to be a socialite ("Being a socialite was good enough for Jackie O"), and it looks like Nate Archibald is her ticket.
Cyrus offers to get her into NYU with a phone call (these kids getting into schools with phone calls is so obnoxious!) but she turns down his offer and makes some snide comment about experimenting with lesbianism at schools like that. I believe she made the same joke about Brown, as if every school that isn't Yale is like Girls Gone Wild meets Woodstock.
Serena's back from Spain, and she and Chuck catch up (". . . and then I realized I'm a 17 year old billionaire with tremendous stamina"). Chuck tells Serena he saw Poppy in town while she was still in Spain, which is our first clue something's up.
Blair's big socialite plan is to be on the junior committee for the Whitney and a bridesmaid in Nate's cousin's wedding. She gets denied for both because she's too "new" (pssst - that's blue blood talk for new money).
It's hilarious when Nate's all, "I have a surprise for you!" and Blair gets excited, and then the big surprise is that Nate got into Columbia all by himself. If I were Blair, I would have said something like, "For the record, that's not a surprise for me. That is simply news about you."
Of course this makes Grandpa Vanderbilt unhappy, and he asks Blair to help convince Nate that Yale is better.
OK, question: Nate tells Blair it only took one phone call from grandpa to get him into Yale. So why, when striking a deal with grandpa, didn't Blair go for the gold? Admission to Yale? Hello? Blair is so much smarter than this! She only bargained for her little Whitney thing and to be in the bridal party. But those things were only important to her because they were her back-up plan to Yale.

Speaking of dummies: Really, Rufus? You didn't pick up that your son was working the Seder?
And also: Really, Dan? You think a catering job here and there will pay for Yale?
I know Jenny is a lot tamer now, but her infatuation with board games is bizarre. It's such a far cry from taking pictures of yourself in your bra.
Serena thinks she's married Gabriel (who is really creepy and stalks her) and is all stressed out because of this. I love how sleeping with her good friend's man never comes up ever as an issue for her.
Hang on a minute: Weren't Vanessa and Chuck into each other last we saw? Where is Vanessa?

In conclusion: Nate forgives Blair for scheming with his grandpa, and she decides to try to go to NYU; Serena's apparently really into creepy stalker Gabriel; Chuck and Jenny finally make up after that thing that happened in the first season that I had to work really hard to remember; and Rufus is going to sell the art gallery so Dan doesn't have to waste his talents "working." Yay, happy endings! And, you know, kind of nuts. Did you think so, too? Sound off!

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 20, "Remains of the J"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:30:05 -0700

The good news about this week's episode of Gossip Girl? Vanessa is not as annoying as she was last week and is actually lots more fun now that she's gone over to the dark side (hanging out and scheming with Chuck).

The bad news? Jenny Humphrey is back to whining and tantrum throwing about how much people just don't understand . . . or something. Thankfully, she's moved past her angry eyeliner phase, but she just seems kind of sad and deflated. Also, a lot of what's happening with the characters right now makes little to no sense.

But back to the good stuff: Poppy Lifton is back to remind Serena how fabulous she could be, and Dan has one fan! Let's chat about it - just read more.

I'm still dealing with my disappointment over the fact that Blair's downward spiral was superbrief. She is sort of prissy and girly this episode and is tip-toeing around town mooning over Nate. She tells Serena, "My downward spiral's on the upturn." Boo to that.
Hey, remember when Dan was published in The New Yorker? Well, it turns out his story really touched someone, and he's very excited to have one whole fan! Jenny's joke about his letter is kind of mean: "What, did you send it to yourself?"
So we find out that Nate and Vanessa haven't spoken since she walked out of his party. Look, I'm the first to admit how irritating her behavior was, but that warrants a breakup?
I loved Serena and Poppy's awkward and b*tchy run-in with each other. Poppy's passive aggression is entertaining: "Sounds like everything's exactly the same as the last time I saw you!"
I laughed out loud when Chuck's evil mug appears out of nowhere at the Humphrey/van der Woodsen breakfast table. I forgot he's part of the fam!
The ensuing banter between Chuck and Dan is pretty fun, too. Dan wonders what Chuck Bass has to do at 8 a.m. and jokes, "It's not like you work out," to which Chuck replies, "I do my cardio in the evening." Then Dan says something funny about feeling like he's in a reality show, to which Chuck replies he'd vote Dan off.
What Chuck is really up to is figuring out how to break up Nate and Blair and sends Vanessa an email from Nate's account. When Vanessa asks how he did that, he responds, "His password's been 'soccer' since the fifth grade." Oh, simple, pretty Nate.

What is wrong with Jenny?! When your dad's super-nice, super-rich girlfriend says she's throwing you a sweet 16 party with the help of her popular daughter, you say: "Cool! Thanks!" I mean, why not?
Well apparently the reason is - according to Eric - Jenny has no friends. She's a whole new character now, and I don't get it. Hungry Hungry Hippos? Chili?
After some convoluted Angelina-Brad-Jennifer analogy, Blair decides Nate is her soul mate: "Chuck was just something I had to get out of my system in order to realize Nate is my destiny all along." I hope I didn't talk like that when I was a senior in high school.
So who knew a simple post on Gossip Girl's site could turn a party on the Upper East Side into a kegger? Kind of a stretch but still a bratty Jenny move.
Dan and Serena are now acting like brother and sister. Aw. And by "aw" I mean "weird!"
Vanessa and Chuck hanging out together and then having sex made little sense. But it was still kind of fun in its own ridiculous way.
Everyone runs around the whole episode talking about what a good guy Nate is but . . . is he? He totally just starts stuff up with Blair (kind of) and then dumps Vanessa because of one fight?
Finally, Dorota's boyfriend is Serena's doorman and . . . he's reading Ann Coulter? That's so strange.

So Poppy's man is someone Serena may have slept with while hanging out with Georgina back when she was bad. And Dan's "fan" is really his half-brother that everyone thinks is dead. How weird were those parents? "How do you delete an incoming call?" And Nate and Blair = together 4 ever? Hmmm. What did you all think of this episode?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 19, "The Grandfather"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:30:35 -0700

I feel like I've seen a million made-for-TV movies about Jackie Kennedy where she accompanies Jack to his family's get-together in Hyannis Port for the first time and it becomes very clear that her future father-in-law will stop at nothing to build an American dynasty.

Apparently, I'm not the only one watching Lifetime movies, because this week's episode of Gossip Girl seems to have been inspired by something similar. We watch Nate's grandpa Vanderbilt (on his mom's side) embrace him despite his father's public scandal. Poor Vanessa (and by "poor" I mean "couldn't be more annoying!") turns out to have way less control over her boyfriend now that the all-powerful family is back in his life.

After last week's disappointing return, I'm happier with this episode, which also includes Blair's existential crisis and lots and lots of Chuck! Let's dig in - just read more.

In the middle of Vanessa and Nate discussing their Spring break trip to Eastern Europe, a Vanderbilt cousin named Trip (insert Palin family joke here) pops up to tell Nate that the family loves him and misses him, especially gramps.
Nate's all, whatever, there's basketball to watch, but Vanessa swoops in with Control Nate's Life Speech No. 1 and tells him to get over to that family reunion. Ugh, let the man watch basketball!
Once they (Vanessa, Nate, and Dan - why?) all get to the family reunion, which takes place in a magic Vanderbilt castle, Trip informs them that grandpa will be landing via helicopter! And when he does, he actually says: "Nathaniel! I'm so delighted you're here! My boy!" And then the whole family claps for the prodigal son's return.
Serena tells Chuck that Blair didn't get into Yale, hence the weird behavior of late. Chuck: "The only thing she wanted more than me. That would be painful."
I thought the Carter thing with Blair would be longer, but he basically just sleeps with her. Chuck and Serena get rid of him fast, blackmailing him with some secret involving time in Santorini? That'll come up again.

Blair is in crisis because she didn't get into Yale and is tired of being a schemer: "Do you know how exhausting it has been being Blair Waldorf for the past 18 years?"
Then Serena and Chuck become overly concerned Blair's going to do something really nuts like, oh, say, offer herself up as a prostitute to an exclusive gentleman's club, because that's what rich girls who self-destruct do. (No they don't. They do drugs.)
I love the scene where they pester Dorota to tell them where the heck Blair is: "Yes it is old Miss Blair and then new Miss Blair and then it's old Miss Serena and then new Miss Serena - very hard to keep track!"
Oh, and note to self: Never attempt to buy Dorota off.
I know old-money WASP families tend to have bonkers traditions, but really? A speech when someone lands an internship?
In Control Nate's Life Speech No. 2, Vanessa is now peeved that Nate has ambition ("The only thing Nate's ever voted for was American Idol") and lectures him about turning into Trip in five years. She is so condescending! She's basically telling Nate he's a simpleton who should never change, because that's a good plan for a 17-year-old.
In the end Nate chooses a future that's, like, ambitious and stuff over flitting around Europe with his high-school girlfriend, leaving Vanessa to sob in Brooklyn to Dan and Jenny ("Why do rich people insist on tiny food?!"). Call the waambulance.
Nate and Blair have quite the touching moment in the castle's special empty room. And then they have an even more special moment in Blair's room, with Chuck piecing it together in her foyer.
Finally, Serena "b*tch slaps" Dan for having sex with the teacher. Man, that felt good, and I didn't even get to do it.

I much prefer Nate being groomed for the White House (you know, mayor's intern one day, president the next) to him hanging out with Dan and Vanessa in Brooklyn. I'm also OK with Blair taking her place beside him for the moment.

Also: Really, Rufus? First of all, Lily's list isn't all that long (the woman is how old?), and second of all, how is he surprised? She was a groupie and has been married like a million times, of course she's been around the block.

How did you feel about this episode?

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 18, "The Age of Dissonance"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 11:30:53 -0700

First of all: Yay! Gossip Girl is back! But second of all, episode 18 is really meh. Don't get me wrong, there were highlights (Nelly Yuki in a fat suit, sex in a costume closet), but this episode is mostly concerned with tying up loose ends in that quick, nonsensical way this show has a habit of doing, and the result was dull.

Everything was just tame and/or lame: Dan and Rachel the teacher doing their little "I must see you" dance; Serena's PG crush on the school play's director; Vanessa shooting yet another documentary, etc. And don't even get me started on the biggest, most unforgivable offense of all: ill use of Chuck Bass, who limps along in the background mooning after that Eyes Wide Shut lady who's always in distress and could be one of the worst actresses I've seen on TV in a long time. (I haven't disliked a GG character this much since Aaron.)

But! It's going to get a lot better next week, and I was still glad it was there on my TV. Ready to discuss? Just read more.

So it's basically a senior requirement to participate in the school play, which of course means everyone tries to weasel out of it. Chuck gets a doctor to diagnose him with acute stage fright, while Nate laments he should have gone the Jeremy Piven route and called in with mercury poisoning.
The play is Age of Innocence - the genesis of Gossip Girl in the first place - so I was prepared for shallow, pseudo-intellectual comparisons of Edith Wharton's New York to Gossip Girl's New York, but oh. my. god. Could the writers have stuffed more meaningless, pretentious babble into this episode? Between that insufferable director and Vanessa and Serena, I kind of wanted to claw my ears out.
Once again, the kooky, illogical, completely mind-boggling Yale admissions process rears its head. Nelly Yuki gets into Yale (by text, of course - wait, what? Ugh). Which means Blair has been booted out of Yale? Because, apparently, Yale only reserves one spot per rich-kid clique? Or something?
Blair finds out someone alerted Yale to Blair's teacher-hazing antics. Which kicks off this huge mystery (Blair and Serena's secrets are blasted anonymously to Gossip Girl, too) about who could possibly want to ruin Blair? ("Everyone's jealous of me because my life is perfect!")
Did anyone notice Dorota's little moment in the mirror holding up hair extensions? Aw. She just wants to be pretty like everyone else.
I thought the evildoer was rather obvious: Rachel. But Blair couldn't figure it out: "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get revenge when your enemy keeps changing?!"

Here's a question: Why does Dan have to pass Rachel a note? Don't these people have cell phones or, like, email addresses?
Also, Dan is so annoying when he's in "I'm 18, dad" mode. Well, you are having sex with a teacher, Einstein, so obviously you need Rufus to step in. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Serena. Duh. Dude's gay. I don't like Serena like that, all desperate and stuff.
Vanessa and Nate. Um. Hmmm. Boring still? Although his little outburst on stage made me laugh: "I hate pretentious asshats who hit on other people's girlfriends!"
Oh, and since when are Serena and Vanessa such close bffs? And since when does Blair immediately think "Serena!" when something bad is leaked to Gossip Girl?
Blair does what any self-loathing high school senior who gets kicked out of Yale would do after a day like that: saddles up to the bar with a Martini. And who should saddle up next to her? Carter Baizen, of course! These two ought to be fun together.

Notice I didn't talk much about Chuck? That's because I can't even deal with that boringness. Unforgivable sin, writers! You hear me? *Shakes fist in air* Unforgivable!

So what did you guys think of this episode? Let's chat about it! And to check out all the clothes, head to CelebStyle!

Photos courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 17, "Carnal Knowledge"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 10:38:47 -0800

There's a fine line between confident, scheming Blair and petulant, tantrum-throwing Blair, and on this week's episode of Gossip Girl, we get a huge helping of the latter. Frankly, the whole pouty-lower-lip-for-daddy routine wore on my last nerve. I want to see Blair's misguided attempts at standing up for friends and getting what she wants, not stomping her foot and whining. But Blair is actually the least of my concerns this episode, as Dan and the teacher make one idiotic move after another. Let's discuss - just read more.

Blair is officially on detention and has to clean up the park (Dorota does this, naturally) and whines to Serena about how sucky Rachel is. But Serena doesn't agree and tells Blair how much this new teacher "gets" her. Ha!
It's funny, cause you know who teacher really gets? Dan. And she's gushing to him about his short story over breakfast where Serena catches them. Because that's appropriate - breakfast with teacher.
Meanwhile, Chuck awakes to a new morning perplexed because he's having flashbacks to an Eyes Wide Shut evening that he doesn't remember. But there's sex! And masks! He must find out what this place is!
Back at school, Rachel says she hopes Blair learned a lesson out there in the park, to which Blair responds sarcastically, "I made friends with a family of squirrels and had lots of time to think."

Meanwhile, Serena confronts Dan about spending time with the teacher and Dan's all, "you crazy." And Serena's all, "Silly me, I should trust you."
Blair's on the warpath against Rachel and summons her girls to help take her down, but they refuse: "Sorry B, this is your vendetta." Even a hilarious speech about liberty and all that they've worked for doesn't help.
Until, of course, the announcement comes that cell phones are now banned from school. Whose fault is this? Rachel's, of course! Hazel, Nelly and those other ones in their bright coats are all officially on board to take Rachel down.
Hazel gets the shakes because she can't check Gossip Girl ("Is a scandal still a scandal if you can't text about it?") while Nelly mumbles something about checking the Dow.
But ha! Dorota shows up in disguise (dark sunglasses) to give Blair her cell phone. The other girls: "Thank you, Jesus!" Blair: "No. Thank you, Blair."
And then Blair spots stupid Dan complimenting the teacher's stupid sweater while she blushes. Blushing is not appropriate, people! She immediately texts Gossip Girl a Mary Kay Letourneau alert with her contraband phone.
Chuck, Nate, and Vanessa apparently have no use for school and are figuring out where Chuck went the other night. When they appear at a mysterious address, Vanessa muses, "Is this the Chuck Bass version of Narnia?"
OK, so after there's a rumor going around that Rachel is having an inappropriate relationship with Dan, and after she uses the rumor to get Blair expelled, she then deems it appropriate to go have a candle-lit meet up with Dan? After hours?! Dan and this teacher are really, really stupid.
Blair almost loses Yale, but then Serena turns on Rachel too and works a little phone-camera magic. One parents' council meeting and one snappy Damages reference later, Rachel's fired.
So, she and Dan hook up, because she's already fired for the hugging, so why not? But then she's not fired, so, uh, whoops. Could they pack in more plot twists last night? Sheesh.

You know, this is good. Dan and Rachel's "courtship" makes zero sense, but it's a heck of a lot better than Dan and Serena talking out their "issues" all. the. time. Meanwhile, what do you think about Chuck's subplot? It made me laugh at first (the cheesy flashbacks, Chuck's melodramatic tone) but then I felt a bit bored. Time to sound off!

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Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 16, "You’ve Got Yale!"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 11:30:01 -0800

Anytime Yale and/or the particulars of who legally is in charge of Bart Bass's company are central to the plot of a Gossip Girl episode, you know things are going to get really nonsensical, really fast. This week's episode involves both, and I tried to turn my brain off and just go with the flow because nothing in the real world works the way this show wants it to! Yale giveth and taketh away admission with a text message and a phone call. A quick signature on a legal document, and boom! Power changes hands in an instant. It's hilarious, and everything I've come to expect from this show.

Anyway, Blair is back to being her evil, scheming self, and Chuck too seems to have returned to normal with his drunken ledge-walking days firmly behind him. Let's talk about it - just read more.

Is Eleanor on her honeymoon or something? I miss her and Cyrus. Blair's dad and partner fill in and surprise Blair with a puppy named "Handsome Dan!" Ha! Blair's all, "Um, let's stick with just handsome."
Everyone in the Waldorf household is a little premature with the getting-into-Yale celebration. Blair is so smug, she even has to rag on the Gilmore Girls: "I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory." She did not just go there!
Meanwhile, Rufus and Lily are full-on sleeping over at each other's places, and it's getting really weird and icky for Dan and Serena. Eric's reaction to their PDA is the best, though: "I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Please try to remember that."
Then there's Jack and Chuck. Jack's now in charge of the company and the stocks are dipping (or something) because he's still learning the ropes, or so he says. Chuck has been trying to undermine him with little pranks like sticking coke in his gym bag and sending transsexual prostitutes after him - because that's how you take control of a huge company.

Chuck wises up and recruits Lily, who is still very hopeful Chuck will come and live with her and the kids. I love Chuck's list of ideas to get Jack out of the company that Lily discourages: "Number 26: Crash Jack in plane."
Also, there's now a new teacher, Rachel, who Dan remarks about a billion times looks so young ("Does she have Benjamin Button syndrome?"). Har.
This teacher starts out all wholesome and Midwest and stuff but ends up getting tangled up in Blair's whacked-out web. Blair desires to teach her after she gives Blair a "B" on a paper: "Second-semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts."
Meanwhile, Serena gets into Yale but doesn't tell Blair for fear of her wrath (Dan: "Death by Dorota") because Blair's waitlisted. It's probably a good call because Blair's determined to ruin the person who got in instead of her ("Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena. I'm just trying to stay calm").
Serena basically gives up Yale because she'd rather go to Brown and thinks Yale might want her for budding-socialite reasons - and immediately Yale calls Blair to let her know she is now in. Because that's how college admission works.
Back to the teacher: The low grade gets this poor teacher on Blair's you-know-what list, which leads to a funny angel vs. devil scene on Blair's bed, followed by a lot of evil laughter.
Blair proceeds to pull the least evil prank ever (ditching Rachel at a restaurant, really?) but still feels bad and goes to apologize ("I can't not act out against people"). It's not enough, though: Rachel gives Blair detention and then she goes to ~~hit on~~ see Dan in Brooklyn.
And then Chuck saves Lily from Jack! Lily is so brave! Chuck is super cute when he's valiant!

So. Was Dan a total baby about Serena's college decision? Do you think Nate and Vanessa are boring or a nice little normal break from the rest of the madness? Do you like Rufus with Lily together? Are you emotionally prepared for Blair to go "black ops?"

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