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Patrick Dempsey Talks to Us About His Latest Scent

BellaSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:00:36 -0800

When Patrick Dempsey launched his first scent, Unscripted, late last year, I have to admit I was skeptical of another celebrity fragrance hitting the market. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the subtle, clean scent, and even Mr. Bella - whose idea of a fun night out involves climbing mountains and camping in the woods sans showers - is a fan.

Patrick has been bitten by the fragrance bug once again. The launch of his latest scent, Patrick Dempsey 2 ($30), pays tribute to the intimacy between two people. (That's his wife in the ad campaign.) Expect to see at least two more fragrance launches from Patrick in the future, but in the meantime, check out my one-on-one interview (sigh) with the sexy actor when you read more.

John Continues to Share All the Details

PopSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:30:00 -0800

John Mayer was proud to show off his colorful tattoo sleeve on the December cover of Details. He's out and about talking about his latest album, Battle Studies, but in typical Mayer fashion John didn't only speak about business. Just like in his recent interview with the New York Times, John quickly got candid about his personal life. Here's more:

On his relationships with Hollywood's leading ladies: "You just never know who’s going to come into your life. To my mind, the only thing sicker than saying, 'Wow, you’re a famous person and it would do a lot for my career to go out with you,' is to say, 'Wow, you’re a famous person and I like you and all, but I can’t do that to my career.' I don’t think either of those is a good option."
On his unexpected collaboration with country star Taylor Swift: "I don’t know if you know, but I’m not exactly Bob Dylan - I’m already a pop musician . . . I want to reach as many people as possible."
His music vs. his celebrity persona: "Sometimes I feel like I do two things for a living. I make records and I talk to people. The record is much, much better than any interview I can give - you’ll walk away from the record liking me a hell of a lot more than you would walking away from an interview."

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Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Are You a Compulsive People-Pleaser?

TresSugar — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

We've all done it before - offering to do a favor we later regret, or overextending ourselves when really we just need me-time. But for some people (and I imagine women outnumber men here because of social conditioning), chronic niceness can verge on the pathological and actually be hazardous to the people-pleaser's overall health.

According to Les Barbanell, psychologist and author of Removing the Mask of Kindness, there are many reasons compulsive people-pleasers turn out that way. They could have had emotionally distant, controlling or depressed parents who were also possibly overcritical perfectionists. As a result, their children grew up believing that in order to win their love, they needed to do whatever it took to please them.

If gestures of generosity to other people are not measured against what a person can reasonably give, the result is often depression, anxiety, and (not surprisingly) repressed rage. In its connection to narcissistic personality disorder, so-called "caretaker personality disorder" shows its not-so-selfless and not-so-nice face: it can often cover for the do-gooder's secret ego trip. Like people with NPD, CPDers "require excessive admiration and envy . . .have an overt sense of entitlement, and . . . are incapable of forming equal and mature relationships."

When flight attendants tell parents to put their oxygen masks on before they put them on their children, it's a hint for all of us: don't take care of others before you take care of yourself - or you may pay for it psychologically and emotionally.

Joel McHale and Ken Jeong Share Details About Community!

BuzzSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:00:29 -0800

Community is one of those shows where you know the cast has an awesome time together. So I wasn't all that surprised to hear stars Joel McHale (Jeff) and Ken Jeong (Senor Chang) fawn over one another when they recently sat down with reporters. I've been waiting to see these two cement their friendship on-screen too, and it sounds like I'll get my wish tonight. Both actors shared a few tidbits from the episode, plus thoughts on Chevy Chase, the possible Jeff and Annie romance, and their mutual admiration.

Joel on Jeff and Annie's kiss last week: I haven't seen any scripts where it'll be revisited, because I'll probably be arrested, but believe me it was good times. I mean it's Alison Brie from Mad Men!
Joel on Jeff's relationship with Britta: His first initial reaction was, hey there's a really hot chick. And she has like an endless, you know, she has all the denim jackets that you can find. And so I think that was his first reaction. And then at the complete rejection of him he was like, ah, a challenge. And then as he got to know her, she was so much more than he expected, which was she was a totally grounded cool person...So that intrigued him, and she really is I think the moral compass of the show.

To hear more from Joel and Ken, including what's in store for this week's episode, read more.

Ken on Senor Chang's constant power trip: There is something to be said about being in a room where you have students hanging on every word. And it's definitely, as a teacher I think it's an ego rush, you know. You're definitely feeding off of that. It's really the only time in life you get to have a room where people are hanging on your every word and learning from it, and you have a power to influence.
Ken on tonight's episode: You really get to see why Senor Chang has the chip on his shoulder that he does. And some of that involves love and some of that involves friendship, and you really get to see more of the back story of Chang...And it's the relationship with Joel. Joel is really the guy that sees how [Chang's] character comes to be, and why he's developed all these traits along the way.
Joel on working with Chevy Chase: It's like working with Nolan Ryan. He's older than everybody, he's got the best stories. He has worked way more than any of us, but he still throws it harder than any of us...We have a lot to learn from that guy and it's so weird to be walking around with this kind of icon and legend that, you know, you grew up with.
Joel on Ken: Ken he will invent comedy where there is not comedy. He creates it...He's a damn good performer and you pray to God you get him in your movie or your TV show because it's like having a secret weapon.
Ken on Joel: I'm amazed at how Joel handles everything. He's always just grace under pressure this guy, because we'll be working, you know, on a Wednesday or middle of the week, and then he's got to do the Soup or another show and it's just how he switches gears is effortless. I just marvel at that. I'm like dude, how do you do it?
Ken on Community hitting its stride: I think that my wife has a good theory about sitcoms...They're like fine wine, you give them a little bit of time, and they just keep tasting better and better......The audience gets more familiar with the characters, the writers get more familiar characters, and so do the actors.

Do you like the theory that comedies get better with time? I think Community has gradually improved week after week, don't you agree? (Don't forget to watch tonight!)

New Moon Star Nikki Reed Says Relationship Keeps Her Slim

FitSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:00:49 -0800

If Kristen Stewart needs any help kicking her nicotine habit, she can look to her New Moon costar Nikki Reed for advice. In the last few months, Reed has given herself a bit of a lifestyle makeover, thanks in large part, as she told People, to her relationship with Greek shipping heir (and Paris Hilton ex) Paris Latsis.

Reed and Latsis have officially been out as a couple since Summer, which was the perfect time for Latsis to introduce Reed to all the outdoor sports he loves. The pair spent the season hiking, windsurfing, and water skiing, and as a result, Reed says, the pounds started dropping.

Besides having tons of fun, Reed was so inspired by her boyfriend's love of the outdoors that she became motivated to get into better shape. First things first, she quit smoking. Now Reed hits the gym for two hours a day and says that being active has made her "much happier."

Last week I shared with you some ways that your relationship might be making you fat, but keep in mind that as with Reed, relationships can have positive effects on health. I personally am healthier now that I'm with a partner who likes being active as much as I do. He and I love riding bikes, climbing, and going on long hikes together. Do any of you credit your relationship for making you healthier?

Buzz Interview: Eric Stonestreet on Playing Modern Family's New Dad Cam

BuzzSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:30:49 -0800

Freshman comedy Modern Family has filled a void in my life - I find myself laughing out loud each week, and I'm not the only one digging it. A huge part of the show's greatness can be attributed to its amazing cast; one of my favorites is Cameron - one half of a same-sex couple adjusting to life with a new baby. Eric Stonestreet, who plays Cam, sat down with me to talk about the show's crazy success and the real-life experience he used to portray a clown in next week's episode, "Fizbo."

On whether he expected the show to be so successful: No. I had a very, very good idea that based on the writers’ history and their very extensive careers that we had a really, really good shot at being something great. Anybody that tells you in this business they knew it was going to be this well-received is crazy. Actually, being this well-received makes you a little nervous.
On whether the success is a surprise: It’s a bit of a surprise with how outwardly supportive the critics have been, but by the same token, how outwardly supportive and sort of in love with the show fans have been. I think that’s the thing that really feels like lightning in a bottle - when you have both of those things in place. Typically, you have huge fan support and the critics tell you it’s the worst thing they’ve ever seen, or you have critical acclaim and the fans are like, 'what is this show, we don’t get it.' So I think the fact that we have both is rare and exciting.

To hear Eric spilling about upcoming episodes of Modern Family and his clown college rejection, just read more.

On his real-life clown experience: I, as a kid, have early documented pictures of me being very intrigued by clowns. The circus came to town in Kansas City every year around my birthday, so naturally my parents took me for my birthday. Once I saw that clowns were people with makeup and funny wigs and costumes, I was in. By nine, I was getting clown suits made for me by my Grandma Louise, at 11 there were articles written about me in Kansas City about how I wanted to become a one-man show performing for senior citizens and kids forever. You’ll see that article in the episode "Fizbo" that was written about me then. I didn’t want to be an actor; I always wanted to be a clown, and acting sort of found me when I was in college. So to be able to bring back what inspired me to act as a kid to prime time is more than I would have ever imagined possible for myself.
On whether he'd be a clown now if he weren't an actor: No. I auditioned for Barnum and Bailey Clown College and they denied me twice. They did not let me in, those clowns.
On what's next for Cameron, Mitchell, and baby Lily: We have an episode coming up where we’re Ferberizing the baby when she won’t go to sleep, and Mitchell is very much committed to letting her cry it out, and Cameron of course can’t for the life of him imagine why you would let a baby cry it out like that, so there’s drama there. It’s what’s great about the show - yeah, they’re a couple of guys raising a baby, but the focus really on that relationship is the challenges of a relationship, the challenges of parenthood, and just trying to find the happy medium of keeping up a relationship while raising a kid.
On the holiday episode: We have the Christmas episode coming up, where you find out that Cameron had created a choir group, a caroling group, a few years back and he was removed and kicked out of his own caroling group by one of the carolers. That episode is really about forgiveness and the Christmas spirit. It’s a very sweet episode.
On his dream guest stars: I can’t imagine who else they’re going to get. That’s the brilliance and awe-inspiring aspect of this show, that people are watching it and people are enjoying it and willing to participate. I can’t wait to see who they find for Cameron’s parents. I have some ideas of who I want, but I’ll be excited to see who’s coming.

Video of Sexiest Man Alive Johnny Depp Causing a Stir at NYC Art Exhibit

PopSugarTV — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:59:47 -0800

Johnny Depp supports filmmaker friend Tim Burton the night before People magazine names him 2009's Sexiest Man Alive! And later, our New Moon Watch '09 rolls on with an in-depth look back at Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's off-screen relationship!

Sexiest Man Alive Johnny Depp Causes a Stir at NYC Art Exhibit

PopSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:57:01 -0800

Johnny Depp was out in NYC last night to support his filmmaker friend Tim Burton at a special MoMA exhibit. This morning, Johnny woke up to the news that People magazine named him 2009's Sexiest Man Alive! Later, our New Moon watch rolls on with a look back at Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's off-screen relationship. Watch PopSugar Rush Update now!

Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.