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Pregnant, Addicted, and at Risk For Incarceration in SC

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Pregnant and high, 37-year-old Sandria Doremus entered a treatment facility in Greenville, SC, with the hopes that she could get off drugs and properly care for her baby. Her other motivation? She wanted to avoid being incarcerated after she gave birth.

It could easily have happened to her. A hospital reported her drug use to the police - as required by law.

Although this practice has abated, since 1989, at least 126 women in South Carolina have been arrested and charged with harming their fetuses by abusing drug and alcohol, according to the National Advocates For Pregnant Women. Only about 80 pregnant women around the country were arrested on similar charges in the same time period. Although local and state agencies across the country have attempted to prosecute pregnant women for drug use, their cases are usually rejected by the courts.

Although many women say that they're glad they had a chance to clean up and be sober mothers, some women admit that their fear of being arrested kept them from getting treatment earlier.

"These are addicts who become pregnant," says Lynn Paltrow, executive director of the National Advocates For Pregnant Women. "They aren't women who chose to use drugs after becoming pregnant."

What do you think about criminalizing addicted women who get pregnant?

Pregnant Bikini Contests: Hilarious or Horrifying?

TresSugar — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:02:29 -0700

Is there any stage of life a woman doesn't have to look good in a bikini? I'm guessing the answer is no. A picture of pregnant women parading around for a pregnant bikini contest has been making the rounds, and when searching around I found another image from Big Woodrow's 4th Annual Pre-Labor Day Pregnant Bikini Contest last year in Houston. What do y'all think?

Nicki Britton/Chronicle

The Preggo Shuffle

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:00:00 -0800

The "Prego Shuffle," eh? Don't you guys mean "preggo" or "preggers"? I thought Prego was a brand of spaghetti sauce. In any case, no rap song should ever, ever include the words "waddle" or "Kegel." Although, I bet a preggo MIA could get away with this! That's because she rules.

Where Do You Stand? Using the Term "Preggers"

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

While in line to get a cup of coffee the other day, I overheard a woman talking on the phone. No, I wasn't eavesdropping - everyone in the cafe heard her shout "You're preggers?!" It was really sweet that she got so excited, but I admit I was a little surprised that she used the term "preggers." Of course I've heard it before, but I didn't realize it was so mainstream. I'm kind of indifferent to the word myself, but I know some people who absolutely loathe it. So tell me, are words like prego, preggers, and preggie too cutesy for your taste?

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Group Therapy: How Do I Deal With His Ex Situation?

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months. He's nice, caring, and funny. We see each other almost every day and have yet to get into even a minor squabble, let alone an actual fight. Things are basically perfect. But here's the problem: his crazy ex-girlfriend is pregnant, and in all likelihood, it's his. She lied about having an abortion a few months ago, came barreling back into our lives, and is now well into her second trimester and drinking like a sailor at night, while shopping for baby clothes the next morning.

Thankfully, I am only secondarily involved in the situation. It's my boyfriend who really has to deal with her and the child for the rest of his life. But I just don't know how to manage all this. I have a very high-stress and demanding job and I am only 25, too young to take on such an issue. And frankly, I just don't want to. I didn't make the irresponsible choices they did, and I don't want to suffer for it. If I would end it when the baby comes, should I just end it now? I want to be there for him through this, but in the end, it's just going to become a more complicated situation. I just can't even imagine what my responsible boyfriend ever saw in this girl. What do I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Babysugar Diaries: Preparing for a Long Flight

babysugar — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:00:21 -0700

Another weekend, another wedding. Last night, my husband and I flew from San Francisco to Martha's Vineyard for another nuptial filled weekend. Excited as I am for the celebrations, I am never thrilled for the brutal red-eye.

To make life a little easier, I brought a pregnant woman's goody bag on board with me. Here's what it included:

Knee high socks to help blood circulation in my legs.
Bottles of water (purchased after security, of course!)
Snacks - low sodium because less dehydration is best.

To see the rest of my list, read more.

Tums and Tylenol in case I started to feel ill.
Headphones, earplugs and my iPod to block out the noise.
Books, magazines, DVD Player - anything to entertain me in case sleep was out of the question.
Pillows - a donut one for my neck and a small one for my back.
Slippers so I could rest comfortably and get up and walk around with ease.

A long skirt or dress is a dream to wear on a plane as you can relax in nearly every imaginable position - seat permitting. Also, if you are flying during mealtimes, check ahead of time to see if you can request a vegetarian option. They tend to be rather bland, which can often keep a mother-to-be less nauseated than the other options.

If you have some flying tips, share them in the comments below!
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Babysugar Diaries: Flaunt Your Bump in a Bikini

babysugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:00:00 -0700

To bare the belly or not to bare it was my dilemma last week. On a trip down to San Diego, I packed a tankini, a one piece, and a bikini.

On the first beach day, I donned the tankini. After tugging down on it throughout the day, I was ready to toss it in the ocean. For fear of frightening other beach goers, I decided to slip on my one piece the following day. I assumed it would be the most comfortable and practical option, but it proved otherwise. My tummy stretched the boob line way below acceptable levels, and it made me look like a blob. Displeased, I quickly changed into my bikini. Although I looked much plumper, I actually felt more confident than I usually do in a two piece. With my baby-hatching belly on parade, I didn't worry about my typical insecurities.

Other beach moms complimented me on my bare belly, while I am sure others glared from beneath their shades. Either way, I was relieved to feel secure (both physically and mentally) in my sand suit. So here's what I say - if you've got a baby bump, flaunt it.

What's your take on bikinis during pregnancy?

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Why Are You on the Pill?

DearSugar — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

With so many different kids of pills out there, it's just a matter of time before finding one that's right for you. Now some women are on the pill for the good old-fashioned reason of preventing pregnancy, but other women are on it to clear up their skin or to have lighter periods, know what day and time they'll get it, or perhaps they like the option of skipping it all together. This hilarious video pretty much sums up the new rationale for being on the pill, but tell me, all you pill-goers out there, why are you on it?

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You Asked: Should I Let This Sleeping Dog Lie?

DearSugar — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
I have been with my boyfriend a little over two years. On Feb. 14 of this year, we got engaged. Prior to the engagement, we discussed having another child - we each came into the relationship with one. He gave into my desires and said we could try at some point. After our engagement, we weren't trying, but weren't not trying and I got pregnant, quickly. He freaked and said some horrible things. He tried to force an abortion on me and got mad when I refused. He then went back and forth saying he would be there for us, but then told me it was over.

We haven't seen each other in over a month and we rarely talk, but when we do, he's cold and heartless, insisting he wants nothing to do with the baby. He says that we would have "been fine" had I not "gone against his wishes and gotten pregnant." My question to you is, should I just let this sleeping dog lie and let him sign away his paternal rights when the baby is born (as he wishes), or should I try to pursue this relationship? - At a Loss Annabelle

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear At a Loss Annabelle,

As hard as it might be to walk away from the man you love, I happen to think it's your only option. We all know it takes two to tango, so if you're weren't using protection, it was obviously just a matter of time before you got pregnant. With that said, if he was truly against the idea of having another child, he should have been doing his part (wearing a condom) to avoid this situation.

When people take wedding vows, they commit to love and honor their partner from that day forward. Since you are engaged to take such vows, it's pretty clear from his actions that it was just a matter of time before a breakup ensued. I have to say I'm pretty shocked by his intense anger toward you, so something tells me there's more to this story. Whether or not there is, he doesn't sound like a man you want to be with, or someone you want to father your child. His abusive words are cruel and undeserving (from this vantage point), so I say let the dog sleep and walk away.

Since you don't know what the future holds, I'd hold off on taking away his parental rights legally, but I strongly urge you not to pursue this relationship. Keep your distance and take care of yourself and the baby. If he continues these tirades once the baby is born, I'd advise you to take 100 percent guardianship of your child - the well-being of your family should far outweigh a potential relationship with this man who has made it very clear that he doesn't want to be with you. I wish you luck.

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Pregnancy Test: Take It Alone or With Others?

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Since I'm not married and not ready to be a mom yet, taking a pregnancy test doesn't strike me as a joyous occasion. If I did have to buy a test, pee on a stick, and wait to find out if my period was late because I was pregnant, I'd definitely want someone in the room with me. Though I'm not sure every woman feels the same way.

So if you had to take a pregnancy test, would you want someone in the bathroom with you? Would you want the support of a friend, family member, or the person you had sex with? Or is this news private and something you'd want to discover alone?

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