PopSugar

Pillow Talk: Aiming for a Healthy Relationship

DearSugar — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 15:30:00 -0700

We all have an idea of what constitutes a healthy relationship, what it entails and who it's with. But why, then, do so many people knowingly get involved in unhealthy relationships? Before diving head-first into a new relationship, it's worth paying close attention to a few tips.

It takes time to find your ideal love match. It's wise to evaluate potential partners the way you would a new friend. Consider their values, character traits, and their relationships with others before becoming too vulnerable to them. You wouldn't trust a new girlfriend with all your deepest secrets or desires overnight, would you?

Be sure to distinguishing sex from love. There's a great deal of pleasure and connectedness derived from being intimate with someone, but that's not the same experience as being in love, or being respected, known and admired by someone.

Men are not psychics. Please be brave and ask for what you want. Be honest about your needs and your dislikes. As with friends or family, masking unhappiness can lead to resentment and blow ups down the road.

It's easy to get worried when we discover low tide in a relationship. However, this is natural and you should both expect to work at keeping the romance alive. Checking in with each other helps foster closeness with your partner. People do change and grow. Learning and growing together can only enrich your relationship.

No relationship is perfect, ladies, but it should be respectful, loving and healthy.

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What Are You Thankful For?

SavvySugar — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:00:58 -0800

If there's ever a day to give thanks for the many successes in your life it's Thanksgiving. I'm endlessly thankful for my family, friends, and the fact that I have a career I enjoy and excel at and healthy relationships with my co-workers and boss.

So, most companies didn't dish out giant raises in 2008 or 2009, but we should all be grateful to be employed or on a career path that is rewarding. Or maybe you lost your job but you've had family and friends to help you make it through the hard times. What blessings are you counting today?

8 Fitness Date Ideas

FitSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:57:23 -0800

Whether you're dating or in a relationship, all that eating out and endless hours cuddling on the couch can definitely put a damper on your healthy lifestyle. That combined with eating an enormous amount of decadent food around the holidays can equal weight gain. After indulging this Thanksgiving, take some time away from the family (and the dinner table), and get some exercise with your honey. Here are some of my favorite ideas.
Source: Getty

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Instead of Tylenol, Reach For a Photo of a Loved One

FitSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0800

If you're feeling a world of hurt, you might want to skip the pill form of pain relief. New research found that just gazing at a photo of someone you love could reduce your pain.

A small study, involving 25 women who had been in healthy and loving relationships for at least six months, found gazing at images of loved ones helps manage pain. In the study heat was applied to the forearm of each participant, the women reported their levels of pain while looking at a photo of their boyfriend, when looking at a photo of a stranger, and while looking at a picture of a chair. The women also received the heat treatment when holding hands with their guys, while holding hands with a complete stranger, and while holding a stress ball.

Overall the women reported the lowest amount of pain when in the "presence" of their partners, whether it be from their boyfriend's photo or actual hand. This simple experiment illustrated how the support of a loved one can help ease pain. The next time you want to pop some Tylenol, grab a framed photo or the hand of someone you love instead. Or if you're going through a painful experience and your favorite person can't be with you, the researchers suggest bringing a photo of the special person along. It could have the same calming effect.

You Asked: Friends With Benefits

DearSugar — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been in a "friends with benefits" relationship with this guy for a year now, but lately he's been acting differently and I think he may be sleeping with other women. I asked him about it and he said he has slept with other women but it hasn't been recent.

I don't believe him, because recently I've found evidence of other women being at his place (another woman's hair on the bathroom floor, another woman's business card on his living room floor, and a condom wrapper in the trashcan, which he claims was used by his cousin who came to visit him).

I can't help but feel angry and betrayed. I feel it was a very selfish thing for him to do and also that he put not only his but also my health at risk. He says he doesn't want things to end, but I'm not sure if I can ever be with him again. I do want to be with him, but I don't want him to think it's OK to sleep with other women while he's sleeping with me. It's just too risky. I desperately need some advice. What should I do?

-Feeling Betrayed and Angry Amanda

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Feeling Betrayed and Angry Amanda,

I'm sorry to break this to you, but a "friends with benefits" relationship does not mean it is monogamous unless you both agree on that ahead of time. I would be upset if the guy I was sleeping with was sleeping around too, but you really don't have the right to be angry with him since you never made your expectations clear from the start.

Having a friend that you fool around with is just that, and nothing more. It sounds like you're ready for this this guy to be your exclusive so you've got to tell him that. Since he still wants to be with you, you need to discuss some rules about how you want your new relationship to be so neither of you end up angry or hurt. Tell him you don't want him dating or sleeping with anyone else but you, and that you will do the same. Tell him that before you have sex again, you should both get tested for all STIs, to make sure you're both healthy. Lay down whatever other rules you want, and I'm sure he'll have a few to add himself. If he likes this new arrangement, then it looks like you've found yourself a boyfriend.

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It's True! We Really Do Crave Fatty Foods When We're Stressed

FitSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:00:42 -0800

If your chocolate cravings are any indication, you may have already suspected that high-fat foods are a woman's go-to snack when stressed. Now there's evidence to confirm your suspicions - UCSF recently conducted a study to examine the relationship between eating habits and chronic stress.

Researchers surveyed 600 overweight or obese women regarding their diet and stress. Issues classified as chronic stressors included job dissatisfaction, financial worries (like inability to pay rent or mortgage), or dealing with an ailing loved one. The women dealing with these taxing personal issues reported a higher likelihood of being unable to control what they ate, and a tendency to eat more fattening foods. Chronically stressed women were also more likely to force themselves to keep a regimented, strict diet to control weight gain, even skipping meals. The downside is that it's hard to keep up a regimented program, and being stressed means a plan like this is bound to backfire - ultimately there's a breaking point, and we're more likely to overeat.

To learn more about stressed-out eating, just read more.

While this study may not offer any groundbreaking info, it does serve as a healthy reminder: Be conscious of when you're actually hungry, and remember, there is such a thing as emotional eating. Be more mindful of your mental health and how it affects your food choices, and make healthy eating a priority. If you need some creative, healthy snack alternatives, visit our Snack Attack group for ideas.

Cameron Premieres Her Box and Opens Up About Life

Molly — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:00:00 -0800

Cameron Diaz and James Marsden hit the red carpet together in NYC last night at the premiere of their movie The Box. It hits theaters this weekend, though the buzz has been pretty quiet for the scary looking film with its chic '70s interiors. Cameron has been busy up in Boston filming Knight and Day with Tom Cruise, but she took a break to talk to Parade about her new film. Here are highlights:

On life and being confident: "I don't have to prove anything to anybody. I know who I am. I have my own sense of myself. And the things that I do, I do for myself and to challenge myself and to have my own experience. I'm in a completely different place in my life now and I'm very comfortable where I'm at. I'm looking forward to the future. I'm looking forward to this afternoon and tomorrow and the next day and a month from now."
On being self-deprecating: "I don't think that self-deprecation is healthy for people. I think you should have a healthy relationship with yourself. We all have our up days and our down days. But I'm not going to walk through this world hating myself because somebody doesn't like me or doesn't think I'm pretty or that I should be ashamed that people think that I'm pretty. How am I going to live my life trying to figure out what everybody else feels about me? All I can do is know how I feel about myself."
On heartbreak: "Oftentimes, the way that we learn is to have our heart broken. As many times as we fall in love, our heart gets broken. But heartbreak is always a part of life, from not making a team in your favorite sport to your parents having a fight. Life is full of ups and downs. You can't know happiness without sadness and vice versa. The great thing about getting older is you become wiser and you gain knowledge and you grow. There's nothing wrong with that. That's a wonderful thing."

For more photos from the premiere just read more.

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Alyson Hannigan's Healthy On and Off Screen Relationship

PopSugar — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:57:05 -0700

In case you missed our many mentions about the fabulous CBS show, How I Met Your Mother, well here's another one. It's on tonight and stars Alyson Hannigan - the totally normal lovely band camp American Pie actress in a much more fitting role. She even talks about her big upcoming wedding on the show and how refreshing it is to see a couple on TV that has a healthy relationship. The two-part wedding episode starts next week but this week we get to watch our favorite TV bachelor Barney in awe of his idol Bob Barker. Neil Patrick Harris always cracks us up and we can't wait to see what's in store for us tonight.

Check out a scene from tonight's episode after the jump along with more pics of Alyson Hannigan enjoying her vacation in Hawaii with her real life husband. Did I mention I love this show? Enjoy and just read more

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Flynet

Health Food Obsession Gone Too Far: Orthorexia

FitSugar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:00:39 -0700

If you're reading this site, chances are you're into eating healthy. While it's beneficial to be conscious about what you put in your mouth, it's not good to become so obsessed that your lifestyle goes from a healthy diet to an unhealthy fixation on a healthy diet. The condition is referred to as an eating disorder by some, known as orthorexia nervosa. Symptoms include sticking to a strict diet such as a raw food diet, making a list of foods that are off-limits, or nervously avoiding foods deemed unhealthy, such as those with artificial flavors, preservatives, or that aren't organic.

Being obsessed about eating healthy seems like a positive thing, but problems arise when a person's healthy lifestyle becomes so overwhelming that it pushes other activities and interests to the periphery, and interferes with relationships and day-to-day responsibilities. As the quality of their diet increases, the quality of their life decreases. It can ironically lead to unhealthy consequences like malnutrition or starvation (anorexia orthorexia).

This is not to say that those who have diet restrictions such as vegans or those following a macrobiotic diet have orthorexia. It has to do with the rigidness of the lifestyle, and whether or not it's actually detrimental to a person's health. While some mental health professionals classify orthorexia as an obsessive compulsive disorder, others think orthorexia isn't a real disorder at all. What do you think?

When You're a Pro, What Does Time Off Mean?

FitSugar — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 07:00:49 -0700

Runner Kara Goucher made her marathon debut a year ago in the Big Apple, but she's skipping the New York Marathon this year. At the Nike Running Summit, she explained she wasn't planning on racing again until Boston because she's doing some planning of a different nature - family planning.

When you're an elite runner, skipping an event doesn't go unnoticed, making it difficult to keep it a secret that you're trying to get pregnant. Kara explained to me in a short but sweet interview that she's "taking a few months off to see what happens in her personal life."

But what does "time off" mean after running 120 miles a week? For Kara it means only running 30 miles a week, a number I would love to have as my hard-core weekly mileage. Although she does admit to getting a little softer now that she's only running a quarter of what she's used to, Kara's relationship with food hasn't changed, since she has always been "a healthy eater." Body fat is an issue for runners, but her attitude is pretty simple: "It is just weight and it will come off." Which is great since this runner, a proclaimed "queen of the 30-minute meal," is spending her newly found free time cooking, mostly Italian, and making sauces from scratch.

To see how Kara answered when I asked her if she could be an elite athlete in another sport, what would it be, just read more.

She admitted that this was a tough question, but that she has always leaned toward tennis. Kara finds the combination of individual strength and one-on-one competition quite compelling. Then there's the fashion side of things: "They wear cool outfits."

Kara's long-term goal: racing in the London Olympics in 2012 and bringing home the gold. Go Kara!