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Ten Money Saving Tips For Your Wedding

SavvySugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:06:51 -0700

Because everything you need for your perfect wedding can add up quickly, it's important that you come up with ways to save in some areas so that you stay within budget. It's really amazing how many small details go into making a wedding memorable for everyone attending, from the bridesmaids' luncheon to the aisle decor and dessert, every aspect of the event requires thoughtful attention. Creating a wedding that makes all of your guests comfortable and happy to be there is the goal, not to mention throwing a fabulous party in honor of your new marriage! I've gathered a list of party tricks that will help you save money on the big day, and you'd be surprised how cutting back here and there can save big in the end. Find out useful ways to save when you read more

The Bridal Guide published a list of their top 75 tips for saving money in their May /June issue, but that's a ton of tips to sort through. Big lists like this usually lend themselves to skimming because processing all of the ideas at once can be a little overwhelming, but I've chosen what I think are the best saving tips from their list. Hopefully you can use a few that will save you more than a few bucks.

Book one location for your ceremony and reception to avoid multiple site fees and having to provide transportation between venues.
Cut out the champagne and let guests toast with whatever drink is in their hand.
If you're a stickler for tradition and can't live without a wedding cake, choose buttercream or cream cheese instead of expensive fondant.
To save on flowers, use lush greenery in your centerpieces.
Buy in-season flowers wholesale and then pay a florist to do simple arrangements (or you're crafty, then you could DIY!).
Hire a student quartet from a local music school to play during cocktail hour or during your ceremony.
Instead of paying extra for your invitations to arrive assembled, gather friends and set up an assembly line.
If a photographer whose work you love is out of budget, ask if you can wait until after the wedding to order proofs and albums. Save up, or use some of your gift money later.
If fancy wheels are a must have for you, a limousine will be cheaper than a stretch SUV. And if you don't mind taking your own ride you could hire a private chauffeur to drive your car, which would be much cheaper than hiring a limo.
Do you have a relative who never puts his video camera away at family occasions? See if a professional videographer will edit amateur footage - it will cost a fraction of the price for having the professional shoot the wedding.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Say What? Hero Sex Rocks

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:30:56 -0800

"The hero sex really helps a 20-year-old marriage."

- Captain Sully's wife Laurie explains how her husband also saved their sex life when he successfully landed his plane in the Hudson River earlier this year. File this under TMI?

Saving Yourself but Rushing Into Marriage?

TresSugar — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:00:28 -0700

I have a high school friend who was raised in a church-going family and got married right out of college. In her late 20s, she admitted to me that while she and her husband have a great time together, most of her other friends are still single or living with their boyfriends. "I don't really know why we got married so young," she said.

What I wanted to say - but didn't - was "Because you wanted to have sex!" For some couples, saving themselves for marriage means getting married sooner rather than later. Not surprisingly, some evangelicals are encouraging couples to marry younger, but modern-day, abstinence-practicing lovebirds sometimes find it difficult to balance that with their peers' tendency to get married later in life. To discuss this dilemma, read more.

Think of it as a wholesome twist on the traditional shotgun wedding, with its own complications:

The call for young marriage raises questions: How young is too young? What if marriage is viewed as a ticket to guilt-free sex? What about the fact that marrying young is the No. 1 predictor of divorce?

A recent story in Christianity Today, titled "The Case For Young Marriage," acknowledges that it's unrealistic to expect couples to save themselves for marriage if marriage isn't happening until their late 20s or early 30s. But the article doesn't endorse premarital sex; it merely suggests that the abstinence message may be coming on too strong.

Megan and Jay Mkrtschjan also got married right out of college, and the groom says it had a lot to do with sex. But now the couple says getting married young may have helped them, since they worked out their early hardships while both were still maturing, rather than getting married older, when both were set in their ways.

Do you think that abstaining from sex leads to earlier marriages? And if so, is there really anything so wrong with getting married young?

5 Money Issues Every Couple Should Prepare For

SavvySugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:30:33 -0800

We talk about love and money quite a bit here on Savvy, and many of you have had a go-round or two with your significant other about the topic. In a new relationship, resolving money issues means adjusting to each other’s spending and saving styles, and coming up with a system you can both live with. But as relationships grow and change, financial situations do too, and many couples find themselves having to adjust their approach to money after years of marriage.

New York Times columnist Ron Lieber recently offered up a list of five issues that can cause financial bickering even in established relationships. To see them, along with my advice for how to address them, click away.

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The Hills: A Surprisingly Chaste Discussion of Chastity

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Even if I didn't save myself for marriage, I have friends who did, often for religious reasons, and it was sweet to imagine them having a real "wedding night" on their wedding night. On last night's episode of The Hills, Heidi's Southern-Baptist high-school boyfriend, Colby, and his girlfriend come to visit; the couple doesn't drink and sleeps in separate hotel rooms. They're very open about the fact that they're waiting to do "it" until saying "I do."

If the other option is turning out like Spencer Pratt, maybe saving yourself for marriage isn't a bad idea. And as I recently learned, there doesn't necessarily have to be a separation of church and sex. How do you feel about the idea? Did you wait until marriage to do the deed? Did you have friends who did?

Ask a Divorced Woman: Can I Save My Marriage?

TresSugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

This week, a divorced woman offers advice to a woman struggling with her marriage. After you read her answer, be sure to check out our Group Therapy group where I found this question.

Today's Question:
I've been married for a long time, and last year around Christmas my husband told me out of the blue that he didn't love me. I asked him to move out, and he did in February. We started seeing each other again in April and he has now moved back in swearing undying love, and it does feel different as he is attentive, etc.

The problem I have is that he slept with a work "friend" when we spilt up, and he still works with her. She is looking for another job, but he is not because he is trying to get funding for an MA from his employer. I have aired my dislike at them working together. I just need outside input on the different paths I can take. Should I throw him out or just bide my time and wait. I love him but hate this situation.

Signed,
Confused

To see the divorced woman's answer, read more.

Dear Confused,

It seems like you are having a hard time trusting your husband, and based on what has happened, I don't blame you.

Your husband told you out of the blue that "he didn't love you." This statement makes it hard for you to trust that he won't just change his mind again in the future. Then, once you split up, he had a relationship with someone else that he still sees every day. While it's true he didn't technically cheat, I think you are completely rational for taking issue with this.

It is eating away at you knowing that he works with this woman and it will probably keep you from repairing your marriage. You can give it some time, but if after a few months she is not gone, you should tell him to get a new job. If he doesn't make an effort to get away from this woman, then you should question his level of commitment. I'm happy you feel that he is more attentive now that he has come back, but I think you need to spend more time focusing on your needs.

In the end, I think you should take things one day at a time until you determine whether or not you feel complete in the relationship. I'm sure you have a lot invested in this marriage, so don't feel guilty for trying to make it work. But if it can't work for you, don't be afraid to move on.

Signed,
A divorced woman

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Will a Baby Save Our Marriage?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I’m happily married to a wonderful, successful, and ambitious man. Recently his ambition has extended to me - he wants a baby. The thought leaves me cool at best. But I fear if I put it off much longer (I’m 33, he’s 40), our marriage will be in danger.

This is not something I can discuss with my sisters, friends or mother (they all have children). When I tell my husband how I feel, he says I’m not normal. What do I do? Give up my birth control pills, or get a secret tubal ligation? - Nulliparous

To see E. Jean's answer read more

My Dear Nully,

If you don’t want a baby, do not, under any circumstances, have a baby. And for God’s sake, don’t let anybody beat you into a coma of “normalcy.” Because I promise you, darling, if you have a child to “save” your marriage, the union won’t just be in danger, it will be doomed.

So take the honorable action. Do what a superior woman would do. Tell your husband why and how you think a baby is wrong for you. It’s going to be difficult, but your frankness will help him sort out his own feelings and maybe you can both get beyond this impasse. And try not to put it off. He won’t know how to reach his own truth till he hears yours from you.

So stick to your guns, Nulliparous! There are enough little unwanted babies in the world - indeed, half of them are born into the best families.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com

Sunday Confessional: I Spied To Save My Marriage

DearSugar — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. We met in our early thirties and dated for about three years before we got married. This is my husband's second marriage, and my first. We now have a child, and I must admit that our sex life has fallen by the wayside. We used to have sex a couple of times a week, and now I feel like it is more like a couple of times a month.

It really upsets me because my body has changed so much since the baby, and I guess I am feeling less attractive to him. I don't want to feel insecure in my marriage, so the other night I decided to bring this sensitive subject up with my husband.

His reaction might be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I love my husband, but I have to say that this is the first time I have ever seriously considered divorce. He told me that sometimes, the reason he isn't in the mood for sex is because part of him feels like he is cheating on his ex-wife.

This prompted me to do something very bad, something illegal actually. I hired a shady photographer friend of mine to spy on my husband's ex and her new boyfriend at their house. I asked him to take close-up pictures of them having sex.

Isn't this genius! Now I have some proof to show my husband that she has completely moved on. I know this is immature, but I did what I did to save my marriage. I haven't shown him the pictures yet - I can only hope that he doesn't get jealous and admit to still being in love with her!

Money For Your Honey(moon)

SavvySugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:34:41 -0700

Saving for your honeymoon is an absolute must. Sure, going into debt for it will get you to your romantic destination, but you don't want to have that debt cloud hanging over your heads while basking in the clear-sky sunshine. Saving for a big vacation for two people takes some discipline, but think about the end result!

Your newlywed vacation is quite the fabulous reward and you may even feel good moving money each month from your checking account to your honeymoon fund. Each deposit is so many dollars closer to your love-fest getaway, and if that doesn't serve as motivation to save, I don't know what does.

Check out all of our wedding season coverage at IDoSugar.

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Would You Use Any of These Tactics to Save on a Wedding Dress?

SavvySugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:21:08 -0700

Wedding gowns come in countless styles and fabrics, and boy do they run the gamut in price points. Most costs associated with weddings are bumped up just because the word wedding is attached, and gowns generally aren't excluded from that expensive reality. There are some alternatives when purchasing a bridal gown to call your own, and you couldn't help but save money by opting for one of them. From gowns on eBay to nonbridal dresses and renting, there are plenty of options for a bride on a budget - which of these tactics would you use?

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