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Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

I'm Asking: If You're Hosting, Do You Expect a Gift?

SavvySugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:00:41 -0800

I've always been taught not to show up to a party, dinner party, luncheon - you name it - empty handed. It seems like a pretty easy thing to do, just bring flowers, a box of candy, a bottle of wine, or some other treat along with you. It also always seemed to me, the right thing to do, since wherever I was headed, I was being entertained, someone was making dinner for me, or providing apps and drinks. Still, when you're cash-strapped, it's a lot easier said than done.

As holiday costs add up, even every little thing matters. It may seem like a much bigger deal to grab a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers now than it does in the Spring or Summer when there are fewer functions and a whole lot fewer expenses. Still, when I'm on hostess duty, I always appreciate the thoughtful friends who bring something along. Even if it's just a simple dessert, muffins they've baked themselves, candy - it doesn't have to be fancy, but it definitely makes a big difference. I wouldn't say I've come to expect a gift when entertaining, but I definitely notice the ones who do make an extra effort. How about you, when you've planned and prepped for guests to come over, do you expect them to bring a little something for you? Especially around the holidays, are hostess gifts important?

Do Tell: How Long Does It Take You to Fall in Love?

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:00:49 -0800

According to new research, it's usually a man who says, "I love you" first. Yes, somebody actually studied this. The researchers reasoned that in general women have a more realistic view of relationships, and are thus, less likely to get carried away early on. On average, it takes a man about seven months to fall in love, while it takes cautious women a whole eight months. If you've ever been in love, how long did it take before you knew it?

iDo

FitSugar — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 02:30:00 -0800

Are you going to be a June bride? Planning for the big day can be really stressful. Working women/brides-to-be have so much to think about: flowers, the ceremony, the cake, to honeymoon. Planning the wedding could easily become a full time job unto itself.

So you don't become too overwhelmed you are going to make multi-tasking a part of your planning process. So reach for your iPod and download podcasts to your iPod from iTunes. Here's a few for you to try: Wedding Planning Talk Radio (8 free episodes), Queer Eye (has a 9-episode wedding series), and 4 free podcasts from Bride Magazine.

For a small bit of change, you can download individual episodes of your favorite wedding-themed TV shows, or even get an entire season of the reality TV show, Whose Wedding is This Anyway? for $18.

Now busy brides can do 2 things at once - research wedding info while working out. That is truly great multi-tasking since you'll be listening to something while on the treadmill, make it an informative podcast.

PopSugarUK Meets the Me & Orson Welles Cast Part Two: Christian Becomes Orson, Zac Talks Bad Auditions!

PopSugarUK — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:43:58 -0800

Following on from last week's part one of my interview with the Me and Orson Welles cast - Zac Efron, Claire Danes and Christian McKay - and director Richard Linklater, here's part two! Last night the cast attended a screening of the film in NYC alongside Claire's husband Hugh Dancy, Precious actress Gabby Sidibe and Stephen Dorff. In London last week, they discussed finding Orson Welles, knowing who he actually was (!) and Zac told us about his worst audition. Look out for part three later this week, but here's some more from Zac, Claire, Christian and Richard:

Christian, as a film newcomer were you nervous about playing such a strong character as Orson against old hands like Zac and Claire?

Zac, were you concerned that your largely teen fanbase wouldn’t have heard of Orson Welles?
Z - "Not concerned, I thought this was a good opportunity to reveal to them the genius that is Orson Welles. Perhaps the kids that don’t know about Orson will maybe have more of an opinion on him when they start to study him in school, have some more perspective, some insight into the life of this American icon."

To read about Zac's worst audition, just read more.

What was your worst audition?

Peter Pan

But it didn't put you off, you knew you wanted to do this?
Z - "Not at all, are you kidding?"
R - "A real actor... you can't ever... if a little rejection puts you off? Then you're not a real actor. That's so much a part of it, you know? It's got to be so much in your blood.
Z (deadpans) - "Because I was really acting at that point."

For more from the interview keep an eye on PopSugarUK later this week, where you'll hear more from director and stars!

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House Rundown, "Ignorance is Bliss"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:30:45 -0800

With Cameron gone, the new (old) team is still working out the kinks in this week's House - and it feels like the writers aren't sure where the show's going either. The episode tackles a genius patient with what appears to be TTP, Thanksgiving, and House and Cuddy all in one swoop. And while the doc is back to acting like a selfish jerk following his recent good behavior, I didn't even find his quips that amusing. If anything, the episode felt like a downer!

Okay, so I know these are harsh words, so perhaps I'm not giving this week a fair trial. Let's go over the highlights, and tell me what you think when you read more.

The team gathers around the table to start hypothesizing, but to me it feels off without Cameron there. I'll give the writers the benefit of the doubt since it's the first week with the updated crew, but don't you agree?
We get it Chase - you're upset. He huffs and puffs and refuses invitations from Taub, Foreman, and Thirteen for friendly help. Then House refers to Cameron as Chase's "ex-smarter half" and gets punched. I want to be sympathetic to Chase because of his split from Cameron, but with that attitude? Forget it.
House needs to get Cuddy off the brain stat. He announces to Wilson that he's going to break up her relationship with Lucas, and then starts plotting ways to get invited to Thanksgiving dinner to see his plan through. Cuddy gives him the address where the meal is taking place, but (surprise!) the house is empty. I was shocked that she gave him faux info! Do you think it's too mean, or does he deserve it?
After being rejected, House gets drunk and breaks into Lucas's place to confess his love for Cuddy. Seriously. (He says to Lucas, "I'm pathetic," and I couldn't agree more.) The next day, Cuddy tells House that Lucas broke up with her over the incident - until we later find out that she's lying to get him to lay off. It seems like House might leave her alone by the end of the episode. Do you think he's finally giving up? And do you think his intoxicated act was real or fake? He tries to make it sound planned, but I'm not 100 percent sure.
While House and Cuddy were weighing down the show with sadder stuff, Taub and his wife brought a bit of comic relief. She's stopped sleeping with him, because she thinks he's a wuss for going back to House. But once Taub passes off a photo of House's black eye as his own handiwork – instead of Chase's - she basically jumps him!
The medical mystery involving a former genius who dumbs himself down, so he can love his "happy and dumb" wife (his words, not mine) is relatively interesting - even though I snarled at his comments about her stupidity. First they think he has TTP, but the problem is actually an old injury where he broke three ribs causing his spleen to split. Come on, 16 spleens?! I know I'm a dork, but that's pretty cool. Next time writers, less Cuddy skirt-chasing, more stuff like this.

Okay, so time for your assessment - what did you think of the episode? Isn't the House and Cuddy storyline starting to wear thin? (Even I'm over it, and I was rooting for them before!) And how do you like the team now that Cameron's dunzo?

If you're a fan of the show, check out the House! group in community!

Photos courtesy of Fox

Stranger Than Fiction! Man Marries Video Game Character

TresSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:00:55 -0800

This past Sunday a man known as "Sal9000" and his fiancé Nene Anegasaki vowed to stay together until death, or a power outage, do them part. You see Sal9000's new wife Nene happens to be a video game character in the addictive Nintendo DS game Love Plus. A priest, live audience, MC, and friends of the happy couple were also present at the event, and the bride's virtual made of honor even gave a speech. A slideshow recounted how the couple met and teased Sal for being quite the player before he met Nene - he had lots of other video game girlfriends. The whole event was livecasted, and Boing Boing put together the video below so we could all witness this unique wedding.

This story might be the first time I've heard of someone marrying an anime character, but I have read about those who "marry" other inanimate objects. The term "objectum sexuals" describes people who feel attraction, arousal, love, and commitment for objects. One woman even held a ceremony in Paris and married the Eiffel Tower. Talk about nontraditional weddings.

Taylor Lautner's Wet T-Shirt Rolling Stone Cover Debuts

PopSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:20:12 -0800

Taylor Lautner has had a busy few months promoting New Moon, and his hard work paid off with their record-breaking opening weekend. His costars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are still doing their thing side-by-side, but Taylor is solo in his latest appearance - he's been on many magazine covers and the latest is December's Rolling Stone. We saw Taylor getting wet and wild on the beach during this photo shoot back in October, and today we get a sneak peek at the the hot shots and video from the magazine. He also opened up about Jacob and Bella's relationship, discussing their love triangle with Edward. Here's more:

On why Bella can't decide who to love: "You know, she's serious with Edward and then she meets best friend Jacob. She gets confused."
On why Jacob can't get behind Bella and Edward's relationship: "If I was Jacob, and I feel like I have lived as him, it gets so annoying. Because she's in the car with you one moment, about ready to kiss you and then leaves with Edward. And then she's back with you, you know?"
On his relationship with Bella after she says 'I love you': "Eclipse was actually my favorite of the series. It's the height of the love triangle. I think it's going to be good."

To see more photos of Taylor, as well his appearance on The Tonight Show yesterday, just read more.

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Photograph by Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone

Healthy Holiday Eating: Keep a Food Journal

FitSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:00:22 -0800

If the thought of decadent holiday food is stressing you out already, take control and try keeping track of your holiday eating with a food journal. It seems simple, but by writing down what you're eating throughout the day, you'll develop a real awareness of what you're putting in your body. A treat here and there, if you're not keeping track, can feel like it's no big deal, but writing it down will give you a real record of what you've eaten and make it easier to judge if you really do want dessert.

As a trial, test out how food journaling works for you over Thanksgiving, and if it seems to boost your healthy eating habits, keep it going through Christmas and the New Year. Plus, you can make it even easier to keep track by using your phone to journal, or if you decide to get into it, pick up one of these inconspicuous little journals or try an iPhone app. You might just find that this is a health trick you want to stick with.

Amy Winehouse Is Wearing a Ring on Her Engagement Finger

PopSugarUK — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:30:00 -0800

We've been hearing rumours about Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil getting back together, and now Amy has got tongues wagging even more by wearing a ring on her engagement finger as she left a clinic in London today. Just last month she wore a shirt embroidered with Blake's Girl, and reports suggested the former couple had been sending each other love messages on Facebook, following Amy's dad Mitch allegedly finding the pair in bed together. They were granted a divorce back in July, but reports today claim that Amy apparently proposed to Blake, and he reportedly told friends:

"We both know we’ve only ever been divorced on paper. This is the right thing to do. She is wearing the engagement ring I gave her the first time round. I think it cost £2,000 from Tiffany. We’ve been talking five or six times a day. We changed our status to married on Facebook a couple of weeks back but that was more of a laugh. This is the real deal. She told me she wanted to get married again. I feel so happy."

Do you think Amy and Blake will get remarried?

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